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Blind Faith: If we the people would pay closer attention to the news and actually cross-reference these so-called "facts" we might surprise ourselves. If no watchdog exists for the media, anything can be declared or printed that is not…wait for it…fact! Maybe not, but how will we know unless we start double-checking reporters? READ ON >>
RETRO REWIND
Happygrrl of the Month: As Liz Lemon, she encompasses everything that we ask from our Happygrrl of the Month: she’s fiercely independent yet wryly self-deprecating; she’s intelligent and outspoken but succumbs to moments of vulnerability; she can hang with the big personalities like Jack and Tracy without losing her feminine sensibilities; and she’s neurotic (we really like the neurotic part). READ ON >>
This & That: When I was a young girl, keeping up with the newest teen craze meant picking up a Big Bop magazine and meeting friends in the school yard to act out the latest New Kids on the Block video (yes, sadly, this is a true story, and I always got stuck playing Jonathan Knight). But now, I no longer need to poll random children on what’s popular right now – all I have to do is grab a People magazine and catch up with the gang of “High School Musical.” READ ON >>
How to Win An Oscar: Be British. By default, this is one of those non-negotiable things. If you’re not British, you’re out of luck, because it’s commonly known that if a British person is nominated for an Oscar, everyone else in that category is screwed. But all hope is not lost: if you’re just emerging onto the scene, you can reinvent yourself as a British Hollywood transplant. Just remember to hire a dialect coach so you don’t end up sounding like a lazy version of Madonna.READ ON >>
Oh Canada: What we are not so proud of are her fashion choices, particularly in the latter years of her career, and especially in her multi-million Las Vegas show. However, she’s made gazillions of dollars, so a little indulgence in sequins is excusable. But then there’s the errant behaviour and haphazard hand fluttering that are often the source of mockery on skit shows. This probably leads many non-Canadians to believe that French-Canadians are crazy – but not crazy-crazy, just crazy in that fun, kooky way that your Aunt Maude is crazy after ingesting half a bottle of wine. READ ON >>
How to Make A Music Video: Wind machines are out. Slow motion is in. But the only person that can move in slow motion is you. The secondary (and only other person) that shall be allowed to move in slow motion is your love interest, and only then just to show the audience that you’ve made a deep and lasting connection. If your love interest must have a scene in slow motion, make sure you have two. Another tip: using slow motion techniques when turning around is hot. Remember, you’re the star. READ ON >>
September Happygrrl of the Month: Even though she’s had many multi-platinum hits, it’s the heartbreaking “Because of You” that she holds near and dear. Penned as a way to deal with her parents’ divorce, the song became an enormous hit and resonated with people worldwide. It’s the song that Lindsay Lohan had probably wished she’d written instead of the empty, lesser "Confessions of a Broken Heart." It seems that others agree; she scored numerous awards for her single, including an MTV Award for Best Female Music Video and a prestigious ASCAP Music Award for Song of The Year. READ ON >>
March Happygrrl of the Month: One of the best things about her is that, although she makes five hundred times as much as the average person, she still seems so personable and down-to-earth – no doubt a product of her upbringing and personal values. Instead of playing it safe and falling into teen comedies, she has chosen roles both challenging and varied. READ ON >>
FEATURED OLDIE
October Happygrrl of the Month: Whether she’s the villain, the supportive best friend, or the guest star on “Grown Ups” opposite Jaleel White, she throws in everything she’s got. It’s not surprising that most of her roles are strong, independent women, much like her off-screen persona. READ ON >>
November Happygrrl of the Month: She approaches her projects with intelligence and introspection, which only magnifies her passion for her characters. It would be difficult to find one role in which she wasn't at least recognized for her acting chops. READ ON >>
May Happygrrl of the Month: Unfortunately, the clips of Oh in Sideways really do no justice to the scope of her role: upon finding out that Jack (Thomas Hayden Church) is married, she hits him with her purse and breaks his nose. Sassy! But she might as well be Lucy Liu in Play It to the Bone. READ ON >>
October Happygrrl of the Month: Playing against Gosling's brooding, moody, sometimes intensely creepy and often hairy Noah, McAdams shows us, through Allie, a side of her that we hadn't quite seen yet. She's headstrong, vulnerable, and lovable, all at once. READ ON >>
June Happygrrl of the Month: Not only does she have a circa 1930's movie star looks, she can kick your ass for staring too long. Anyone that knows me knows that I have been all about her for years, I am glad the rest of the world caught up. She is sexy for the boys, and a great role model for the ladies. READ ON >>
November Happygrrl of the Month: I do realize that Samantha is a fictional character (she's played by the actress Kim Cattrall), but she is the most outrageous badass chick on television. She is a powerful PR exec who does whatever and whomever she wants, and has no regrets. READ ON >>
July Unhappy Grrl of the Month: We realize that this should automatically disqualify him from the title, but we couldn't help ourselves. His general suckiness has defied the bounds of gender. He may not be a girl, but he sure is a whiny baby. READ ON >>
April Happygrrl of the Month: What many people may not know about Cho is that her real-life persona is calm and soft-spoken, a stark contrast to her on-stage personality, who is loud, blunt, and not afraid to offend. After almost twenty years in the business, she knows when to turn it on and when to shut it off. READ ON >>
November Happygrrl of the Month: It was Jemeni's love for hip hop - music and culture - that motivated her to get into radio. Being a young, black female growing up in Ottawa, hip hop was one of the few things that she could totally identify with. "It was my connection to the community, my politics and my poetry." READ ON >>
August Happygrrl of the Month: The best thing about Missy Elliott is that she comes across as being real, which is a rarity nowadays in such a fickle and pretentious industry. Her songs are constantly challenging the boundaries of hip-hop and R&B, and her chameleon-like behaviour has garnered fans from all walks of life. READ ON >>
July Happygrrl of the Month: P!nk rocks! Not only is she able to come off as a tough chick that will kick your ass in a New York minute, she also has a sexy side that will make any red blooded male melt in her hands. READ ON >>
July This & That: Remember 1996? The New York Yankees take the World Series, the rap world loses Tupac Shakur, Janet Jackson is still relevant, scientists discover a meteorite that could prove that there once was life on Mars, and Cuba Gooding, Jr. wins an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. So what do you do when you win an Oscar for Jerry McGuire? For starters, you don’t follow that up with Rat Race, Snow Dogs, The Fighting Temptations, or Home on the Range. And you certainly don’t follow those up with Norbit and Daddy Day Camp. READ ON >> August This & That: It remains to be seen what she can really do career-wise, but for now she’s exhausted the tabloids without ever making a ground-breaking or high-grossing film – which, if you think about it, puts her on the same level as Janice Dickinson or Jessica Simpson. And at least one of these two can say that she’s the World’s First Supermodel, while the other has a hard time spelling “model.” READ ON >>
November This & That: Kevin, formerly known as the dancer who knocks up women during commercials, is now known as Mr. Britney Spears. First, marrying Britney Spears is no big feat - heck, you can smell her neediness from a mile away; and second, marrying Britney Spears is not even in the same universe as, say, heavy petting with Halle Berry. READ ON >>
March This & That: As well all know, the two were married in some top-secret ceremony, and blah blah we-are-so-sick-of-this blah denied rumours thereafter that they had tied the knot. And then, all of a sudden, Lopez was ready to share her love of Anthony with the world, and did so with a Very Special Performance at the Grammys. This would not mark the first time Lopez has worked with Anthony, who did a duet on one of her earlier sucky albums and appears on two others in Rebirth. READ ON >>
October This & That: If the one-seaters are gone, aim for the middle of the bus. The front of the bus is reserved for crazy people who talk incessantly about nothing. The back of the bus is reserved for drunken teenagers. Unless you're drunk yourself, then it doesn't really matter. READ ON >>
June This & That: To ensure that everyone has a good time, there are some things that should be present, such as courtesy, respect, and a great selection of songs. Here is a snippet from my upcoming and yet-to-be-written book, How to Sing Like a Karaoke Diva But Not Act Like One. READ ON >>
February This & That: Several forums pose the question, "Do you think she looks up to dear old sis?" Talent-wise, we can ascertain that the answer is yes. (And to all those perverts that say she's hot, for crying out loud, she's twelve.) READ ON >>
November This & That: And, of course, we also get a glimpse of Nancy's hectic call girl life, which includes a lot of leather and blush-inducing threesomes. If you want to read something smart, funny, and real, visit Salon for your booty call. READ ON >>
July This & That: He didn't exactly HOLD it open, but kept it open until I got there. I mean, he could've just let go, I would've. I was STEPS behind him, not RIGHT behind him. And he held it! Either he's really, really, really polite or had nothing better to do. I realize I'm babbling. READ ON >>
April This & That: I would then deliver a long-winded monologue about anything: school, candy, the people in my class, anything, I just wanted to dramatize my life. I used to fantasize what it would be like to be a big star. I would pull a major Diva-tantrum and demand that someone feed me only brown M&M's. READ ON >>
January This & That: When this all began, we had our own motives for working on Happygrrls. Phan wanted millions of dollars, Michelle hoped for lots of free stuff, and I yearned to take over the world. While none of this ever came to fruition, we did realize that the next best thing was hearing from our readers, especially people we didn't know or whom we didn't pay to look at our site. And write in they did! READ ON >>
November This & That: And the award for Most Repetitive Song of the Year goes to Ashanti, who managed to release one of the least lyrically-driven songs of the decade. With Baby, she manages to cram the song with a whopping 117 "baby"s (118 if you count the title). Ashanti, buy a thesaurus. READ ON >>
August This & That: Dear Christina Aguilera...hooray for you. You are making your big comeback now, and I'm sure teenaged boys all over the word are singing "Hallelujah." However, is it considered a comeback when it doesn't seem like anyone has missed you? READ ON >>
July This & That: When we sat down to discuss the sexy issue, we didn't really anticipate the backlash that would result. Okay, maybe backlash is a grossly exaggerated word, but nevertheless, we received quite some (good and bad) feedback on the issue. READ ON >>
Whatever Happened to: Female Stars of Yesteryear: If you ever come across the Chayes-McKellar-Winn theorem, you'll be happy to learn that it's named after Danica. In fact, Danica loves math so much that her official site includes free online tutoring for students. The next couple of years saw Danica go from great stints as Elsie Snuffin on "The West Wing" (2002-2003) to hilarious made-for-television films like Sci-Fi Channel's Path for Destruction (2005), with a cover so horribly Photoshopped that it looks like it was made by me. READ ON >> Safe Snacks: First of all, it doesn’t even look like an Oreo cookie – there’s no white icing (yes, I know that it is a low calorie snack, but shouldn’t it at least resemble the original? The box does say it’s a thin crisp, but c’mon!). The packet contained a series of brown lifeless cookies that were flat and indistinguishable from any other low fat cookie. They were very dry, they didn’t taste remotely like chocolate, and they didn’t look tempting at all. READ ON >>
The Toronto Humane Society: The shelter is currently overflowing with hurt, lost and abandoned animals, and doesn't have space for any new ones needing care. Caring people who have room in their homes and their hearts for a new friend are invited to visit the shelter and adopt one of the wonderful animals patiently waiting for their "forever" home. READ ON >>
Biggest Disappointment of 2006: I am a HUGE fan of theirs and every morning I would look forward to hearing their commentary on all things related to pop culture. And I can’t forget listening to their spot-on song parodies (“Shave Me,” the parody of Ashanti’s “Baby,” is classic!). They always delivered funny and irreverent material, and it was unquestionably the best start to my day. READ ON >>
Whatever Happened To: The 90's Edition: In Car Babes, he plays a listless graduate who ends up working at his father’s car dealership. When rival Ron Harper wants to buy out the flailing company to expand, he must band the misfit group of salesmen together for a sales showdown. It sounds just as interesting as it is to type out, so it’s unlikely that the film will receive a theatrical release (the official website cites spring/summer 2006 as its release date, which is such a lie). READ ON >>
Happygrrls On The Town: Once in a while, you may find yourself in the following scenario: you’re out with a group of friends and have all the time in the world, but you’re helplessly staring at each other as the seconds tick by. Inevitably, someone will start with, “What do you want to do?” And someone will predictably reply, “I don’t know. What do you want to do?” What could you possibly do that hasn’t been done? READ ON >>
Get Your Bling On: Some will take them off to eat, and then shove them into their pocket. When they are finished eating and want to flash their million-dollar smile, they will reach into their pocket and put them back into their mouth. Now it’s covered in lint and all the other filthy things that are in pockets. Not very hygienic. READ ON >>
To-Do List III: He'd come over and we'd attempt to make sushi and drink sake and then totally give up and order pizza and wings instead. We'll watch old movies and talk about how crappy Hollywood films have become before cuddling on the couch and falling asleep in each other's arms. (This is the PG version, of course.) READ ON >>
Whatever Happened To: The Teen Edition: But the film I will always remember is 1988's Satisfaction, where Bateman stars as a sassy lead singer in a band. If you can catch this cheesy but fun movie on late-night television, you should. Bateman also writes Christmas poetry in her spare time. READ ON >>
Whatever Happened To: After her stint on "Baywatch," she had a breast reduction, but not before appearing on the cover of Sugar Ray's album. (Remember when Sugar Ray was actually a rock band? Now Mark McGrath is co-hosting "Extra." For shame!). READ ON >>
Dreaming of a Green Christmas: Think of all the paper, ribbon and tags used to wrap the presents under your tree. More often than not, all this packaging is simply tossed in the trash once the gifts have been opened. If your wish this year is to help preserve the environment, just follow these simple steps and have yourself an environmentally friendly little Christmas! READ ON >>
Pack a Punch: Packing for travel, whether it's work or pleasure, is a fine art. If you're like me, no matter how carefully you plan ahead, check and double check, you always manage to leave something behind (usually, it's important, like underwear or - heaven forbid - your straightening iron). READ ON >>
Going Abroad: #5. Never go over for a man. If so, have a back up plan. Like a woman. #9. Wait six months before wearing your European clothes in Canada. Seventeen magazine won't be in the know yet, and you'll look like a weirdo. READ ON >>
30 and Feline Fine: You see, Kitty's success comes from the fact her appeal's not only timeless - it's ageless, too. Case in point: at five years old, I went to school each morning swinging a pink Hello Kitty lunchbox. Now, at 25, I go to work each morning swinging my pink Hello Kitty cell phone case. READ ON >>
Netiquette 101: After two weeks in the class, I decided to drop the course. Not only was there virtually no feedback from the professor (only the teaching assistants, who were probably dipping into his stash), but apparently grammar and punctuation aren't integral components in a writing course. READ ON >>
Left Ajar: Sure enough, the forewoman, demolition team and three engineers made lascivious and excited remarks of congratulation. At lunch, the hot dog lady gave her a knowing look, as she handed Ana the frankfurter, pretending to forget the bun. Ana giggled. "I'll take that as a compliment." Ana rolled her eyes a lot that day. READ ON >>
Your 2004 Horoscope: Asset: Your perseverance would put anyone to shame. Detriment: Even the deaf listen better than you do. READ ON >>
The Stars and Sex: Earthy Taureans seek comfort in everything they do, and that includes sex. In private, they are intense partners, often preferring sexual encounters that go on all night long. READ ON >>
Crave: Crave to smell you when you sleep / Crave your closeness when we peak / Crave your looks that belong to me / Crave the obsession you've become to me READ ON >>
21 Bizarre Questions: Besides being blinded by a pigeon, I have a phobia of walking near people tossing a ball (football, soccer ball, basketball, whatever!), because I know it will eventually hit me on my head. READ ON >>
Bizarro Experiences: At this point, random people from the floor were knocking on the door and asking me if I was all right. They thought that I couldn't grasp the concept of turning a knob and pulling the door open, despite my protests that the lock was stuck in the door and wouldn't turn for either side. I think someone even asked me if I could breathe in there. I felt like the girl in the well. READ ON >>
To-Do List II: We'd sit at a small café in Paris, reading poetry to each other. Being consumed with passion, we'd run back to the hotel room, where, after catching my breath, I'd proceed to do him. READ ON >>
This Is What I Remember:
Yo mama jokes aka the dozens or snaps
New Edition
Fame (the TV series)...yo grrls, didn't you love Leroy's braids? READ ON >>Best Boxing Match of 2002: De La Hoya, a champion from the junior lightweight division, had moved up to Vargas' league, junior middleweight. But has De La Hoya become somewhat of a "softie," living a $100 million lifestyle with a singing career? How would De La Hoya fare in the ring after his year-plus vacation? READ ON >>
Your 2003 Horoscope: You will be engaged in many activities, some of which you will have ample opportunity to meet new people. Only talk to those whose names begins with an "R", "J", or "C," and whose birthday digits add up to 4, 8 or 9. READ ON >>
The Ghettofabulous Broke Diaries: I tried it three more times before giving up. "Leave without me!" I cried. "Spare yourself and go home!" Luckily, he ignored my bout of insanity and climbed back to my side. What transpired next was an awkward attempt to get my butt over the fence. READ ON >>
How the Happygrrls Met: It's really strange how some friendships are forged. There are those that kind of happen out of convenience (like the girl that sits beside you in class and has very neat notes) and then there are those that you would never see coming from a million, trillion miles away. READ ON >>
August Moment of the Month: The young man - hmm, let's call him "Slice," asked us if we were interested. Michelle was amused, Phan was appalled, and I was annoyed. Michelle asked Slice how old his friend was, and he replied that his friend was nineteen. We all groaned, because while nineteen is a most respectable age, it is also one step up from being jailbait, and just a little too wet behind the ears for our liking. READ ON >>
Michelle's Summer Vacation: I worked full time for so long that it is going to be hard getting up in the morning and having nowhere to go. On my lazy days I hang out with my fellow Happygrrl Christine, and we eat Vietnamese food and discuss our favourite vegetable, "the bok choy." (Can you tell that we have way too much time on our hands?) READ ON >>
Sex Toys 101: So, here I am writing about sex toys. I swear, Michelle and Phan dump the weirdest assignments on me. Actually, this time around I volunteered for the story. I was always curious about these little gadgets, and as a sex toy amateur myself I delved into the forbidden world of dildos, vibrators, and masturbators. READ ON >>
To-Do List: Everyone has that someone. That one person you feel so attracted to that you dream about having hot, steamy sex with all night long. Or all week long, depending on how freaky your dreams are. READ ON >>
Happygrrls on the Town: Even though I initially declined the absurd offer, I have always longed to dash my inhibitions to the wind and sing my little heart out. So with little hesitation, I decided to join them at Karaoke. READ ON >>
The Rock Rocks My World: The allure of wrestling is stereotyped to prepubescent boys, "young at heart" men, and people who don't take hygiene too seriously. But the reality is that wrestling, in the last couple of years, has caught on to many people from different walks of life, and yes, that includes women. READ ON >>