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Tube Talk:
Reality show vixens...
It wasn’t too long ago that men dominated the reality television dating scene. “The Bachelor,” “Flavor of Love” and “Rock of Love” are all shows that can attest to the power of an eligible bachelor and a bunch of idealistic, if not desperate, women vying for his love. The closest spin on the dating genre came in the form of “The Bachelorette.” While industriously touchy-feely, “The Bachelorette” also had a habit of boring audiences to tears (yes, we all saw the first bachelorette, Trista, fall in love and eventually marry, but can we really recall anything past the staged fantasy dates and pink wedding theme?). “The Bachelorette” was more successful than its male counterpart in producing long-term couples, but it very little in terms of titillation.But when VH1 and MTV got a whiff of all the money tied in promotions, sponsorships, and spin-offs from competitive reality dating shows, they gladly jumped on the bandwagon, producing “I Love New York” and “A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila,” respectively. While the aim of these shows is to find “true love” – or as true as love can get with a camera crew, ungodly amounts of alcohol, and a wardrobe that consists mainly of bikinis and halter tops – New York and Tila Tequila are overtly sexual, uninhibited and crude, and hardly naïve about their existence on the celebrity food chain. In other words, they’re playing right into the reality show dream. While network television often produces editing that portrays women as sad-sacked, emotional wrecks with a lifelong goal of finding a mate on prime time, ersatz celebrities New York and Tila Tequila have redefined the reality dating show paradigm.
“I Love New York”
There are many reasons why New York (née Tiffany Pollard) achieved spin-off fame, but the most blatant is that the woman is crazy, rarely follows logic, is loud and abrasive and, unlike her other reality show cohorts, has a natural talent for commanding attention that is oddly alluring.
New York is perhaps best known for appearing as a contestant on “Flavor of Love” and “Flavor of Love 2.” In the first installment of the dating series, which featured a slew of ill-advised women fighting over Public Enemy’s Flava Flav, New York became the villain of the house with her diva behaviour (freaking out over having to ride a horse, repeatedly hogging the bathroom), exaggerated attitude (smoking between bites of a “romantic dinner” with Flava Flav), well-placed quips (most notably directed at contestant “Hottie,” whom New York once called a Luther Vandross look-alike), and reckless cat fights (who could forget her little spit-tussle with “Pumkin”? Not that we’d actually believe that New York would get into a fight if there were a slim chance that her manicure and fake eyelashes would tear off). Although New York failed to win Flava Flav’s affections at the end of the series, she had made an impact. It didn’t matter how profound or wanted this impact was – all that mattered was that New York had become a memorable reality show contestant. In essence, playing a bitch on television made New York a hot commodity.
When New York returned in the midst of “Flavor of Love 2” (you wouldn’t think that a little thing like failed love was going to deter Flav from sticking his slimy tongue down some new throats, did you?), some of the second season contestants figuratively shook with fear. By this time, New York’s notoriety was so well ingrained in popular culture (or popular culture as defined by VH1) that her reputation preceded her. New York may seem indifferent, arrogant, and sadistic, but she isn’t stupid. Her manipulations and machinations in the house were both scary and fascinating to watch, though her physical affections toward Flava Flav were just mostly frightening. New York failed to woo Flav a second time, and watching her glorious meltdown on national television was enough to grant her another fifteen minutes of fame.
“I Love New York” is not a fluffy, fantasy-based dating show. Although at first glimpse the show might seem like a crude version of “The Bachelor” if “The Bachelor” were acted out by a bunch of drunken teenagers with raging hormones, “I Love New York” is more like a crude version of “Flavor of Love,” acted out by a bunch of drunken men with raging hormones and a few daddy issues. And unlike “The Bachelor,” no one has to wait for a lame overnight date to get with New York, who gives it up quite freely whenever the show permits (…at a golf course, in a hot tub, while brushing her teeth, etc.). Along for the ride is Sister Patterson, New York’s overly religious "mother," who often clashes with her daughter’s taste in men and who, frankly, is more filler than useful as she has very little input on the person New York ultimately chooses. But while the bachelor/bachelorette role on reality television has often remained passive (“I want to see who’s here for me” is often used, ad nauseum, as an excuse to sit back and not take responsibility for the interactions about to proceed), New York can often be seen telling off contestants, picking petty fights with those who she sees as a potential mate, and occasionally yelling niceties like, “They just weren't good enough for me and they had to get the f*** up out of my place.”
But the real reason why “I Love New York” continuously draws my attention is because New York is a fascinating person. She is rough, uncouth, and opportunistic, but she’s also self-aware, self-possessed, and confident. Plus, her prissiness and love for being pampered with food and cigarettes will ensure no boring “Bachelor”-like dates where everyone goes skating and then looks at a PowerPoint compilation of the Bachelor’s baby pictures.
“A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila”
Which brings us to Tila Tequila, who also forged her fame through unorthodox methods. Tila (née Tila Nguyen) started off as a car import model, and then went on to gain notoriety through the ubiquitous MySpace website, where she currently has over 1.5 million friends (I stand corrected. Now she's got over two million). A clothing line, burgeoning “music” career (which is currently a mix between ska, punk, and a lot of hoarse screaming), and a bit part in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry later, Tila is but a mere example that online communities hold more power than we could ever imagine. In fact, Googling Tila Tequila yields over 1,800,000 results.
“A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila” is already latching onto the reality show formula made popular by shows like “The Fifth Wheel” and “Elimidate” by appealing to the base human urge to compete. In a promo for MTV, Tila, who we know is hot because she used to be an import model, says that she is ready to settle down and find true love – with a man or a woman. Yes, Tila is bisexual, and her free-love-for-all attitude is what the network hopes will be its cash cow. “I thought about it, and I’m like, you know what, it came to me for a reason,” Tila says in an interview discussing her bisexuality, the show, and the quandary of fatalism. “I think that it was important for me to be the one to put it out there, to be the first one because I love to be ground-breaking and be the first to do anything.” Yes, Tila is a pioneer, but of what we’re not sure of yet.
In the season opener, Tila drops her bisexuality bombshell after meeting a group of heterosexual men and lesbian women, and then asks them to move into confined quarters for the remainder of the taping while singing “Kumbaya.” This does not ensue, but what does follow is fighting, sexually inappropriate scenarios (really, they couldn’t have sprung for multiple beds instead of the giant communal bed where contestants sleep?), and mud wrestling.
But like her comrade New York, Tila also possesses a level of self-awareness that’s rare to find on a dating show. She may say that she’s looking for “love,” but what her eyes are really saying in her robotic confessionals is that she’s looking for a quick buck and more MySpace friends. And in the end, aren’t we all looking for that?
What makes “A Shot At Love” so enthralling is not the fact that Tila is most concerned about making out with people rather than speaking with them, or that there’s a contestant named Domenico who looks like he would be a front-runner for a Super Mario Bros. live-action remake, or even that most of the contestants seem confused over their own sexuality. No, what makes the show a guilty pleasure is seeing Tila simultaneously go through the reality show process (the season promos show way too much crying to not seem like it’s veering into “The Bachelor” territory) while subverting it (I wouldn’t be surprised if Tila spends most of the lulls in between tapings approving more friend requests on MySpace, or wondering if she could land a spin-off by announcing that she was “trisexual”). And the fact that Tila has posed in several states of undress at numerous times and yet still becomes embarrassed when an earnest contestant accidentally pulls down the strap of her dress is a little endearing.
“I Love New York” and “A Shot at Love” aren’t exactly the type of shows that anyone admits to liking. New York and Tila Tequila make a living by using overt sexual appeal and fabricated personas (right down to their names) to entice a certain audience, and most of the time we hope it’s not us. And yet, these are exactly the type of women that make reality television so fascinating. Sometimes the beauty of reality television is not necessarily the “reality” we see in it, but how we see other people’s “realities” play out. And New York and Tila Tequila offer up theirs with no frills attached. ¤ C.Ho.