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Girl Fight:
There she go talkin’ her mess…
It seems like nowadays, and everywhere you look, there’s a new feud popping up in the media. Not content with rolling around in mounds of cash, getting exclusive VIP treatment at all the best spots in town, or rubbing shoulders with other beautiful, shiny people, celebrities are increasingly amplifying their wattage by picking fights with their peers. Like a playground scrap, these so-called “beefs” do not amount to anything more than pettiness, and we love every minute of it. Let’s take a look at some of the most recent and memorable girl fights circulating the tabloids. ¤ C.Ho.Avril Lavigne vs. Hilary Duff
Nothing would satisfy us more than seeing Avril Lavigne and Hilary Duff cancel each other out to make room for more talented musicians, but as it stands, their feud only serves to amplify how easily famous people can make a mountain out of a mole hill. It all began with a comment from Duff from what seems like 1987 now, in which she slams Lavigne’s deficient humility and decries her apparent lack of gratitude to fans. Avril struck back, talking smack about Duff in various interviews although, at the time, she admitted that she and Duff had never met. This animosity culminated into a rumoured breakdown at the 2007 Maxim Hot 100 Party, where Lavigne threatened to leave upon learning that she would have to share the same air as Duff. At the 2007 Much Music Video Awards, viewers waited with bated breath to see if the barely legal starlets would end up in a catfight. Sadly, all we got was a tepid performance of “Girlfriend.”
What They Had to Say:
Lavigne in 2004: "I read that I was supposedly mad at my fans for dressing like me. They quoted Hilary Duff saying, 'Avril needs to appreciate her fans more and blah, blah, blah.' Who the hell cares what she has to say about my fans? Whatever. Hilary Duff's such a goody-goody, such a mommy's girl. I’m like, ‘Who are you to talk about me? You should know better. Don’t talk trash with me. You can go screw yourself.”
Duff in 2007: “We’ve had dinners together and I’ve been over to her house, she’s a nice girl. I don’t understand why people are putting us against each other…there’s nothing going on between us."
Winner: There’s no clear winner here but it’s clear that Lavigne is by far the bigger bully of the two. Duff gets obvious points for keeping things passive-aggressive and never hitting below the belt.Tyra Banks vs. Naomi Campbell
This legendary feud has been around since the dawn of time, so Tyra Banks has had plenty of time to gripe about her model rival, Naomi Campbell. Here’s a culled Reader’s Digest version of why Banks thinks Campbell sucks, as told by Banks in various interviews and media clips: "I was tired of constantly hearing that I got cancelled from this job or that, or hearing that this photographer was called, or that magazine was called and [told] not to use me. The press had cast Naomi and me as rivals before we ever met each other. Back then there were ten top models…but there was an unwritten rule that only one of them could be black…and Naomi was that one black girl." Not content with only passively slamming Campbell on her hit reality show, “America’s Next Top Model,” Banks invited Campbell on her talk show to clear the air, accusing Campbell of using her clout to make Banks’ life miserable, and recounting a very “Dallas”-inspired moment when Campbell allegedly spat, “You'll never be me, don't ever think that you'll be me." By the end of the edited hour segment, Banks had been moved to tears by Campbell’s half-assed admission of possibly doing something all those fourteen years ago, and the women ended their feud.
What They Had to Say:
Banks in 2005: “I was very seasick on that boat…and you came and you sat down next to me…and you're like, ‘Sweetie, are you OK?' Then you said, ‘I have to ask you something. Do they try to make you look like me?' I said, ‘I don't know about so much now but, in L.A., yeah, they really do, with the short black wigs,' and you got up, pushed me away and said, 'I thought so!' You turned. You went from the sweetest woman who was giving me vitamins to someone that terrified me on that trip. I was told on that trip I was sent home because you didn't want me there anymore."
Campbell in 2005: "I said that? I know the person that I am and I'm not someone to go and give myself away and say that to anybody, I've never said that in my life. But if that's what you remember, I accept that, but it doesn't sound like me."
Winner: Campbell may be the better model, but her documented temper shifts all the sympathy onto Banks. Plus, Banks’ eerie obsession with Campbell spells television ratings for her talk show.Paris Hilton vs. Nicole Richie
In 2005, it came to light that Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, childhood best friends, had called it quits on their friendship. Shortly after, reports of the two avoiding each other at famed haunts began to surface. Speculation as to why the two harebrained friends ended their capricious relationship ranged from the mundane (they had outgrown each other) to the typical (Richie had grown jealous of Hilton’s fame) to the juicy (Richie had played Hilton’s infamous sex tape at a party that they were both attending). Whatever may have started this feud, it’s clear that the size 0 heiresses had played it for maximum exposure.
What They Had to Say:
Hilton in 2005: "It's no big secret that Nicole and I are no longer friends. I will not go into the details of what happened. All I will say is that Nicole knows what she did, and that's all I am ever going to say about it."
Richie in 2005: "[We] just grew apart, we're not friends. I know that Paris loves to talk about it and that stuff, but that's just not my style."
Winner: Apart, both girls earned their own fifteen minutes of fame: Hilton, by playing the Bad Molly to Britney Spears’ Good Girl and then landing herself in jail, and Richie, for losing half of her body mass in ten days. It seems that the only casualty of the broken friendship was the fate of “The Simple Life,” which doesn’t really matter anymore since FOX dropped the show like a hot potato. Still, it’s clear that Richie is only trying to play catch up with Hilton – not only did she lose enough weight to rival Hilton’s skeletal frame, but she is now facing jail time, a pain Hilton knows all too well.Cameron Diaz vs. Jessica Biel
After a high-profile split that saw four years of dating go down the tube, newly anointed bachelor Justin Timberlake wasted no time in courting Jessica Biel, star of such caliber projects like “7th Heaven” and Blade: Trinity. After this year’s Golden Globes, tongues started wagging about Cameron Diaz’s jealous confrontation with Biel at the In Style after-party (wait, Jessica Biel was invited?). Months later, the same sources would pit the two at the MTV Movie Awards, though the fisticuffs were kept to a minimum as the two stars managed to avoid each other.
What They Had to Say:
Diaz in 2007: "I think what you want is for the person that you care about to be happy. And I think we both are, so it's easy for us to see each other.”
Biel in 2007: “[I’m] going to kick her ass.” Of course, she was referring to the person who is allegedly spreading rumours about her sexuality – which could very well be Cameron Diaz.
Winner: Neither woman, if Justin Timberlake is to be held as the ultimate prize. But in terms of star wattage and getting her own way, Diaz has the upper hand.Tori Spelling vs. Mary Jo Eustace
In case you didn’t know, Tori Spelling is a home wrecker (and a bad actress to boot). The drama all started when Spelling worked on a made-for-television film with Canadian actor Dean “the who-now?” McDermott, and fell in love. Unfortunately, McDermott was still married to cooking host Mary Jo Eustace, who kept many a-people from going hungry with her quirky cooking show, “What’s For Dinner?” When McDermott returned from the shoot ready for a divorce, the gloves came off. Eustace was quite candid about the dissolution of her marriage, while Spelling took to public digs at the television chef. To add further insult to injury, Spelling and McDermott married, became parents, and starred in a reality television show in the span of six months.
What They Had to Say:
Spelling in 2006: “[Canadians] are a lot nicer and they have nasty ex-wives who write tell-all books. What more could a girl ask for?”
Eustace in 2007: "She has dissed me about my age, my fertility and my appearance. It brought me to my knees but it made me a better person and a lot of good things came from that."
Winner: To some, the jilted Eustace may come off as melodramatic as Jennifer Aniston, but there’s no denying that being dumped – especially for Tori Spelling – has got to hurt. Spelling got her man at the end, but Eustace gets to walk away with all the dignity (she opted out of writing a tell-all book for now, and has instead added a story for the anthology The Other Woman instead). Plus, even with our without the scandals, Spelling just kind of sucks.Beyoncé vs. Rihanna
Although these two divas – one established, one up-and-coming – haven’t shared any outward animosity towards one another, the rapidly spreading rumours that Jay-Z was contemplating trading in one model for another had tongues wagging about a possible coup. Rihanna, who is signed with Jay-Z’s Def Jam Records, has been working closely with the music mogul, who has recently appeared in her hit song “Umbrella.” On the other hand, Jay-Z’s last attempt at boosting his girlfriend’s sales (ahem, “Déjà Vu”) fell short of flat. It doesn’t alleviate suspicions when Jay-Z is quoted in Entertainment Weekly as fawning over Rihanna, saying of the young artist: “She's found her voice. That's the best thing for any label - to have an artist step in and take control of their own career. She's left the nest.'' Makes you wonder what he might have to say about Beyoncé’s decidedly mediocre album, B’Day.
What They Had to Say:
Beyoncé in “Ring the Alarm”: “She gon' be rockin' chinchilla coats, if I let you go…getting the house off the coast…she gon' take everything I own…she gon' rock them VVS stones…couped in the 'bach or the Rolls…she gon' profit everything I taught.”
Rihanna in “Unfaithful”: “Story of my life, searching for the right, but it keeps avoiding me. Sorrow in my soul, ‘cause it seems that wrong, really loves my company.”
Winner: Rihanna may be younger, taller, and making oodles of money for Def Jam, but Beyoncé has already paid her dues. And let’s not forget: she’s Beyoncé. Jay-Z would be a fool to let her go.Joss Stone vs. Christina Milian
It seems that Beau Dozier is the man of the hour, even though he’s hardly a household name. A search on Google for the music producer yields very little about the man but includes numerous articles about his love affair with nineteen-year-old Joss Stone, which ended sometime in 2006. But when it comes to dating Stone, small details like what year you broke up or who you dated seven years ago don’t seem to matter. Stone, still smarting over the break up, concentrated her anger on crafting her music and occasionally taking digs at Christina Milian, who reportedly dated Dozier almost a decade ago. Stone’s resentment culminated in a magazine article where the singer wasted no time in expressing her disdain with Milian. Probably realizing how flippant and catty she was, Stone would later express regret for her tirade by blaming an unnamed source for leading her to believe that Milian had been the one to start the feud.
What They Had to Say:
Stone in 2007: After I point to my tape recorder, reminding her that she’s on record, Stone doesn’t quit. Instead, she continues to go off on Milian and, even worse, Milian’s mother. “I’m just honest,” Stone concludes with a shrug.
Milian in 2007: “Christina has never met Joss,” Milan’s publicist responds. “She can’t imagine what this is all about.”
Winner: In a follow-up interview, Stone had this to say about her outburst: “The person who told me [that Milian started the trash talk] is a complete wanker. I did feel bad, so I called Christina to say sorry, and she was so sweet about forgiving me. She understood. Sometimes, I get a little too honest about how I feel. If I'm in the wrong, I'm the first to say I'm wrong. I deserve a punch for it, to be honest." Sure, Stone may have the voice, but Milian’s cool tight-lipped response keeps her classier than her ex’s ex.Lily Allen vs. Amy Winehouse
Oh, those scampy Brits! It seems like the old adage, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” may not apply to some – especially those who are emerging British pop stars. Former friends Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse came to blows this year when Winehouse replaced Allen as a performer at the 2007 Brit Awards, and subsequently went on to score the Best Female Performer award that night. Allen, known for her uncensored opinions on everything from the state of world affairs to Paris Hilton (“People like her are useless…why doesn't she do something worthwhile, like work for the UN? She's hideously untalented…"), is often at the firing end of an ill-placed quote. But has she finally met her match? Allen was reportedly seething at the outcome of the Brit Awards and confronted Winehouse at an after party, where she allegedly engaged in a screaming match with the volatile bee-hived songstress. In the morning, Allen was spotted leaving her hotel in tears, apparently distraught over last night’s events. The girls have supposedly kissed and made up, but for how long is anyone’s guess.
What They Had to Say:
Allen in 2007: “I think [Winehouse] has a cool voice. I don’t think it’s her real voice, though, I’d like to hear that.”
Winner: Although Winehouse is hardly an angel, this musical feud seems to be solely planted in Allen’s less-than-stable head. "Me and the Winehouse have made up," Allen reportedly said at the South by Southwest festival in Austin, Texas, later this year. “We're now lesbian lovers." She then went on to crudely parody Winehouse on the British skit show, “Friday Night Project,” as all lesbian lovers are wont to do.