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Quickie Reviews:
A rundown of the best and worst in 2003...
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Released: February 7
Gross to Date: $105.8 million
A cure romantic comedy will get you everywhere this year, if a cool $105 million is any indication. Benjamin Barry (Matthew McConaughey), an advertising executive, bets that he make any woman fall in love with him in just ten days to win a campaign. Meanwhile, Andie Anderson (Kate Hudson) is a magazine writer assigned to write an article on how to lose a guy in - you guessed it - ten days. That crazy thing called Fate steps in, and they meet at a bar shortly after Benjamin makes his bet. Is it worthy of your $5 in rental? If you're looking for some laughs and a happy ending, you bet it is.
Rating: *** out of 5Shanghai Knights
Released: February 7
Gross to Date: $60.4 million
The comedic team of Owen Wilson and Jackie Chan are back again, this time taking their shtick to England. Watch for historic cameos by Artie Doyle (the mastermind behind Sherlock Holmes), Charlie Chaplin, and Jack the Ripper. Still action-packed, but with less laughs than Shanghai Noon (2000).
Rating: ** out of 5The Life of David Gale
Released: February 21
Gross to Date: $19.6 million
Poor David Gale (played by a sad, sad Kevin Spacey). He's an Ivy League professor and human rights activist that just can't catch a break. When one of his fellow activists is found murdered, all signs point to him. Enter Bitsey Bloom (Kate Winslet), a hard-nosed journalist sent to interview him in his last days on death row. Great performances by Kevin Spacey and Laura Linney, but one suspects that Winslet is better suited as an English debutante in Titanic than as an American journalist in David Gale. Watch for several twist endings.
Rating: ***1/2 out of 5Irr?versible
Released: March 8
Gross to Date: $792,000
French director and writer Gasper No? has spun a tale of the human condition so dark, twisted, and horrifying that you'll be shuddering in your seat the whole time, and have to wash the taste out of your mouth afterwards. Told in backward clips (? la Memento), the story explores the repercussions a rape has on a young woman, her boyfriend, and her ex-husband. Extreme violence, language, and some nudity. Subtitled. Not for the faint of heart.
Rating: *** out of 5Bend It Like Beckham
Released: March 12
Gross to Date: $32.5 million
This is a lighthearted comedy about an Indian English girl who wants to play soccer against her strict parents' wishes. Although she is obviously talented, her parents would rather she concentrate on her studies and learn how to cook. Cute performances by Parminder K. Nagra, Keira Knightley, and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers (who, in my opinion, is worth the rental eye candy). Watch out for the obvious soccer-playing lesbian jokes.
Rating: **** out of 5Bulletproof Monk
Released: April 15
Gross to Date: $23 million
Chow Yun Fat is an amazing actor in his own right, but in this movie his performance is forced at best - perhaps because even he knew that the dialogue was cheesy and stilted. The action is passable, and the laughs are predictable. Even Stifler can't save this one.
Rating: *1/2 out of 5X2: X-Men United
Released: May 2
Gross to Date: $214.9 million
The gang is back in this action-packed sequel to the first X-Men movie. This time around, Magneto joins the X-Men in a crusade against evil William Stryker, the man behind Wolverine's adementium skeleton. A good complement for the first movie, and a cliffhanger that sets up the next one nicely. Watch it for the great special effects, and a kick ass fight scene between Yuriko Oyama (Kelly Hu) and Wolverine (Hugh Jackman).
Rating: ***1/2 out of 5The Matrix Reloaded
Released: May 15
Gross to Date: $281.5 million
This movie picks up where the original Matrix left off, and finds Neo, Trinity, and Morpheus fighting against time to save Zion from the machines. A little boring and at times drawn out, Reloaded's sole purpose is to remind us that Neo is The One, Trinity lurves him, Agent Smith is evil, and the machines are coming. Limited entertainment all around.
Rating: **1/2 out of 5The Italian Job
Released: May 30
Gross to Date: $106.1 million
Surprisingly entertaining, this remake of The Italian Job (1969) pits Mark Wahlberg against a goateed Edward Norton in a sleek, technologically enhanced cat-and-mouse game. When a team of thieves is double-crossed by their own, they plan to seek revenge by pulling the biggest heist of their lives. Great supporting performances by Jason Stratham, Mos Def, Seth Green, and Charlize Theron. Yes, even Charlize Theron.
Rating: **** out of 5Finding Nemo
Released: May 30
Gross to Date: $339.7 million
A little Pixar movie with a big heart (and an even bigger pay cheque), Finding Nemo is all about finding Nemo, a baby clownfish that loses his way and somehow ends up in a fish tank. It's up to Marlin, his father, and an unlikely bunch of other heroes, to get Nemo back home. Somewhat predictable but nevertheless enjoyable. Fun for the whole family.
Rating: **** out of 5Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle
Released: June 27
Gross to Date: $100.8 million
In the summer of sequels, the latest installment of Charlie's Angels finds Natalie, Dylan and Alex go head-to-head with the evil Madison Lee (Demi Moore), an ex-angel who thinks that doing crime is better than battling it. Expect the usual gratuitous money shots, the amusing one-liners, the choreographed fight scenes, and tons of campiness. A fun follow-up to the original.
Rating: ***1/2 out of 5Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde
Released: July 2
Gross to Date: $90.6 million
In yet another cutesy summer sequel, our heroine, Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon), is fresh out of Harvard and working at one of the top law firms in the country. When she finds out that her dog's mother is held captive at a cosmetics testing lab, she goes to Washington to pass a bill to ban animal testing. Like the first one, surprisingly refreshing and funny, and a great performance by Reese Witherspoon, who looks like she's having fun the whole time. Two snaps for Legally Blonde 2.
Rating: ***1/2 out of 5The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Released: July 11
Gross to Date: $66.4 million
As if X-Men wasn't enough, we have yet another movie about a bunch of mismatched heroes with extraordinary talents trying to stop someone from taking over the world, or destroying it, or whatever it is that evil villains want to do. This time, we've got Allan Quatermain, Captain Nemo, Mina Harker, The Invisible Man, Dorian Gray, Tom Sawyer, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (who looks a lot like a poor man's The Hulk), and a handful more fictional characters gleamed from adventure, science fiction, and horror movies. Kudos to Sean Connery for being so agile in his old age, but no glory for the plot, dialogue, and waste of talent in an otherwise capable cast.
Rating: ** out of 5Bad Boys II
Released: July 18
Gross to Date: $138.5 million
A whopping eight years later, Michael Bay reunites with Will Smith and Martin Lawrence to produce one of the most soulless sequels this summer. An action-packed car chase scene, a bit of chemistry, and a bullet in the ass might sell tickets, but it does little for character development. See Marcus (Lawrence) have a work-related breakdown, see Mike (Smith) woo the ladies, see Marcus have another breakdown, see the boss give them a hard time for all their shenanigans, see them catch the bad guys in a slow-motion no-holds barred gun down - basically, an extended and more expensive version of the first Bad Boys. It's rental-worthy, if only for the not-at-all-scary and caricatured villain.
Rating: **1/2 out of 5Johnny English
Released: July 18
Gross to Date: $28 million
An underrated Rowan Atkinson reprises the role he made famous in British credit card commercials and bumbles his way into saving England. Lots of sight gags but few laughs. Overall, disappointing effort by a man who can make you giggle without saying a word.
Rating: ** out of 5Lara Croft: Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life
Released: July 25
Gross to Date: $65.6 million
Angelina Jolie and her lips are back as Lara Croft, an archeologist by day and femme fatale by night. When Pandora's Box falls into the wrong hands, Lara sets out to retrieve it before it ends the world. Not having seen the first movie, I can't compare it to much, but I will ask: was it really necessary to punch that shark? If you're looking for action and a hot star, then rent Tomb Raider.
Rating: *** out of 5American Wedding
Released: August 1
Gross to Date: $104.3 million
Those crazy kids are back for Jim and Michelle's wedding, which, if you've seen the trailers or watch movies in general, doesn't go as well as planned. It's packed with more sight gags, gross humour, and Stifler being Stifler (but more obnoxiously so). If you're curious, the DVD includes extra footage of Jim's "haircut."
Rating: *** out of 5S.W.A.T.
Released: August 8
Gross to Date: $116.8 million
Colin Farrell first appeared in our hearts in the critically acclaimed Tigerland, and quickly became an overnight sensation - which is odd, considering that none of his movies have been blockbusters (the closest coming to that being Minority Report, where he was trumped by Mr. Cruise's star power). Anyway, the remake of S.W.A.T. is exactly what you'd expect, so if you have high expectations, skip this one.
Rating: **1/2 out of 5The Medallion
Released: August 22
Gross to Date: $22.1 million
No one ever watches Jackie Chan movies for the plot (or acting, even) but his latest effort, The Medallion, leaves a lot to be desired. There's still Chan's flavour in the action, but everything else falls flat. And Julian Sands is perhaps the most laughable villain ever.
Rating: 1.5 out of 5Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Released: September 12
Gross to Date: $56.2 million
This follow up to Desperado finds hitman El Mariachi (Antonio Banderas, as smoldering and conflicted as ever) entangled in an assassination plot while trying to seek revenge on the man that killed his wife. Johnny Depp is also in top form playing a corrupt CIA agent. Salma Hayek reprises her role as Carolina, but blink and she's gone. Unfortunately, you can't blink away Enrique Iglesias.
Rating: ***1/2 out of 5Underworld
Released: September 19
Gross to Date: $51.4 million
Underworld asks: if vampires and werewolves co-existed, would they be friends? And answers it in the first five minutes of the movie, as we get to watch the vampires and werewolves take each other out on a crowded subway platform. You have your usual girl vampire meets boy werewolf (well, technically he was turned into one), falls in love, and is forbidden to date him because of the century-old feud between the two. Good action and good performances, although the special effects could have been better. Scott Speedman is a man of a few words, and for the eye candy factor we are glad.
Rating: *** out of 5Kill Bill: Volume I
Released: October 10
Gross to Date: $69.4 million
The best word to describe Kill Bill is "gory." Quentin Tarantino spares no blood as The Bride (played by the charming Uma Thurman) seeks revenge on those who tried to kill her years ago. A great homage to the kung fu movies of yesteryear, and although a tad long, keeps your interest all the way.
Rating: ***** out of 5Scary Movie 3
Released: October 24
Gross to Date: $109 million
Is there a reason why the Wayans brothers didn't return to the helm? Although there are tons of cameos (Pamela Anderson, Jenny McCarthy, Queen Latifah, Leslie Nielsen, and Ja Rule to name a few) and the usual gross-out (non)humour, the third movie proves that the franchise should be put to rest once and for all.
Rating: **1/2 out of 5The Matrix Revolutions
Released: November 5
Gross to Date: $138.9 million
Finally, Neo, Trinity, Morpheus et al. get to seal the fate of Zion. The movie picks up right where The Matrix Reloaded left off, and we progress to the anticlimax that they call the "end." The action gets old pretty fast, and as Neo and Agent Smith face off you get a sense that it's been done before. You want me to say something good? The special effects are still excellent.
Rating: ***1/2 out of 5Love Actually
Released: November 7
Gross to Date: $58.8 million
If you're looking for a good holiday movie, this is it. If you've seen Four Weddings and a Funeral, Notting Hill, and Bridget Jones' Diary, all written by Richard Curtis, then you know what you're in for. And I mean a treat - you're in for at treat. Although at times predictable and sappy, it will have you leaving the theater wanting to hug anyone in sight.
Rating: **** out of 5The Last Samurai
Released: December 5
Gross to Date: $105.5 million
I have to admit, I don't like Tom Cruise, but I did like The Last Samurai. Cruise is a capable actor, and backed up by a strong supporting cast (especially Ken Watanabe as Katsumomo), he shines as Nathan Algreen, a captain who has fallen from grace. When he is enlisted in helping the Japanese army rid Japan of its samurais, Algreen begins to have a change of heart about who the real enemy is. Thought-provoking, beautiful, and touching, The Last Samurai should (and I hate to admit it) garner Tom Cruise a best actor nod at the Oscars. [Added after nominations came out: Oops, I was wrong.]
Rating: **** out of 5Honey
Released: December 5
Gross to Date: $29.8 million
Why, oh why did Shawn Desman have a cameo in this movie? Even though it was shot in Toronto, that doesn't mean that anybody can walk off the street and land a role. Well, maybe it was cheaper this way. Anyhow, Jessica Alba is a dancer with big dreams and an even bigger heart. Will she trade her soul for a chance of a lifetime? You figure it out. Cameos by Missy Elliott, Ginuwine, and Jadakiss. Lots of dancing does not equal lots of fun. And Lil' Romeo is little.
Rating: **1/2 out of 5Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Released: December 17
Gross to Date: $337.8 million
The anticipation was enough to kill anyone. But finally, the movie was released and at this time (weeks later) still continues to dominate the box office. Can Frodo and Sam get the titular ring to Mount Doom in time? Will Aragorn and Gandalf be able to save Middle Earth from Sauron? And since when are hobbits Irish? A great movie with grandiose cinematography, stellar cast, and the cutest bow-and-arrow wielding elf ever. On the other hand, three and a half hours. I repeat, three and a half hours.
Rating: ****1/2 out of 5 (sorry, half point lost on the fact that my ass was numb after the movie, and the floor was all sticky)Mona Lisa Smile
Released: December 19
Gross to Date: $62.3 million
Although Julia Roberts is an A-list actress and therefore never typecast, there are certain roles she was born to play, and Katherine Watson is one of them. A strong-willed and liberal teacher, she comes to an Ivy League school ready to educate its young women in more than just art history. Watch for a strong performance by Maggie Gyllenhal (previously of Secretary fame), whose charisma shines in every scene she graces. Admittedly a chick flick, but don't be afraid to bring your sensitive guy pal with you.
Rating: **** out of 5Psst: Box office gross is domestic only. Happy movie-watching! ¤ C.Ho.