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Who Do You Love:
Celebrity crushes...
I loved the boy in the glossy magazine.
He wasn't the most handsome, or the most articulate at times, nor did he know who I was, but I loved him nonetheless. He was the actor or the musician who touched my soul through his craft, and sent my teenage hormones racing. He was the one looking back at me, with his over-gelled hair and foundation-caked smile. I dreamt of our first date, our first fight (yes, I was being totally realistic about things), our wedding day. I never named our children, though, because I couldn't look that far ahead.
The boy in the glossy magazine was always different. He was the teen actor of the month, someone who was "discovered" quite by accident and cast in a formulaic Hollywood movie about boisterous boy fun and first loves. Or he was a musician, well attuned to his teen angst and answering the call of fate by crafting music. But whoever he was, it was apparent that he had captured my heart.
In the sixth grade it was Joey McIntyre of New Kids on the Block. I didn't lust for him, nor did I love him, but feeling the peer pressures of picking a favourite, I opted for McIntyre because he was the least offensive. That, and he had really pretty eyes. My crush died when their records sales did.
In the ninth grade it was Billie Joe Armstrong of Green Day. He was angry, bitter, and rude. He played the guitar and wrote songs about alienation, sadness, and pain. I ran out and bought Dookie, and subsequently Insomniac. I coveted any pictures, information, and gossip I could find. I was devastated when I learned he had gotten married. I went to their concert in the hopes that he would look up, see me, and fall in love - which was a very difficult feat since I sat in the nosebleed section. I crushed on a boy in high school because he reminded me of Billie Joe. And then I got over them.
In the tenth grade it was Jordan Catalano of "My-So Called Life." I thought the actor, Jared Leto, was cute as a button, but it was his character that I wanted. Jordan was a bimbo from the get-go, but as the show progressed, he turned out to be as complex as anyone else on the show. I wanted my own Jordan Catalano, but the boys in high school didn't like to lean on lockers pensively or have less than five-minute conversations with me. They all seemed pretty chatty most of the time, which was not Jordan-ish at all. Yes, I did want Angela to get together with Jordan. But most of all, I wanted Jordan to get together with me.
After that phase of my life, crushing on celebrities didn't seem as important as it once used to be. But I still hold those crushes dear to me, and I wouldn't be opposed to hooking up with some of them. The boy in the glossy magazine was someone I once loved and let go. It's all part of growing up. ¤ C.Ho.