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This & That:
The MTV Music Awards, I Got Coffee Breath, and more...
I Got Coffee Breath
ANNOUNCEMENTS
And the IGCB saga continues. This month, we delve into one of Michelle's fondest obsessions - her hair. Granted, for Michelle this is not so much an obsession as it is a lifestyle.As Nappy as I Wanna Be
(3rd Anniversary Issue, Issue 21)
At the beginning of this year I was having some serious problems. The problem was with my hair. From January (actually since October) to early February, my simple to maintain chin-length 'do turned into something I could not recognize anymore. Even though I used perm (relaxer) in my hair, it became resistant to it. Believe me, it is EXTREMELY difficult to control hair that has a mind of its own! I was late for work on many occasions tryin' to tame my damn hair!!!So I decided, "Why not cut my hair to a shorter length, and eventually go natural?" - basically saying goodbye to chemicals.
I did cut my hair, however, I could not get used to my slightly boyish hairstyle. I missed everything about my hair. The way it looked and felt after I went to the salon, and the compliments that I received. (I'm not as shallow as I sound!)
It is now the end of March and I am finally starting to get used to my hair decision. If I can't handle a short 'do, can I actually handle going natural?
So my plans for going natural are on the back burner.
It's Funny What a Few Braids Can Do…
(2000 In Review, Issue 22)
You know I couldn't complete this issue without talking about my hair!!!Early on this year I decided to chop off my "signature" 'do and adopt a more sleek 'do. Oddly enough, I regretted my decision seconds after I cut off all my damn hair.
As the months went by, my hair grew and I started to get used to its new length (still short, but easier to manage). However, about a month ago I decided that I wanted yet another change. I decided to get braids (I think I am the only black girl who hasn't had braids before).
Who knew that my choice of hairstyle would have created such noise? No, it wasn't negative feedback. As soon as I walked into my office at work, everyone complemented me. Even though I thrive on attention, I was startled by everyone's response. (I had no idea that my braids would have been the hot topic for an ENTIRE week!?! [It's not like we ever did any work - Chris]). Apparently I looked "okay" before, and now my braids added a bit of "sexiness" to my general appearance (that's what I've been told).
I feel like Angela Bassett's character in How Stella Got Her Groove Back. All I need now is a Taye Diggs-looking brother.
An Open Letter
Dear Christina Aguilera,
Hooray for you. You are making your big comeback now, and I'm sure teenaged boys all over the word are singing "Hallelujah." However, is it considered a comeback when it doesn't seem like anyone has missed you? Sure, occasionally you sing in Spanish, and you have a great voice (better than what's-her-face), but isn't what's-her-face ten times more rich than you are? I guess there's only room for one blonde pop singer in this industry. Your first single, "Dirrty," ain't all that. Sure, you got Redman to be in it. Sure, you're trying to corner the R&B market, and your voice is definitely suited for that. But come on. Do yourself a favour and fire your agent. Get yourself some better songwriters. And for the love of God, cover up once in a while. You certainly are "Dirrty," but probably not in the way you intended.
Chris
P.S.: MTV doesn't seem to love you as much as they used to, since they made you present an award to Eminem at the MTV Music Awards, probably hoping that he would make fun of you some more.Dear Eminem,
Although you are my secret boyfriend, sometimes you can get quite mean. For instance, at the MTV Music Awards, you should have left Moby alone instead of calling him names at the podium. Save those comments for someone like Christina Aguilera. Honestly, you sounded like an idiot. Anyway, are you really dating Brittany Murphy?Call me.
ChrisMale Ho of the Month
And the award goes to…Justin Timberlake, front man of boy band *NSYNC and ex-boyfriend of Britney Spears. While Britney may be no angel herself, her romantic life has been in low profile for the past couple of months. There have even been reports of her hitting the bottle pretty hard, allegedly because she was so heartbroken. On the other hand, the Timberman has been linked to numerous women since their much-denied split this spring. It started with an incognito brunette, probably one of his backup dancers. Then it moved to the biggest rumour since Michael Jackson's sham of a marriage…Justin and Janet Jackson hooking up at a party. Is this true? No one knows for sure. But one thing is for sure - if Janet Jackson feels compelled to make out with Justin, then she is either going through a mid-life crisis, running out of "men" (boys) to date, using her prescription pills incorrectly, or a combination of all three. If Justin Timberlake feels compelled to make out with Janet, then he is either the luckiest man in the world, paying her to do it, brainwashing her, or a combination of all three. Recently, a newscast also mentioned that Justin was romantically linked to Christina Aguilera. Now, this would be more logical step for Justin, but it's still pretty shocking. That's like your jock boyfriend breaking up with your head cheerleader ass and dating the other head cheerleader. My bet is that Justin is currently dating Nelly.How much truth there is actually is in these rumours is open to discussion. For all we know, Justin could be living up the single life. But still, it doesn't seem like Justin has grieved as much as someone who has gotten out of a three-year relationship would grieve. Eh, we all have our own ways of coping. Some people cry, some people drink, and some people ho it up. Just like Tom Cruise last year, Justin Timberlake gets my award for Questionable Ex of the Year.
Weird Couple Hook-Ups
Lisa-Marie Presley and Nicholas Cage: After a lengthy marriage to Patricia Arquette, he hooks up with Elvis' daughter. After a blink-and-it's-done marriage to Michael Jackson, she hooks up with (allegedly) one of the most difficult actors in Hollywood. Is it an Elvis fetish for him? All signs point to yes. At least we know that most likely they've already consummated their marriage. Let the betting pools open…Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck: She hangs out with Ja Rule and has a history with P. Diddy. He hangs out with Matt Damon and has a history with Gwyneth Paltrow. Mismatched, or just in love? All I can conclude from this is that she is definitely the man in the relationship. ¤ C.Ho.