HOME       ABOUT US       CONTACT      THE VAULT       FAQ      SITE MAP      SEARCH

Turn It On:

---

What's new this fall...

Intrigue and drama abound in this WB drama. Although you can't see him in this picture, Oliver Hudson is pretty hot.

The Mountain (WB, Thursdays 8:00 - 9:00)
Producer McG (Charlie's Angels) delivers a family saga about the Carvers, who show us that just because you're rich and run a ski resort on Boundary Mountain doesn't mean that you're going to be happy. When David Carvey Sr. passes away and leaves David Carver Jr., his hot but absent son, the resort, it doesn't sit well with his family. Starring Kate Hudson's brother - Oliver Hudson, Barbara Hershey, and Anson Mount.
Post-season Outcome: So fantasticall bad that no one noticed when it was nixed.

Jack and Bobby (WB, Sundays 9:00 - 10:00)
Jack and Bobby is about two brothers, Jack and Bobby, who are raised by their eccentric mother. But one of them is bound to be the future president of the United States. Told in flashbacks, we will get a glimpse of the president's unconventional upbringing. Starring Christine Lahti, Corgan Lorman, and Matt Long.
Post-season Outcome: Although I didn't watch this show (surprising, considering I watch just about anything), I am going to venture a guess that this show was allowed to air one full season. But it was eventually dropped by the WB because of poor ratings.

If you do want an hour long drama that is about David E. Kelley…
The Practice: Fleet Street (ABC, Sundays 10:00 - 11:00)
Now that "The Practice" has taken its final, long overdue breath, it makes perfect sense that viewers can't wait to see its spin-off, starring none of the original cast from "The Practice" but still found in its usual timeslot. Last season replacements James Spader and William Shatner (who were unable to breathe new life into the sagging show) get first billing as ruthless, unconventional but very passionate civil litigators.
Post-season Outcome: This show has succeeded my expectations and even won James Spader an Emmy. Oh, and it's now called "Boston Legal."

If you're into Kelsey Grammer, and who isn't…
Kelsey Grammer Presents: The Sketch Show (FOX, Sundays 7:00 - 7:30)
The ex-"Frasier" star doesn't have much time to recuperate from his long-running show as his production company, Grammnet Productions, picks up this UK sketch show. This show is ADD-friendly: expect up to thirty sketches per half hour show.
Post-season Outcome: Wow, did this show ever suck. And Grammer is horrible at sketch comedy. Lasted as long as "Cedric the Entertainer Presents."

If you need your reality show, er, "unscripted drama," fix…
The Contender (NBC, Tuesdays 8:00 - 9:00)
Just one of many one-worded descriptively titled reality shows, "The Contender" will be brought to you by Mark Burnett (watch for this name, it will pop up way more than you want it to) and will star Sylvester Stallone as the new, buffed-up Donald Trump. Stallone will be in search of the best boxer among 16 amateurs, who will then have a shot at…something worth all this pain, I suppose. Also possibly starring Sugar Ray Leonard.
Post-season Outcome: I had to look this up, but someone named Sergio won. Unfortunately, this will probably be the last we see of him, or the show.

Gimme, gimme, gimme.

The Benefactor (ABC, Mondays 8:00 - 9:00)
Mark Cuban, the owner of the Dallas Mavericks, wants to give away $1 million to someone who deserves it. How will he find this person? 16 people who didn't make it on "The Apprentice" will compete for a shot at the prize by enduring tests of character, intelligence, heart, and shamelessness.
Post-season Outcome: I also had to look this up, but congratulations to Femia, whoever you are! Poor ratings and lack of interest will probably not bring this show back for another season.

Wife Swap (ABC, Wednesdays 10:00 - 11:00)
The popular U.K. show is making its way to America, and we all say, "I've never heard of this supposedly popular show." But anyway, two women swap households for ten days and must abide by the house's daily routine for five days. For the remainder of their term, they can then turn the tables around and run the household as they see fit.
Post-season Outcome: This show continues to live, but its schedule changes are so erratic that it probably won't be around for much longer.

The Billionaire: Branson's Quest for The Best (FOX, Tuesdays 8:00 - 9:00)
Bunim-Murray Productions, the team that brought us "The Simple Life" and "The Real World", enlist in the help of millionaire - nay, billionaire - Branson to give away some of his money (probably pocket change and a tax write-off for him). He will take contestants on a journey around the world as he seeks the "best" person to get his cash. How did Branson get so rich? You bet it wasn't from starring in reality shows. He is the founder and Chairman of the Virgin Group of Companies.
Post-season Outcome: In his quest to be the kookiest millionaire in the world, Branson managed to look a little crazy and also alienate the television viewing audience. What made it worse was that the challenges were off-beat, and rarely made sense within the context of finding the "best" person - whatever that may mean.

The Next Great Champ (FOX, Fridays 8:00 - 9:00)
Oscar de la Hoya retires his boxing gloves and microphone long enough to star in this reality show not unlike Sylvester Stallone's "The Contender." The winner of this grueling competition will get a shot at a professional contract with de la Hoya's group, Golden Boys Promotions. Since this is FOX, there has to be a catch, and there is - the cornerman will be someone from the contestant's life, whether it be a family member, co-worker, or significant other.
Post-season Outcome: Another boxing show that didn't do well, despite the big names attached. And the family member in the corner did little to make the show exciting, although it was fun to watch the girlfriends duke it out while their men were in the ring.

What if you can't wait for the fall season to start?
Here are a few original summer shows that may tie you over:

The 2004 Summer Olympics (NBC)
Well, it was time. Live from Athens, Greece, NBC will have all the round-the-clock coverage. Great at 3:00 in the morning, when you can't sleep. Or you can play the new Olympics drinking game: one shot of Tequila for every athlete that gets caught taking illegal, performance-enhancing drugs.

Who will be the next action star? Do we really care?

The Next Action Star (NBC, Tuesday 8:00 - 9:00)
14 hopefuls compete for the chance to star in a Joel Silver film. Joel Silver, for those of you who were wondering, was the producer on gems like Cradle 2 The Grave, Gothika, and the upcoming Alien vs. Predator (he also served as producer for The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions). Only two will win the coveted spot in Silver's first network television film, also set to air this summer on NBC.
Post-season Outcome: Congratulations to Corinne, who originally hails from Canada, and Sean, for winning "The Contender" and going on to do...stuff, I suppose. The television movie aired, but much like the show, no one really cared.

For Love or Money (NBC, Mondays 9:00 - 10:00)
16 women vie for the attention of one man in this returning reality show. This time around, they could be worth $1 million or $1. I would definitely go with the latter and pocket the change.
Post-season Outcome: "For Love or Money" seems like one of those shows that you could have sworn was cancelled, and yet continues to come back every so often. Hopefully this will be the last time NBC ressurects the show. And I still don't get the envelope system, although it's probably very simple and kind of dumb.

North Shore (FOX, Mondays 8:00 - 9:00)
In Hawaii, everything is possible. And at one of its finest resorts, the Grand Waimea Hotel, old flames will be rekindled, new passions will arise, and FOX will have something to air until better shows come along. Starring Kristoffer Polaha and Bruce Willis' ex, Brooke Burns.
Post-season Outcome: "North Shore" stuck around for a season, and even hired Shannen Doherty to spice things up. But like most Doherty shows, it too was cancelled despite her notorious off-screen antics.

The Casino (FOX, Mondays 9:00 - 10:00)
Every network wants to own a Mark Burnett reality show, and this fast foods of reality shows has been picked up by none other than FOX. Timothy Poster and Thomas Brietling are two real-life Internet millionaires who hit it big with travelscape.com (which was later purchased by Expedia). What do you do with all this money? If you're Poster or Brietling, you buy the Golden Nugget Las Vegas Hotel and Casino, and try to bring it out of ruin. Good luck.
Post-season Outcome: I'm not sure if this show was meant to be a one-time deal or a repeating show, but either way it failed to provide the sufficient ratings to keep it funded.

Quintuplets (FOX, Wednesdays 8:30 - 9:00)
Andy Richter and Rebecca Creskoff try to stay away from the blink of oblivion by starring in this summer mid-season comedy about a family comprised of 15-year-old quintuplets. There's the popular sister, the shy, nerdy brother, and a whole bunch of other clichés just waiting for a good punch line.
Post-season Outcome: Sadly, this show lasted longer than the better and smarter "Andy Richter Controls the Universe," though not by a whole lot.

"Method & Red" ham it up in this new comedy. If you can't get enough of hardcore rappers turning to acting, tune in to FOX.

Method & Red (FOX, Wednesdays 9:30 - 10:00)
This "fictionalized version" of Method Man and Redman's life takes them to the posh side of New Jersey, Notthingham Estates, where they take care of Method Man's mother and try to get along with their stuffy neighbours. This comedy of errors obviously borrowed a script or two from clean-cut rapper/actor/Jada Pinkett's whipping boy, Will Smith.
Post-season Outcome: There's a posh side to New Jersey? Hmm. Even though FOX tried to give this show a chance, it ultimately bombed with juvenile jokes, uncharismatic leads, and an annoying neighbour-boy who stepped onto the wrong set. Oh, and can we not forget the bikini-clad women who constantly hung out at their pool and cheapened the already borderline skeevy show?

The Jury (FOX, Fridays 9:00 - 10:00)
This courtroom drama is set in New York and follows a trial from start to finish, including the jury deliberations. Not only do people try to get out of jury duty, now they get to watch it for an hour. At the end of the show, the events of the crime will be revealed, proving the jury wrong or right. Starring Billy Burke, model-turned-actress Shalom Harlow, and Barry Levinson.
Post-season Outcome: It seemed like a good concept, but the show suffered from unoriginal plots and cheesy dramatizations of the events. Plus a really bad timeslot.

Summerland (WB, Tuesdays 9:00 - 10:00)
Lori Loughlin stars as a fashion designer living it up in sunny California. But when her sister and brother-in-law are killed in a car accident, she has to take in their children. Think of it as a Raising Helen for the small screen. From producer Aaron Spelling and Lori Loughlin - I guess nowadays you have to produce a show to actually star in it. Also starring Nick Benson, Shaun Chrishan and Messin Dungey.
Post-season Outcome: "Summerland" did okay on the WB, which houses such thrills as "7th Heaven" and "What I Like About You." It did two seasons before retiring. It also spawned Jesse McCartney, so we shouldn't be too thankful.

Don't fret. Some of your favourite shows are coming back this fall:
NBC: Returning are medical shows "Scrubs" and "ER," one of which is very good while the other...not so much. "Fear Factor," "Las Vegas," and "Crossing Jordan" also return for another season. "Law & Order," "Law & Order: SVU," and "Law & Order: Criminal Intent," continue their triumvirate of terror, while "Will & Grace" and "The Apprentice" try to give must-see Thursdays a post-"Friends" boost. "Third Watch" and "American Dreams" also make appearances.
CBS: Staple "CSI" and its hairy cousin, "CSI: Miami", make returns, as does "Survivor: Vanuatu." "Everybody Loves Raymond" readies itself for its last season, while "The King Of Queens" continues to rock. Surprise hit "The Amazing Race" gears up for another season of racing and trechery.
ABC: Sitcoms "My Wife and Kids," "George Lopez," and the terrible "Hope & Faith" are renewed, while senior drama "NYPD Blue" continues to push the boundaries of cop shows. Gory reality show "Extreme Makeover" and the gorier "The Bachelor" will be infiltrating our screens for another year.
FOX: Cash cow "American Idol" is coming back, and so are America's favourite animated family, "The Simpsons." America's second favourite animated family, "King of The Hill," as well as the non-animated "Malcolm in the Middle," flesh out Sunday's line-up. "That '70s Show," and "The Bernie Mac Show" also breathe a sigh of relief. The most fabulous "Arrested Development" gets another lifeline, while the not-so-fabulous "The O.C." will also be returning. Mediocre "Tru Calling" will have you scratching your head in its sophomore season.
WB: The most awesomely bad television show in the world, "7th Heaven," is renewed, and the underrated "Everwood," which is about a gazillion times better than the aforementioned, will also be coming back. "What I Like About You," "Reba," and "Grounded for Life," which I've always thought was cancelled, are in for another season. "Smallville," which has the baldest villain ever, and sophomore teen drama "One Tree Hill" are in. And "Charmed," now with 100% less Shannen Doherty, casts another spell upon us this season.

[ Comedies, spin-offs, and "Commando Nanny." Part I of our preview. ]