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Retro Movies:
A theatrical trip down memory lane...
The Star Wars Trilogy (1977, 1980, 1983)
Directed by: George "Billionaire Geek Extraordinaire" Lucas
Starring: Mark "May The Force Be With You" Hamill, Harrison "Han Sexy Solo" Ford, Carrie "Buy My Biography" Fisher, Alec "The Original Obi-Wan" Guiness, James Earl "My Voice Is Known Around the World" Jones
Fun Fact: Intergalactic renegade Han Solo is modeled after The Godfather director Francis Ford Coppola.
Box Office Gross: Over $1 billion (total for all three)
The original Star Wars, which takes place long after Padmé and Anakin get together, follows the journey of Luke Skywalker as he tries to battle the forces of evil and discover his true identity as a Jedi Knight. Yoda, Princess Leia, Chewbacca, Han Solo and gang became icons in the pop culture world, and revolutionized epic movies forever. Millions of sci-fi fans finally had something to share with the mainstream world (not that sci-fi couldn't be mainstream, of course). The movie and its sequels went on to break box-office records and made George Lucas a very rich man. To this day, Star Wars stands as a phenomenon untouched by any other. And who could forget those cuddly Ewoks?Grease (1978)
Directed by: Randal "Honey, I Blew Up The Kid" Kleiser
Starring: John "Not A Crazy Scientologist Like Some People" Travolta, Olivia "Songbird" Newton-John, Stockard "Even With a Bad Perm I Still Rock" Channing, Didi "That's Actually My Real Voice" Conn
Fun Fact: Do these supposed teenagers look a little...aged? That's because, during shooting, John Travalta was 24, Did Conn was 28, Olivia Newton-John was 29, and Stockard Channing was the eldest at 34.
Box Office Gross: $181 million
The fact that the actors broke into song and dance at a moment's notice had me hooked. So John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John looked way too old to be high school students. So it was a totally sexist thing to have Olivia change herself to be accepted by John Travolta's friends. So the "cool" kids didn't seem that cool. Grease was a pile of rompin' fun regardless of its predictable storyline or lack of engaging dialogue (i.e., "Tell me about it, stud?"). Come on, sing it with me. I know you want to.Friday the 13th (1980)
Directed by: Sean S. "I Do It To Get By" Cunningham
Starring: Kevin "I've Gone On To Do Other Things" Bacon, Betsy "I Fooled 'Em Till the End" Palmer, and a whole bunch of other people who don't really act anymore
Fun Fact: Rumour has it that Betsy Palmer, who plays the maniacal Mrs. Voorhees, was hired because she was willing to drive her own car to and from location.
Box Office Gross: $39.7 million
Was it a curse or a blessing that this movie revitalized the teen-slasher genre? For many, this was a curse, but for the franchise, which went on to earn millions, it was more like a blessing. Jason Voorhees, the poor boy who drowned in a lake and couldn't get over it, became the subject of ten movies, which last left off with Jason in space. This movie had it all - the twisted killer who had to be all fancy and creative with his attacks, the hapless teens who did nothing but drink and have sex, and the nubile heroine who somehow managed to stay a virgin and off the bad guy. Every movie cliché had to have a start somewhere, and the horror genre found it with Friday the 13th.Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)
Directed by: Amy "Look Who's Talking and I'm Totally Clueless" Heckerling
Starring: Sean "You Thought I'd End Up Typecast But Look At Me Now" Penn, Jennifer "Teen Pregnancy Sucks" Jason Leigh, Phoebe "You Know I'd Never Get Dumped in Real Life" Cates, Judge "In Real Life I'm a Perv Too" Reinhold
Fun Fact: David Lynch was tapped to direct, but truned it down because it involved no deaths or weird midgets in dream sequences. Cameron Crowe wrote the book and the screenplay.
Box Office Gross: $27 million
No movie could ever encompass high school in the 80s quite like this. Helmed by Amy Heckerling (of Clueless fame) and starring an ensemble cast comprised of Sean Penn, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Judge Reinhold, Phoebe Cates, and Forest Whitaker, Fast Times at Ridgemont High had no discernible plot, but nonetheless conveyed teen angst and confusion with a daft hand. If you haven't seen this movie, I recommend that you rent it. At least the fashion will have you laughing.The Karate Kid (1984)
Directed by: John G. "Yes, There Is a Rocky V and I Directed It" Avildsen
Starring: Ralph "I'm Waiting For A Spot on 'The Surreal Life' To Open Up" Macchio, Pat "That's Not Actually My Real Name" Morita, Elisabeth "I Was In This?" Shue
Fun Fact: The Karate Kid is also the name of a character in DC Comic's "Legion of Superheroes" series. DC allowed the filmmakers to use the trademarked name for their film.
Box Office Gross: $90.8 million
Okay, I never actually saw this movie, but I think I can pretty much guess the plot. Mean bullies are harassing young boy, wise old man takes young boy in and teaches him karate (and confidence), young boy likes girl, young boy kicks the bullies' asses, young boy gets the girl. Ralph Macchio was actually twenty-three when he played young Daniel, but with his youthful looks, easily passes for sixteen. Remember "grasshopper" and "wax on, wax off"? Yeah, those were the days.The Neverending Story (1984)
Directed by: Wolfgang "Forgive Me For Troy" Petersen
Starring: Barret "I Was In Cocoon And Then Never Heard From Again" Oliver, Tami "The Childlike Empress" Stronach, Noah "I Now Teach a Combat Training Course for Flight Attendants and Pilots" Hathaway
Fun Fact: This story is based on the book by Michael Ende, who was so unhappy with the big screen translation that he asked his name to be removed from the credits. You can see a little mention of him at the end of the film.
Box Office Gross: $21 million
This was the first movie I ever saw, and I loved everything about it, from the little dreamer boy to the fantasy world of Fantasia to the flying white dragon. To me this movie was about hope, courage, and perseverance. I never did watch the sequels to this movie, mostly because I was a little older by then and thought movies like these were beyond my jaded grasp. But this movie sticks out in my mind because it reminds me of childhood and innocence lost, something that was so hard and, at the same time, so easy to let go of.Purple Rain (1984)
Directed by: Albert "I Was Replaced on Tango & Cash?!?" Magnoli
Starring: Prince "No Last Name Ever Needed," Apollonia "I Went On To Do Anarchy TV and Am Sadly Billed as The Hot Tub Woman" Kotero, Morris "Remember The Time?" Day
Fun Fact: The film was almost called Dreams, but Prince fought for the name that now sits on our DVD shelves. Also, the sex scene between Prince and Apollonia earned the film an X rating, but with a few strategic edits the rating went down to a racy R.
Box Office Gross: $68.3 million
I almost forgot about this movie until I caught it on cable some nights ago. My first thought was, "People actually thought Prince was a sex symbol?" which was closely followed by, "Why do all the people in his band look like him?" Of course, the year was 1984 and Prince was huge, so a vanity project like this wasn't unusual. Check out the movie for the quasi-mullets, the clothes, and the make-up job on Prince. I must admit though, I got a little teary-eyed when he performed "Purple Rain" and then ran away from the stage like a frightened little boy, only to run back like a happy little boy because he realized that people were cheering and not booing like he thought they would…anyway, where was I was? Ah, yes. If you love the music of the 80's, this movie's for you.Dirty Dancing (1987)
Directed by: Emile "Sister Act, Anyone?" Ardolino
Starring: Jennifer "I Got a Nose Job and Appeared On 'Friends'" Grey, Patrick "I Was Making Such Progress as The Comeback Kid and Then I Had to Go and Sign On To Road House 2" Swayze, Jerry "You Were The Best Thing About 'Law & Order'" Orbach
Fun Fact: Michelle doesn't like this movie. And most of the dance montages, like the scene where Baby keeps laughing as Johnny runs his hands down her arm, are bloopers or improvisations that were too cute to discard.
Box Office Gross: $63.8 million
If you threw a whole bunch of cheese into a big bowl and mixed it around, you'd get Dirty Dancing. Baby (Jennifer Grey), the youngest daughter of a doctor, falls for bad-boy Johnny Castle (Patrick Swayze), who is so bad that he dances. Johnny's dance partner falls prey to the evils of an unwanted pregnancy and a dead-beat father, so Baby takes her place. While learning the routine, Baby and Johnny fall in love, but will they triumph over all their obstacles? Special features of this movie include 80's bad-boy dialogue, a sexy log-dancing scene (who knew you'd have to be the Karate Kid to participate in the talent show?), and a finale that will have you dancing in your seat. Bonus points for including one of my all-time favourite lines: "Nobody puts Baby in the corner!" Try it at parties. It's a hoot.Beaches (1988)
Directed by: Garry "I Surprisingly Do Chick Flicks Very Well" Marshall
Starring: Bette "Even Though My Name Is Known Around the World, I Should Really Stick to Films and Theatre And Not Sitcoms Named 'Bette'" Midler, Barbara "All This Hard Work, Only to Land on 'The Mountain' With Oliver What's-His-Face" Hershey, John "Not To Be Confused With 'Hurt'" Heard, Mayim "Where Am I Now?" Bialik
Fun Fact: The movie's title is gleaned from another popular retro film, The Princess Bride. The touching quote is: "If your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches."
Box Office Gross: $57 million
Did you ever know that you're my hero? No? Well, now you know. Beaches not only produced a hit single, but it also resuscitated Bette Midler's career and made this one of the weepiest, sappiest movies of the 80's. Two childhood best friends, one outgoing and a total diva (Midler), and the other a reserved, shy girl (Barbara Hershey) grow apart only to find each other again in their adulthood. But there's a fatal twist - Hershey's dying, and she needs Midler now more than ever. Break out the Kleenex, turn off the phone and call your best girlfriends over for some 80's nostalgia and a little bonding.Ghost (1990)
Directed by: Jerry "I also did the fun ensemble romp Rat Race" Zucker
Starring: Patrick "Wow, I Appeared on This List Twice!" Swayze, Demi "Boy Toy? More Like My Husband!" Moore, Whoopi "Do You Think The Oscars Will Take Me Back?" Goldberg
Fun Fact: There were a list of actors optioned for the role of Sam Wheat (which ultimately went to Swayze). Among them were Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise, Kevin Bacon, Bruce Willis, Harrison Ford and Alec Baldwin, who turned down the role because they didn't believe in the film. More surprisingly, Paul Hogan of Crocodile Dundee fame was offered the role before Swayze.
Box Office Gross: $217 million
If Beaches was one of the sappiest movies of the 1980's, Ghost is undeniably one of the weepiest of the 90's. Besides the infamous pottery/lovemaking scene, Ghost also offers up Demi Moore's much-copied cropped hair, Whoopi Goldberg's Oscar-winning role as a psychic, and Patrick Swayze's return to the big screen after a horrendous Road House (which was a bad, bad movie). Truly for the romantic at heart, Ghost is a rentable treat that you can savour again and again.Wayne's World (1992)
Directed by: Penelope "I Love Bringing Old Television Shows to Life, If The Beverly Hillbillies and The Little Rascals Are Any Indication" Spheeris
Starring: Mike "Damn, I Give Dana Carvey A Boost In His Dwindling Career And He Still Can't Make A Decent Movie After This?" Myers, Dana "Yes, It's True" Carvey, Rob "What Sex Tapes?" Lowe, Tia "Why Have My Last Five Gigs Consist of Three Voice-Over Roles?" Carrere
Fun Fact: Mike Myers and Dana Carvey both suffered massive whiplash after filming the "Bohemian Rhapsody" sequence in the car. Scenes later show Myers and Carvey trying to move their necks as little as possible.
Box Office Gross: $121 million
To me, Wayne and Garth were only slightly one notch above Beavis and Butthead. But after watching Wayne's World, I found that I could forgive Mike Myers (Dana Carvey, not so much). Arguably one of the most successful movies spawned from a "Saturday Night Live" skit, Wayne's World coined the infamous "Party on!" catch-phrase, and revived "Bohemian Rhapsody" for those of us who weren't around to hear the original. And the movie, although very silly, was actually funny! And entertaining! Which is more than we could have ever expected from "Saturday Night Live" alumnis. ¤ C.Ho.