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Tube Talk: In what was perhaps the most boring cycle ever, CariDee English’s crazy eyes ultimately triumphed over Melrose Bickerstaff’s aging face, and she was awarded the show’s seventh win in a rather dull finale. But should she have won? In a season of barely passable models, anyone – from crazy-assed Monique Calhoun to awkward twins Amanda and Michelle Babin to uninspiring Eugenia Washington – would have made for a more credible winner. READ ON >>
HOT SINGLES
Mariah has taken some flak from others saying that she should act her age and write about age appropriate things, but I think this song need not be taken seriously. As frivolous and lighthearted as this song may be, I think Mariah is fully aware of how to produce hot songs.
READ ON >>
Ask Again Later: Jill A. Davis’ Emily is far from perfect; she has chronic issues with commitment, can’t seem to deal with any of the hurdles in her life without running away, and has an acerbic wit that borders on neurotic. Despite it all, she’s highly likeable – and she’s real. Davis has succeeded in crafting a damaged main character that almost leaps off the page. She could be the friend you knew in university, or the sister you just don’t seem to get, or even in some ways, a reflection of us. READ ON >>
Spirit: “Homeless” gets the vote for filler song with nary a melodic verse until its chorus, where, lest we think this is a song about the plight of the forgotten, Lewis belts out, “But you don't love me anymore, you don't want me anymore, there's a sign on your door, no vacancy, just emptiness. Without your love, I'm homeless.” Coincidentally, “no vacancy, just emptiness” should have been the title of this album. READ ON >>
Tube Talk: Victory is perhaps the most relatable character of the show, but more often than not, ends up looking like a spaz. In the pilot, Victory meets Joe Bennett, played by Andrew McCarthy (yes, the same McCarthy from Weekend At Bernie’s, and no, I’m not sure where they found him either). Joe is a billionaire type who is obviously supposed to be the second coming of Mr. Big. Unfortunately, McCarthy is hardly it. While Mr. Big was smarmily charismatic, commanding, and chock full of old New York charm, Joe is domineering, pompous, creepy, and about four feet tall. READ ON >>
Lars and the Real Girl: Lars gained critical acclaim when it premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival in September and went into limited release, which might be why it wasn’t one of those films that you heard about on Monday morning as you stood around the water cooler, casually dodging the pile of paperwork on your desk. Plus, the unconventional idea of a blow up doll as a companion might elicit horrified glances (no, it’s not one of those films) or nervous giggles (no, it’s not one of those films). READ ON >>
Dreaming Out Loud: Yes, it’s one of those albums that your college roommate might play on loop while getting over an especially rough break-up. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but if you’re looking for variety, you might have better luck with Alicia Keys or the Juno soundtrack. Heck, even Chris Brown or Rihanna might give you a wider range of style. But even if being depressed isn’t your cup of tea, take comfort in knowing that Dreaming Out Loud often features profound, relevant lyrics. READ ON >>
Best & Worst Singles of 2007: There were also much anticipated albums from veterans like 50 Cent and Kanye West, who staged the most boring feud in the world when 50 Cent announced he would retire from music if Kanye West’s Graduation would outsell his Curtis. If there’s nothing the public hates more than over-inflated egos, it’s empty threats. READ ON >>
Best of 2007 in Music: “Wake Up Call” is a mock trailer that features the band on the lam from the cops, a girl locked in the trunk of a car, the murder of Jeremy Sisto, and lead singer Adam Levine showing a mirror what’s what by beating it in with a bat. Alas, the video ends up looking like a spliced compilation of all the coolest things that the band has seen in big-budget Hollywood films, but without the coherent plot. t. At least it was kind of sexy to see Adam Levine kick in a door with his skinny, girly legs. READ ON >>
FEATURED OLDIE
When I first listened to this album, I thought:
a) I had mistakenly inserted Gwen Stefani’s The Sweet Escape
b) Avril Lavigne could give P. Diddy’s monotonic rapping a run for its money
c) When Avril Lavigne announced on her MySpace page that this album was going to be “really fast, fun, young, bratty, aggressive, confident, cocky in a playful way,” she was only telling half-truths
d) It has to get better
e) All of the above
READ ON >>
December Hot Singles: Isn’t it nice to see Beyonce
finallydoing a duet with someone other than her man? If I had to hear another version of “Bonnie and Clyde,” “Crazy in Love,” or “Déja Vu” one more time, I thought that I’d hurt someone! To be completely honest, I haven’t really liked anything that Justin Timberlake or Beyoncé released this year. So I wasn’t jumping for joy when I heard about this song. But since I am a pushover when it comes to a slow jam, I had to give it a listen. READ ON >>Secret Loves: Everyone has secret indulgences, whether it’s an unnecessary pedicure, an extra slice of cheesecake, or listening to that Jennifer Lopez album that no one knows you own (not that I would admit something like that either). Personally, I enjoy lulling away the time with a little YouTube surfing, and reminiscing about my lost youth via watching vintage videos with such poor quality that they look like it they were uploaded straight from VHS, through a soft lens filter that leaves everything fuzzy but the heavy synthesizers. READ ON >>
September Hot Singles: I faithfully declare my love for Keyshia Cole. I love her fashion sense (some might call it more ghetto than ghetto fab, I just call it fab!), her around-the-way persona, and the fact that the girl can out-sing any wannabe songstress. “Let It Go” is Ms. Cole’s first release off her second album. It employs an old school gem – “Juicy Fruit” from Mtume (this was also sampled by Biggie on his classic, “Juicy”), which gives the song a throwback vibe, but with a hot new twist. Missy Elliot and Lil' Kim spit a few verses just to kick the song up a few notches. READ ON >>
The Best Damn Thing: Borrowing a page from “Girlfriend” is the titular track, “The Best Damn Thing,” which is as close to pep-rally goodness as one can get with the call-and-response tactic employed by so many pop starlets who can’t be bothered to write a new song. The song gets marginally better with an upbeat chorus, but when Lavigne starts to spell out her name (“Give me an A, always give me what I want / Give me a V, be very very good to me”), it all falls apart again. READ ON >>
May Hot Singles: I heard a while ago that she was putting out her second CD and was about to release the first single. I was dying to listen to it...but then I regrettably heard it while I was searching on youtube for some new videos. I must say that I really, really don’t like this song. It’s boring and not distinctive at all! That chorus is so repetitive and irritating that as soon as I hear it on the radio, I immediately lower the volume. Sorry, girl! READ ON >>
Akon: Being incarcerated ain’t exactly the best thing that can happen to you, but Akon took this time to work on his love of music. He wrote tons of songs, and when he was released from prison he started to write even more music and eventually recorded his songs in his makeshift home recording studio. Perseverance and hard work landed his demos into the hands of a record exec, which lead to the release of his first CD. READ ON >>
Daughtry: Daughtry was touted as a rock’n’roll messiah of sorts (next to season four’s Bo Bice), infusing the predominantly pop show with a hard edge and introducing fans to the finer points of rocking out. But when it came down to eliminations, Daughtry, the favourite, simply couldn’t compete with the awesomely average powers of Katherine McPhee, who edged out the bald singer to place in the top three. READ ON >>
March Hot Singles: "Lost Without U" is his first release off his third album. This song is smooth as silk and sexy as hell. Even though Robin is an attractive guy, he’s not just relying on his good looks to sell this song. His impressive falsetto adds to the sexy charm of this ballad, which by the way, can compete with Mr. Timberlake’s range any day. Better watch ya back Justin! READ ON >>
FutureSex/LoveSounds: It’s not exactly a great move to remind your audience of yourself in the same album, and to borrow the worst part of a song at that, but here we are. Clocking in at seven-and-a-half minutes, the song is way too long. The only thing I could figure out is that “love stoned” might be a euphemism for “I’m horny.” READ ON >>
Best & Worst Singles of 2006: Rihanna’s a sweet girl, but even sweetness can’t buy you a singing voice. On “Unfaithful,” Rihanna’s limited range and earnest belief that she can hit that final note shines through so fantastically that it almost resembles an “American Idol” casting call. And the song itself – about the guilty feelings stemming from being a cheater – progressively gets more and more absurd, to the point that Rihanna thinks she is a murderer. READ ON >>
December Hot Singles: With “Tell Me,” Puffy teams up with X-Tina a.k.a. Christina Aguilera. I thought at first that it would be an odd pairing, not unlike Eminem and Elton John, but their voices don’t sound that bad together. If my rating were solely based on Puffy’s rapping skills, I would give this song a two out of five, but that phat beat plus Christina’s voice more than makes up for Puffy’s mumbling. READ ON >>
October Hot Singles: I never thought that the name Chingy would appear on this website. Ever since I heard that atrocious single "Holidae In" a few years back, I promptly put him on my “Do not listen to” list. But, his latest track, "Pullin’ Me Back" featuring Tyrese (model-turned actor-turned crooner), got me to lift the ban for a while. READ ON >>
A Girl Like Me: Bonus tracks include “Pon the Replay (Full Phat Remix),” a solid retread of a decent song with newly added hip-hop influences. The song features screeching, high-pitched wailing effects playing in the background – and, for once, it’s not Rihanna’s voice. READ ON >>
Loose: Furtado describes Loose as an experiment in “punk hop,” and explains her choice of made-up words thusly: “[it’s] modern, poppy, spooky music.” There’s nothing spooky about Loose, except maybe for “Showtime,” but there is a lot of hip-hop, R&B, Latin, and 80’s influenced music going on. READ ON >>
I'm Not Dead: It almost seemed like Pink was out of tricks, so it would be apt that she would come back with an album named I’m Not Dead, a title that was obviously aimed at her detractors. And even if the third time isn’t quite the charm, Pink proves that the fourth time around is. READ ON >>
June Hot Singles: The song is a departure from the teenybopper content that she used to perform with Destiny’s Child. She has emerged as a young woman who isn’t afraid to show us how much she has grown and matured. You know Beyoncé is so hating her right now! If the rest of the album is as good as this song, I can’t wait to hear her next release! READ ON >>
February Hot Singles: Looks like someone is trying to be the next Usher! Now that Mr. Raymond is out of the picture, this artist is ready to swoop in and take all of his fans. It won’t be too difficult. Why? Well…one cute boy + half decent songs + great dance moves = one hot R&B sensation. READ ON >>
Worst Music Videos of 2005: Much camaraderie with the extras ensues. This is just to show us how Gwen is, in real life, and that she still sticks close to her previously unbeknown Latina roots, because her Japanese ones were giving her a headache. In other words, Gwen is one to keep it real. Then Slim Thug shows up, and I don’t know why he’s there. READ ON >>
Best & Worst Singles of 2005: I have had enough of her blubbering nonsense, especially things like: "No, you don't have my back, no no, HA," and "Hollywood sucks you in, but it won't spit me out, whoa whoa, HA." I should add that "ha" is Ashlee's way of saying "bitch," but with fewer letters. READ ON >>
Funeral: The Arcade Fire, much like its studio effort, is slowly gaining momentum - which somehow seems fitting for such an eccentric group of musicians that persevered in the most adverse of times. READ ON >>
Island Sounds: Just by hearing the first few bars of the song, you can tell that it is gonna be a good song. But I’m sure that I speak for everyone when I say that it is all about the chorus. “Out in the streets they call it murdah!” READ ON >>
The Emancipation of Mimi: I imagined that I would have to endure an hour of corny ballads, but Mariah mixes it up with upbeat R&B tracks, slow jams and dance-worthy tracks. READ ON >>
X&Y: Martin might do angst and despair well, but declarations of love are not his forte. READ ON >>
Destiny Fulfilled: Beyoncé's CD was so huge that it seemed highly unlikely that she would want to return to the group. It was as likely as Justin Timberlake returning to his boy band days as a member of *Nsync. READ ON >>
Encore: The puking. The farting. And this time, it's laced throughout the song so that a person, let's say me, wouldn't be able to escape it without skipping the track. READ ON >>
2004 Best & Worst Singles: There was someone named JoJo, who at first I mistakenly thought was a runaway circus monkey but ended up being a fourteen-year-old girl. READ ON >>
Best of 2004 in Music: That means Duff could soon be in your town, brainwashing your children with her dull music and vacant stare. READ ON >>
The Reason: The Reason may stand out as Hoobastank's signature song (and who could resist Robb's crooning vocals and heartfelt apology?) but the band encompasses so much more than that. READ ON >>
College Dropout: If you haven't already picked up the CD - buy it and you'll see why he is the baddest dude in the hip-hop game. READ ON >>
Confessions: This review will be conducted on my good, but not infallible, memory. (This is the part where you tell me to just go out and buy the damn CD, and this is the part where I ignore you.) READ ON >>
Elephunk: Artists who explore other avenues may not sell records, while artists who are manufactured sell records but are scorned by critics. READ ON >>
In the Zone: Is this the part where Britney wants me to take her as a serious artist? Well, it's nice to want things. READ ON >>
Javier: He lets her down so gently that he almost takes all the heartache out of breaking up. READ ON >>
Hotel Paper: Branch hit the studios to start work on Hotel Paper. The result was neither fresh nor daring. READ ON >>
Dangerously in Love: This is such a make out CD. It is filled with songs about love and sex; wanting it and getting it. *You can definitely use this CD as the background music for your romantic escapades. READ ON >>
Thankful: If this is the American dream, then Kelly Clarkson is the dream personified. READ ON >>
Dutty Rock: It starts off with some hype dancehall tracks and then flows into a nice smooth reggae groove. Once that it is done, he hits you again with some nice dancehall tracks. READ ON >>
Get Rich or Die Tryin: As far as theme goes, Get Rich or Die Tryin is all about the violence. And while I have been known to have violent tendencies, listening to 19 songs about it can drive anyone mad. READ ON >>
Justified: This maturity probably stems from his 3-year relationship with Britney Spears and their subsequent break-up, which came as a shock to all thirteen-year-old girls everywhere. READ ON >>
Simply Deep: Unlike Justin Timberlake's project, Simply Deep is you run-of-the-mill R&B debut from a back-up singer of a multi-million dollar girl group. READ ON >>
Nellyville: Is Nelly becoming too commercial? Is he selling out, like many of his detractors have claimed? Surely a duet with *NSYNC couldn't have helped the street cred. READ ON >>
Let Go: Now everyone knows who Avril Lavigne is. But she's keeping it real, yo. READ ON >>
The Eminem Show: One of the most prominent themes of the CD is the price of fame, which pits his childhood dreams of being a rap star against his responsibilities as a father. READ ON >>
MTV Unplugged v. 2.0: Lauryn's a little older and wiser AND mad as hell. READ ON >>
Ashanti: Most of the songs on the CD deal with the theme of relationships, specifically bad relationships. Hey girl, just get up and leave already! READ ON >>
World Outside My Window: He didn't win the girl, but he did realize that making music was definitely in his future. READ ON >>
The Spirit Room: Enter Michelle Branch, an energetic, bright-eyed Arizona native whose aspirations of being a singer led to a deal with Maverick Records and her first main stream CD. READ ON >>
Best Producers of 2002: You know the beat when you hear it - the distinctive syncopated choppy sound that have made them the "must-have producers" to work with. READ ON >>
Best Canadian Hip-Hop Group of 2002: I resolved to stop listening to their songs, but after heavy airplay on Canadian television and radio, there was no escaping them. Swollen Members broke me down, baby. READ ON >>
Best of 2003 in Music: So if you're hankering for a good stalking, pop in Clay Aiken's new single, Invisible, and have yourself a stalker of a good time. READ ON >>
Best & Worst Singles of 2003: In rock and alternative, Avril Lavigne was thankfully absent, making room for other bands to showcase their (ahem, real) talents. READ ON >>
Retro Music: They were very much on that hippie tip that I was just starting to appreciate. READ ON >>
Old Skool Rap: I had tickets to an MC Hammer concert. And at the last minute, I told my friend that I couldn't go with him anymore. I think he knew why. READ ON >>
Best & Worst Singles of 2002: Rap and R&B took a different approach to things, focusing more on the positive than the negative. But then, things went down the toilet. READ ON >>
Best of 2002 in Music: Not only does she always sound out of breath and twenty octaves lower than her CD version, she also doesn't engage the audience at the performance or at home. READ ON >>
Best of 2007 in Movies: Unless you want to end up on one of the worst films of the year, earning less money than El Cantante and Hot Rod, don’t ever take career advice from Lindsay Lohan, even if she’s offering you this while you’re both completing a stint in rehab. It takes a lot of effort to star alongside the iconic Jane Fonda and gifted Felicity Huffman and still end up with a flop. And it also takes considerable effort to play a stripper and still have no one want to see your breasts on the big screen. READ ON >> The Perfect Trifecta: Proving that people can never get tired of green ogres with questionable hygiene, the box office triumph of Shrek the Third ensured that a fourth film was only a donkey’s hee-haw away. On the whole, the film was much better than a lot of new releases this summer. But what didn’t work for the green ogre this time around was a chronic need to repeat every joke ever told in Shrek and Shrek 2, but with the gusto reserved for a drowning man who’s just spotted a life raft. READ ON >>
Little Miss Sunshine: If big budget blockbusters were Big Mac super-sized combos with apple pie for dessert, then Little Miss Sunshine might be something like a plain salad with dressing on the side. But just like food, sometimes you have to weed out the bad stuff and ingest something that’s good for you, as simple and plain as it may be. READ ON >>
International Films: Now that the Oscar race is over, and we can a moment to ponder Crash as Best Film of the Year, it’s time to look forward to watching new and ground-breaking works of cinema. Regrettably, The Shaggy Dog, Aquamarine (JoJo, is that you?), and She’s The Man hardly do it for most people. READ ON >>
The Perfect Man: Jean is perfectly content in believing that this mysterious suitor sounds like a sixteen-year old girl, and uses this as a forum to air out her guilty feelings about moving Holly and Zoe around. Here’s a tip: If you feel bad about doing something, stop doing it. But what do I know? READ ON >>
Best of 2005 in Movies: I thought this day would never come and yet, here I am typing this sentence: Ludacris was in Crash, and he didn’t suck. Okay, I’ll go one step further and say that he put in a fine performance and should be very, very proud of himself. READ ON >>
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith: Anakin’s weak protestations and apparent lack of good judgment seem like a half-hearted attempt to keep us riveted. And, you know, it makes me suspect that Anakin would make an easy cult recruit. READ ON >>
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: Joel and Clementine begin as an interested couple. The thing is, these two have dated before - they just don't remember. READ ON >>
Barbershop: Barbershop is more than a comedy (or not at all, I know I hardly laughed) - it delves into human relationships and touches on the subject of loyalty, between friends as well as in a community. READ ON >>
Brown Sugar: I do like some of today's hip hop, but you cannot duplicate the impact that the music had back in the day. READ ON >>
Horror Movies: Come on, evil children are always scary. READ ON >>
Bizarro Director: It didn't take long for critics to notice Lynch's style and work, and soon he became known for his eerie imagery and obsession with good versus evil. READ ON >>
Best Independent Film of 2002: It's every filmmaker's dream: start off with a low budget, get some big names to back you up, and gross over forty times what you initially invested. READ ON >>
Guy Movies: Just like the remote control, movie watching with the opposite sex might become more of a chore than a treat. READ ON >>
Chick Flicks: Chick flicks tend to focus on two types of characters: a helpless, pathetic woman pinning for an unsuspecting man, or an angry, bitter woman who was wronged by a man. Basically, any movie that stars Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock or Kate Hudson. READ ON >>
Best of 2003 in Movies: Producer #2: But can they act? Producer #1: Ha ha ha! You are, like, totally funny. Who cares? And look, while we were talking I, like, wrote a script and everything. READ ON >>
Retro Movies: My first thought was, "People actually thought Prince was a sex symbol?" which was closely followed by, "Why do all the people in his band look like him?" READ ON >>
Best of 2002 in Movies: Ben Affleck, Sexiest Man of the Year as chosen by People magazine? And who exactly runs People, Jennifer Lopez and Matt Damon? READ ON >>
Tube Talk: Yes, Tila is bisexual, and her free-love-for-all attitude is what the network hopes will be its cash cow. “I thought about it, and I’m like, you know what, it came to me for a reason,” Tila says in an interview discussing her bisexuality, the show, and the quandary of fatalism. “I think that it was important for me to be the one to put it out there, to be the first one because I love to be ground-breaking and be the first to do anything.” Yes, Tila is a pioneer, but of what we’re not sure of yet. READ ON >> Best of 2007 in Television: Normally, we wouldn’t look to beauty pageants as the breeding ground for scintillating opinion, and this year’s Miss Teen USA Pageant proved to be less than the exception when Lauren Caitlin Upton, Miss South Carolina, stepped up on stage. In the question and answer portion of the night, she was asked why she thought one-fifth of Americans couldn’t locate the United States on a map. What followed was an answer so stammered and jumbled that only Whitney Houston could make sense of it. READ ON >>
Tube Talk: Niki Sanders is your average Internet porn star who supports her precocious and long-suffering son by charging strangers $39 a pop to see her grinding on a bed. According to the writers, she likes to do this accompanied by a soundtrack of The Gadjits’ “Mustang Sally,” and mighty early in the morning too, considering her son has yet to go to school. I guess a pervert waits for no one. READ ON >>
Best of 2005 in Television: The worst show to ever appear on our screens this year was “Chaotic,” the Britney “Can You Handle My Truth?” Spears and Kevin “Can You Handle My Stench?” Federline love-fest that was supposed to be a documentary-style reality show but ended up being a mish-mash of home videos that seemed like they were put together by my five-year old cousin. READ ON >>
Best New TV Show of 2005: Chris plans to go to a Halloween party so that he can get close to his neighbourhood crush. The funniest thing about this episode is that he actually thought that going to the party dressed as Prince was a good idea!? READ ON >>
Top 10 Reality Show Villains of 2005: From the start, Jim was loud and brash, threatening teammates with his awesome powers of destruction in the conference room, and butting heads with anyone who dared to speak against his command. READ ON >>
Elimidate: Contestants will do anything to be the last one standing, including ridiculing others and throwing themselves at the "prized" booty - although I suspect that in half of the instances, no one on the group date is actually attracted in any way, shape or form to one another; regardless, they still want to be the one to "win." READ ON >>
TV Second Fiddles: Mother Lorelai is too busy annoying her new beau Luke to watch after her daughter, Rory, who has become, shall we say, a bit too loose for someone who doesn't even talk to her best friend about sex. READ ON >>
American Idol Season 4: Some contestants like to waltz into the auditions, all “Look at me! I’ve never heard of American Idol because I have been exiled in Papa New Guinea for the past three years." READ ON >>
Best Reality Television of 2004: Do you remember when she had to pose with that bigass tarantula? READ ON >>
Best Show of 2004 You're Not Watching: The characters were fully flushed out, and the show headed into its second season with a win under their belt, and the promise that their show would, at least, last for another season. READ ON >>
Best of 2004 in Television: The American Idol Christmas consisted of Kelly and Fantasia trying to out-"sing" each other by yelling into their microphones, while Ruben stood in the back and reminded himself that he was getting paid for this gig. READ ON >>
Tube Talk: I did become increasingly alarmed over the judges' loss of hearing, like that time Zach said that Jacob was splendid, when he obviously wasn't. READ ON >>
Making The Band 2: Each week I watch with bated breath to see how they will get one step closer to their goal. I plant myself on the couch and watch the group struggle to get along and to make music that would please Puffy. READ ON >>
Best New Show of 2003: I also enjoy the good-natured attitude of the willing participants, because they start off not knowing what moisturizer is, and by the end of the show they are using more products than any girl that I know. READ ON >>
Out With the Reality: Joe Schmo only proved that its producers were just as bored as we were. READ ON >>
Best New Show of 2002: Yes, Jack and Kelly, the kids, are spoiled little brats (especially Jack), but they act like most teenagers, meaning that the fight with each other and with their parents. READ ON >>
Tube Talk: The End of Good Television?: Exploitation television - er, reality shows - like The Bachelor, were pulling in ratings every week. I cried for a week straight. READ ON >>
Best of 2003 in Television: A panel of judges, i.e. her friend, hairdresser, grandmother, gardener, or whoever was available, critiqued her dates and the men behind them. READ ON >>
Retro Television: I can't remember how long the show lasted, but it was too long when the small circle of friends had already slept with each of their friends. READ ON >>
Best of 2002 in Television: If I wanted to re-live RJ screwing up on air, I would just rather watch my old tapes of American Idol. READ ON >>
The People's Republic of Desire: Beibei, a childhood friend, is president of a PR firm that represents the best and brightest entertainers in China. She has an open marriage and loves to take on younger lovers. Beibei is not unlike another uncommitted, blonde-haired heroine who loves sexual independence and works for a PR company in the Big Apple. READ ON >> How to Set His Thighs On Fire: From the start, White jumps in with personal anecdotes and magazine tidbits that keep the book from floundering into boring territory. Even the most mundane chapters, like “Discover the Thrill of No Panty Hose” (really, that made the final edit of the book), and the most obvious, like “Guys Will Do Whatever It Takes To Get You Into Bed” (any viewing of the American Pie series will tell us that), benefit from personable gems that move the paragraphs along. READ ON >>
The Sweetest Hours: When bookstore owner Sharon passes away, her meek and withdrawn hermit sister, Muriel, comes to tie up loose ends. Muriel doesn’t speak much or have an affinity for socializing, but once she steps into her world of innocuous books, things begin to transform in her life whether Muriel intends them to or not. READ ON >>
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: In this installment, Rowling chronicles Harry is in his sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, experiencing the toils of adolescence, dating, relationships and, as all the books have included thus far, grief. READ ON >>
Ya-Yas in Bloom: Wells manages to infuse charming, child-like innocence with beautiful prose while pacing the story well. READ ON >>
Something Borrowed: After many, many beers - which Rachel downs like a champ without batting a drunken eyelash - they find themselves back at her place, with sexy results. READ ON >>
The Da Vinci Code: There exist two camps on the matter: people that simply adore the book and will gush over how good it is until the cows come home (me included), and people that abhor any hype over anything and will simply refuse to concede, simply for their principles (I normally fall under this category, I swear). READ ON >>
Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: What first convinced me to read Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs was its initial chapter, a searing and frank look at the author's failed romantic relationships, which leads him to believe that who all women are really looking for is John Cusack. READ ON >>
Why Men Don't Have a Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes: Don't let the cartoonish pastel cover fool you, or even the atrocious title that has so many things wrong with it that it needs its own article. READ ON >>
The Lovely Bones: As a penniless student, you can understand my weird habit of killing time in the university bookstore by reading books that I was too broke to buy. I wasn't proud of it, but then again, I had to find a way to beat the system that had put me into debt for the next ten years of my adult life. READ ON >>
Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others: I am definitely approaching the marrying age (okay, I approached it), but I am not looking for Mr. Right anytime soon. I still have a few good years of getting my groove on before I jump the broom. READ ON >>
Memoirs of a Geisha: Through Golden's prose, the Japanese culture unfolds in touching, and occasionally comical, glimpses. READ ON >>
The Devil Wears Prada: She'd be the villain in a badly written Disney movie, doing nothing more than cackling at small children and stealing their pets. READ ON >>
The Reader: He tells the story as it unfolds, seldom offering explanations. Things happened as they were, and for this the reader is able to come to his or her own conclusions. READ ON >>
The Broke Diaries: Nissel is a poor anthropology major studying at Pennsylvania University, living in a little loft off-campus, eating Ramen noodles and dating chicken farmers to get free food. READ ON >>
4 Blondes: Really, I don't know why Ms. Bicknell decided to write specifically about blondes, unless someone told her repeatedly that blondes are dumb or something, and she set out to prove that they're not (oh, of course they're not). READ ON >>
Retro Books: I fell in love with Anne Shirley. She was this little orphan who had so much spirit and imagination. Throw in a little romance and I was hooked. READ ON >>
Retro Author: Admittedly, the stories were a little sensationalist and far-fetched, but I usually didn't care about that. All that mattered was that the good guys won and the girl got her boy at the end. READ ON >>
Shanghai Kiss: Which brings us to Shanghai Kiss, a perfect vehicle for a young actor to dive into deeper territories. Shanghai Kiss is a character drama in the same vein as Garden State, the 2004 vanity project helmed by Zach Braff. But unlike Garden State, this film feels more raw, less formulaic and affected. And unlike Garden State, Shanghai Kiss features a protagonist whose self-pity is only mildly aggravating, and he doesn’t spend copious amounts of time talking about feelings, staring at the wall, and making googly eyes at Natalie Portman. READ ON >> The Lookout: Another surprise performance comes from Jeff Daniels, the same man who brought us Dumb & Dumber and Mama’s Boy (though I have to admit, he was quite good in Pleasantville). Daniels provides the requisite comic relief when it’s needed, but as a scruffy and almost unrecognizable Lewis, he also brings another layer of tragedy to the story. Normally, an appearance by Jeff Daniels evokes the same level of excitement as picking up dry-cleaning or preparing a pot roast, but in this case, it’s notable. READ ON >>
John Tucker Must Die: After some soul-searching, the girls decide to get even, enlisting in Kate’s help along the way. Because Kate has been invisible her whole life and yearns to fit in and likes chemistry and has a hot mother who can’t form a long-term relationship, she relents. READ ON >>
The Office: If I ever feel the need to see something again, I just borrow a friend’s DVD and then never return it, like I did last week with Dodgeball. But once in a while, something will come along that will break down my frugal barriers. This was the case when I decided to buy the first season of The Office. READ ON >>
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Freeman plays Arthur quite charmingly, and is capable of carrying the role without channeling the caricature school of acting. Since he prominently figures in most of the film, this is a good thing. READ ON >>
The Pacifier: This hatred for Vin quickly dissipates when the kids realize that people are really trying to kill them and he's the only one that can prolong their bratty lives. READ ON >>
Battle of the Teen Actors Turned Movie Stars: Britney goes on to write a "poem" about being "not a girl, not yet a woman," and her boyfriend Ben, who is sensitive and so must play the guitar, writes the accompaniment. READ ON >>
American Idol: Simon, known for his harsh judgment and blunt comments, became the Hot Topic for Americans everywhere (and also leant credence to the stereotype that British People Are Mean). READ ON >>
love jones: The scene starts off with Darius and his fine ass, kissing every inch of Nina's hot and bothered body. She obligingly returns the favour. READ ON >>
Quickie Reviews: No one ever watches Jackie Chan movies for the plot (or acting, even) but his latest effort, The Medallion, leaves a lot to be desired. And Julian Sands is perhaps the most laughable villain ever. READ ON >>
Fall 2007 Television Preview: ABC hopes that our love for “Grey’s Anatomy” will spill over to its first spin-off, “Private Practice.” Dr. Addison trades in her Seattle Grace scrubs for a stint at a Santa Monica fertility clinic run by one of her best friends, Dr. Naomi Bennett. But even though Addison’s left the gray skies of Seattle, the drama hasn’t left her. Together, this neurotic group is hoping to capture the magic that worked so well for “Grey’s Anatomy.” READ ON >> Summer 2007 Movie Preview: John McClane, the man responsible for bringing "yippee-ki-yay" into our lexicons, is back in this fourth installment in the Die Hard series. Although John should be at about retirement age now, living in a condo in Florida somewhere, he's instead a recovering alcoholic divorcé spending his time working for the United States Department of Homeland Security chasing down computer hackers. Luckily, McClane has just taken a brilliant computer hacker (Long) into custody, and together, they set off to stop these Internet bullies from taking over the world. READ ON >>
Summer 2007 Indie Movie Preview: It’s been a while since a good, campy vampire flick has graced the big screen (and no, Blade III does not count), and an even longer time since Lucy Liu’s done anything (and no, reprising her role as Ling Woo on “Ugly Betty” does not count). This won’t be anywhere near rocket science, or science, or even remotely educational, but it will lull away a lazy summer afternoon. READ ON >>
Fall 2006 Movie Preview: Based on the famous video game, DOA follows a fighting tournament set on a remote island where scantily-clad women battle one another, sometimes in the rain, for variously contrived reasons that all point to the shady Donovan. If you like video game adaptations or are a young teenage boy, then this one’s for you. READ ON >>
Summer 2006 Movie Preview: As an outsider, Sean soon finds himself caught up in the world of drift racing. Sean engages in a race with the wrong man, and is suddenly owes a sizeable debt to D.K., the "Drift King" (Tee), who belongs to the malicious Japanese Yakuza gang. Not content with only being a little bit in trouble, Sean also falls for Neela (Kelley), D.K.'s girlfriend. Much hilarity, and racing, ensues. READ ON >>
Fall 2005 Movie Preview: But King Kong soon realizes that the glitz and glamour aren't all they're cracked up to be as he becomes addicted to cocaine and turns to prostitution to subsidize his growing addiction, or so the version goes in my head. READ ON >>
Fall 2005 Television Preview: Taking over the usual "24" slot is no easy feat, so the folks at FOX have decided to throw us another show that takes a whole season to play out. But instead of old, crusty Kiefer Sutherland we get broodingly hot Michael Scofield. READ ON >>
Fall 2004 Television Preview: You know Jonny's bad when he drops the h in "Jonny." Jonny solves crimes, and is so good at it that the FBI wants to recruit him. Read on >>
Winter 2004 Movie Preview: Why You Should Skip It: B2K. B2K. And B2K. READ ON >>
Summer 2003 Movie Preview: Gigli (Affleck) is a hit man working in Los Angeles. He teams up with a woman (Lopez) he presumes is in the business as well. Or is she? Maybe she's just a girl from the block, yo. READ ON >>
Summer 2002 Movie Preview: Summer roared in like a little frightened kitten, and before we knew it, Spider-Man became an overnight success and Anakin Skywalker was one step closer to intergalactic domination and losing his virginity. READ ON >>
Spring 2002 Movie Preview: Now that spring is here, Hollywood's crop of movies should get a little better, or so we hope. READ ON >>
Bad Music Videos: It seems that poor T-Pain has been duped by his record company, who saved five hundred dollars in the last fiscal quarter by recycling sets and extras from “Buy U A Drank” in order to produce “Bartender.” Don’t believe me? Try playing these songs on mute, and then distinguishing one from the other. Not so easy, is it? But upon closer inspection, it might appear that they’re not the same video after all – in fact, you might notice that “Bartender” does not include a close-up of a brandy snifter, while “Buy U A Drank” does. Hopefully this will help next time you happen across a T-Pain music video. READ ON >> Girl Fight: Nothing would satisfy us more than seeing Avril Lavigne and Hilary Duff cancel each other out to make room for more talented musicians, but as it stands, their feud only serves to amplify how easily famous people can make a mountain out of a mole hill. It all began with a comment from Duff from what seems like 1987 now, in which she slams Lavigne’s apparent lack of gratitude to fans. Avril struck back, talking smack about Duff in various interviews although. At the 2007 Much Music Video Awards, viewers waited with bated breath to see if the barely legal starlets would end up in a catfight. Sadly, all we got was a tepid performance of “Girlfriend.” READ ON >>
The Canadian Urban Music Awards: Particularly evident this year was just how big the event has become. While the CUMA hasn’t quite yet reached the same level as, say, the Juno Awards, it is definitely grabbing its fair share of attention. READ ON >>
The BET Awards: The funniest part of the performance for me was watching Terence's eyes glued to Beyoncé's big booty. READ ON >>
'Da Kink In My Hair: Using the hair salon as a backdrop was a stoke of genius, because it is in a salon that you feel free to tell your hairdresser everything going on in your life. READ ON >>
Best Video of 2003: Think about it, you're at a crappy job, and the only reason that you roll out of bed to go to work is to see that certain someone that puts butterflies in your stomach. READ ON >>
Music Trends of 2003: First of all, this music is pure party music and you can't help but get up and get your dance on. Secondly, the sexual overtones alone will have you grabbing someone to grind on. READ ON >>
The Much Music Video Awards: So Michelle asks me if I want to hit the MMVA show this year. She wants to see Sean Paul. I want to pull Avril Lavigne's hair. READ ON >>
The Bizarro Celebrity Awards: Celebrity most likely to fail a mandatory drug test: a) Macy Gray b) Brittany Murphy c) Robert Downey Jr. READ ON >>
The Concert for Toronto: The only good thing that came out of that performance was…Hold on! Give me a minute! I'll come up with something… READ ON >>
The Canadian Idol Auditions: Early morning. Find parking among the masses of people milling about aimlessly. Patience is wearing thin. Repeat mantra: "PEOPLE ARE NOT POINTS...OHM…" READ ON >>
Celebrity Crush: He was the actor or the musician who touched my soul through his craft, and sent my teenage hormones racing. READ ON >>
The Kids in the Hall: They were good together. Then they broke up, and Canada's funniest comedy troupe became a legend our generation planned to talk about to our children. READ ON >>
Never Con a Con Man: In this case, what is art? For Boggs, perhaps the art can be found in the way he convinces people to pay ridiculously high sums for some fake money and a receipt. READ ON >>
Sexy Men: Like beauty, sexiness lies in the eyes of the beholder. READ ON >>
Sexy Music II: For those moments that you want to get down and dirty with your boo and make him scream your name, I suggest you play the second track off Beyoncé's CD. READ ON >>
Sexy Music: Even though it is not your traditional love song, its phat beats and lyrics of undying love has enough power to warm any thug's heart. READ ON >>
