| |
Turn It On:
What's new this fall...
It was quite difficult to mourn the loss of "Friends" when it ended its ten-year run as one of television's hottest comedies. It might have been easier to shed a tear for Rachel, Ross, Phoebe et al. if they didn't air a "Friends" retrospective special every five minutes (and before the final show went on the air, no less). Now that the frenzy has died down - and it was long overdue since nothing was really funny after season six - it's time to look to the future. Here's what you could be watching (or avoiding) this fall. ¤ C.Ho.If you're into medical shows…
In "Medical Investigation," medical experts pose for pretty pictures like this one...and do other stuff too.
Medical Investigation (NBC, Fridays 10:00 - 11:00)
This hour-long drama will take a look at the trials and tribulations of a team of medical experts from the National Institute of Health. Described (probably by an overzealous writer over at NBC) as "part cop show, part medical drama," the cases will be based on true stories from the very real U.S. National Institute of Health. Starring Kelli Williams (ex "The Practice" star - nice to see that she's getting work), Chris Kelly, and Neal McDonough.
Post-season Outcome: Axed after half a season. "House" is proving that there's only room for so many rickety supervisors.Dr. Vegas (CBS, Fridays 10:00 - 11:00)
Rob Lowe is a physician who has left his lucrative stint at the hospital to work as an in-house doctor for a prestigious, not-at-all-shady casino. Joe Pantoliano (Joey Pants!) plays his long-time friend and general manager of the Las Vegas casino. And for the guys, "Dr. Vegas" also stars Amy Adams (Catch Me If You Can, The Wedding Date) and Sarah Lancaster (who played Sarah on "Saved by the Bell: The New Class").
Post-season Outcome: Was this even on?CSI: NY (CBS, Wednesdays 10:00 - 11:00)
As if Las Vegas and Miami weren't enough, we now have New York to add to the "CSI" phenomenon. This latest installment, which looks at the work of forensic investigators, stars Gary Sinise and Melina Kanakaredes, as well as a whole bunch of people I have never seen before.
Post-season Outcome: Still lives on, but with considerably poorer ratings than its predecessors, "CSI," and "CSI: Miami" - which is surprising, considering this cast's aesthetic average is far higher.House (FOX, Tuesdays 9:00 - 10:00)
House is about a team of diagnosticians (aren't you glad I didn't say forensic scientists?) who race around the clock to save people's lives. In da house is Hugh Laurie, Lisa Edelstein, and Omar Epps.
Post-season Outcome: Thanks to a prime spot following "American Idol," "House," this-close to cancellation, has now become a sleeper hit.If you're into cops and robbers…
"Miami Vice" for the millenium? We hope not.
Hawaii (NBC, Wednesdays 8:00 - 9:00)
Not to be confused with an unwarranted Miami Vice remake, Hawaii will go deep into the underworld of, well, Hawaii, to uncover the cops and detectives working the beat, and the local and international criminals they love to hate. Starring Sharif Atkins, Eric Balfour, and Michael Bietin.
Post-season Outcome: Axed, much like Eric Balfour's character in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. (Eric Balfour can now be seen on the WB's "Sex, Lies, and Secrets.")The Inside (FOX, Fridays 8:00 - 9:00)
A 22-year-old federal agent poses as a highschool student to try to infiltrate the teenaged drug lords that stroll through the halls of the school. Watch out for that shady hall monitor! Starring Rachel Nichols and Peter Facinelli (last seen on FOX's "Fastlane").
Post-season Outcome: After revamping the pilot completely, getting rid of Facinelli, and jerking the show's schedule around, FOX has managed to screw up the fate of the surprisingly good show after a mere four episodes. Boo on you, FOX!Jonny Zero (FOX, Fridays 9:00 - 10:00)
You know Jonny's bad when he drops the h in "Jonny." The titular title has just been released from prison for drug possession and is trying to stay clean, although he works at a questionable club and has questionable friends. Jonny solves crimes, and is so good at it that the FBI wants to recruit him. This would have been a perfect role for "bad boy" Vin Diesel. Starring Franky G (kid you not), GQ (kid you not), and Chris Bauer.
Post-season Outcome: Bad timeslot + mediocre show = imminent death.If you're into ex-Melrose Place stars…
Lax (NBC, Mondays 10:00 - 11:00)
Heather Locklear, who had made a career out of being a blonde bitchy seductress, will star with Blair Underwood as his rival in the world of major international airports. Watch as they thwart security breaches, terrorists, illegal immigrants, drug smugglers, and rescue missing children.
Post-season Outcome: Even Amanda Woodward and countless articles in Entertainment Weekly couldn't save this one.Desperate Housewives (ABC, Sundays 9:00 - 10:00)
Marcia Cross (crazy, prosthetic scar-wearing Kimberly Shaw on "Melrose Place") is just one desperate housewife in this ensemble drama about a small suburb in Everytown, U.S.A. Of course, it wouldn't be interesting if everyone were normal, so of course, there are secrets, betrayals, and lies. Also starring Sheryl Lee, Teri Hatcher, and Felicity Huffman.
Post-season Outcome: If you haven't heard, this show is doing pretty well for itself. (Although Sheryl Lee isn't - she was replaced by Brenda Strong by the time the pilot aired.)If you're into popular sitcom second-fiddles trying to make it on their own…
Matt LeBlanc is just a floating head! And he stars in this fall's new spin-off, "Joey."
Joey (NBC, Thursdays 8:00 - 8:30)
We all wish Matt LeBlanc well in his quest to revive Joey Tribbiani in this "Friends" spin-off. After everyone goes their separate ways, Joey travels to Los Angeles to further pursue his acting career (as if ten years of it on "Friends" wasn't enough). He moves in with his sister, Gina, and his genius 20-year-old nephew. Since Joey is stupid, you can expect that there will be a lot going over his head here. Also starring Drea DeMatteo and Ashley Scott. (At press time, it has been rumoured that, due to lacklustre screen testings, Ashley Scott has been dropped from the show.)
Post-season Outcome: Ashley Scott was dumped, but you can catch her in Into The Blue with Jessica Alba. As for the rest of the doomed cast, "Joey" has been renewed for another season by NBC, but still suffers from lacklustre ratings.Listen Up (CBS, Mondays 8:00 - 8:30)
George Constanza, also known by his friends and family as Jason Alexander, is a sports talk show host and columnist who tries to juggle his family life and career. Malcolm-Jamal Warner, better known as Theodore Huxtable, is the sidekick on his sports show, "Shut Up and Listen." Based on Tony Knornheister's life as a sports commentator and columnist. You can also find this show under the category,"If you're into shows that are like "Everybody Loves Raymond" but not "Everybody Loves Raymond"…"
Post-season Outcome: Try as it might, CBS couldn't capitalize on the appeal of Jason Alexander, who channeled George Constanza but still failed.If you're into family-friendly sitcoms starring people you may or may not recognize…
Father of the Pride (NBC, Tuesdays 9:00 - 9:30)
From the people who brought us Shrek comes this CGI-ed comedy about a pride of white lions who work for Siegfried and Roy in their Las Vegas show. Voice talent includes John Goodman, Carl Reiner, and Orlando Jones.
Post-season Outcome: Try as it might, CBS couldn't capitalize on the appeal of Jason Alexander, who channeled George Constanza but still failed.Center of the Universe (CBS, Wednesdays 9:30 - 10:00)
John Goodman ("Roseanne") and Jean Smart ("Designing Women") are the head of the household in this half-hour comedy about a man (that would be Goodman) trying to balance his crazy family. Ed Asner stars as his sex-obsessed father - better get out your V-chip and block this show for the kids - and Olympia Dukakis is his kooky mother. Like "Everybody Loves Raymond," but not starring Ray Romano.
Post-season Outcome: I think about five people watched this show. Too bad for Jean Smart; she was good as a guest-star on "Frasier" and this show was a poor vehicle for her comedic talents.Rodney (ABC, Tuesdays 9:30 - 10:00)
Rodney Carrington is a real life comedian who plays a struggling comedian in this self-described "Home Improvement/Roseanne" sitcom. Also starring Jennifer Aspen and Amy Pietz.
Post-season Outcome: Another family comedy that tanked. No wonder they say the sitcom format is dead.
The Savages (ABC, Fridays 8:30 - 9:00)
A bunch of rowdy boys and a hapless father? How innovative!
Executive producer and director Mel Gibson offers up his anti-Passion of the Christ with "The Savages," a sitcom about a single father (don't get excited - it's not Mel Gibson but Keith Carradine) raising five precocious sons. Producers Mike Scully and Julie Thacker Scully have also worked on "The Simpsons." Also starring Andrew Eiden and Shaun Sipos.
Post-season Outcome: Just like Paparazzi, Mel Gibson's attached name couldn't do anything for ratings - the show was canned after one season, although how it made it that far is a mystery.Commando Nanny (WB, Fridays 8:30 - 9:00)
Mark Burnett taps into his real-life experiences as an ex-member of the British Army Parachute Regiment who left jolly ol' England to come to the U.S. and brings us "Commando Nanny," a (scripted!) sitcom about a 22-year-old ex-commando from the British Special Forces who comes to Beverly Hills and finds himself a reluctant nanny to three spoiled children. An updated version of "Who's The Boss," minus the jail-bait Alyssa Milano.
Post-season Outcome: Perhaps Mark Burnett should stick to doing his reality thing, since "Commando Nanny" was cancelled by the WB after a mere month.If you want an hour long drama that isn't about sex, CSI, or David E. Kelley…
Clubhouse (CBS, Tuesdays 9:00 - 10:00)
A 16-year-old boy has just landed his dream job of being a batboy for the fictional New York Empires baseball team. Not only does he have to deal with bats and the putting away of bats, but also a mean head batboy that could spell trouble for him. Starring Jeremy Sumpter as the batboy, Dean Cain as captain of the Empires, and Christopher Lloyd as his boss.
Post-season Outcome: I guess people would just rather watch the real thing.Lost (ABC, Wednesdays 8:00 - 9:00)
From the creator of Alias comes this tale of 48 people stranded on a remote island after their plane crashes. Watch as they try to stay alive and not eat each other. Well, maybe that could happen…after all, there are 48 people, and that's a lot for a 30-second credits spot. Starring Evangeline Lilly, Ian Somerhalder, and Dominic Monaghan.
Post-season Outcome: After a sea of disappointments (pun intended), this show proves that good writing and captivating storylines trump star power any day.Life As We Know It (ABC, Thursdays 9:00 - 10:00)
Based on Melvin Burgess' coming-of-age novel, "Life As We Know It" centers around three teenaged boys who are trying to come to terms with growing up. There's a jock, there's an artist, and there's a straight-A student. All different, and yet more alike than they will ever know. Credits go to the creators of "Freak and Geeks" and "Just Shoot Me." Let's hope there isn't a David Spade cameo in the works. Starring Sean Faris, Jon Foster, and Christopher Lowell.
Post-season Outcome: I think this is the show that also starred Kelly Osbourne, and in the one episode I saw, one of the guys was trying to get in her pants. Needless to say, we'll have to come to our own conclusions since the show was cancelled mid-season.
[ More dramas, reality shows, and summer relief. Part II of our preview. ]