This & That:
I Got Coffee Breath, Happygrrls' time capsule, and more...
Even though it's our anniversary, Michelle has already been through this milestone before (three times!) so she knows how to wrap up a year. Let's see what she had to say about her 'zine, I Got Coffee Breath, when it turned three years old back in 2000.
I Got Coffee Breath
My life is an open book...
I started IGCB in '97 for the sole purpose of getting rid of all the articles that I wrote which were piling up on my desk. It didn't matter to me if anyone liked them or not, I had too much fun and freedom writing about the stupid things that made me smile. For example, in one issue I actually wrote about buying my pimp-daddy leather jacket and in another issue I wrote about why I love coffee.
In the following year, I had even more fun writing IGCB. It was no longer my hobby, it became my LIFE. I received so much enjoyment during this time because I noticed that my work was becoming a reflection upon myself. I wrote about myself, however, I was selective with what I told my readers.
Well, that all changed in '99! The entire year was spent detailing my long distance relationship and the trials and tribulations of the relationship. I was praised and criticized for being TOO REVEALING, but being the stubborn girl that I am, I didn't care. I felt as though my audience was an old friend who listened to me complain on and on and on and on...
Writing during this time was the most challenging. I wrote about being so much in love, to being devastated by the break-up. My 'zine became so revealing that I felt that I couldn't go back to divulging snippets of my life. I had no choice but to let everyone in on my private life.
I'm going into the third year of my 'zine and I will continue to write about myself...it's what I know. I really don't know if I plan to be as revealing as I was in the past. It gets a little scary when complete strangers know about the intimacies of my private life.
Happygrrls' Time Capsule
Rewind ten years as we muse about the things we thought we'd do, the things we wanted to do, and what we're doing now.
I never placed much stock in my future because I always liked looking forward to the present. When you're thirteen, the most trivial things like the upcoming school dance or the zit on your forehead became the centre of your universe. The only thing I was certain about was that I wanted to write; whether it was porn or copy for an Ikea catalogue was beyond me. I always wanted a dog as well.
I guess if I had to picture my "grown-up" self as anything, it would have most likely involved alcohol, Las Vegas, and a briefcase full of money. Or, more honestly, a university degree in Creative Writing, a career in publishing or anything writing-related, and dinner parties. Lots of dinner parties, where I would serve ham and bottles of wine. As for marriage or anything of the sort - I didn't even have my first boyfriend back then, so the thought that someone would want to marry me was sadly comical. I didn't want a husband at twenty-five and three kids by thirty. I thought I'd be too busy traveling the world to settle down. As for my retirement, a house by the beach while I wrote my twentieth novel was just fine with me.
Nothing has really worked out the way I imagined. This is neither good nor bad, it's just the way things are. Unfortunately, I had to forfeit my degree in Creative Writing, but then again, I never thought I'd be involved in something as cool as Happygrrls. I'm not living my exact dream right now, but this reality is pretty darn good.
I was the kind of kid who would be a world away when caught up in thoughts.
Ask me what I wanted to become when I was ten and my answers were teacher, nurse, doctor, dancer, singer, pianist, etc. Ask me at age 18 and I was clueless. I had a passion for fashion and French, but with reality and my parents knocking, I chose accounting for practicality. I have no regrets though because I found a job with Campus WorkLink and met some great people, but this is definitely not a career for me. Still searching.
I was the typical girl who dreamed of fairy tale weddings. I can get lost when day dreaming about my wedding. There are just so many details to consider: the dress, my bridesmaids and their dresses, decorations, flowers, etc. When was it going to happen? I was hoping around the age of 23 to 25. Let's just say that I'm still waiting. Oh well, back to daydreaming. I think I have all the details pinpointed by now. Just call me Monica Gellar crazy.
I haven't put too much thought into kids or retirement since I haven't set foot in the honeymoon stage yet.
Well, back to the present. Although my childhood dreams have not become realities yet, I have much to be happy for. I have a job to support my shopping sprees, great friends to share laughs with, a wonderful family who puts up with me, and a sweet boyfriend that loves me.
Remember when you were a kid and someone would ask you what wanted to be when you grew up? I always loved answering this question because I had a million things on my list that I wanted to do. I wanted to be a teacher, a nurse, a singer, a dancer, a police officer, and an actress.
Don't ask me what I was thinking when I said that I wanted to be a police officer, I am way too lazy to chase after anyone.
But out of all those possible career choices, the one thing that I really wanted to do was act. If you haven't already noticed, I kinda love attention and I also like to be the center of it.
When I was a kid, I would hide in my room and I would look into my mirror and pretend it was my audience. I would then deliver a long-winded monologue about anything: school, candy, the people in my class, anything, I just wanted to dramatize my life. I used to fantasize what it would be like to be a big star. I would pull a major diva tantrum and demand that someone feed me only brown M&M's.
In my sixth grade drama class, I would act as if I was really nervous to participate, and then I would go up to the front of the class and blow my classmates away (that's not quite how it happened, but hey, I like to embellish). I loved hearing the class laugh and big me up. I began to think that I was born to entertain.
But by the time I got to high school, my acting bug was put on the back burner. I still liked it, but I felt more passionate about writing. I liked the fact that I could write about my feelings, instead of "being a character." Being the crazy/artsy chick that I was, I would actually write poetry on any given subject. I wrote about being late for class, my teacher's ugly pants, and of course the typical mushy love poem. I really had too much time on my hands.
Throughout the years, I have taken some time off from writing, but I always seem to come back. I realize that it is something that I was born to do, and I could never give it up. ¤ C.Ho.