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This & That:
Another year in review, siblings in show business, and more...
Another Year in Review
We're not the only ones who put out a year in review issue. In fact, by the time you read this, you've probably already seen about a hundred shows, magazine articles, and Much Music specials about the coming and going of 2003. Whether it was music, sports, or headline-making news, it was covered somewhere, somehow, and by somebody.A certain publication that shall remain unnamed (hint: it's a weekly entertainment magazine) released their double-issue Best of 2003 edition in December, covering the "tops in movies, TV, DVD, music, books & style." While this is clearly a reputable magazine, there are certain things that will have you scratching your head until your hair falls off. Let's see what they got right, and where they went wrong.
Right on the Money
The cast of the Lord of the Rings rejoice in their world-wide critical acclaim. Yay for me! they say.
Top Performers of the Year, #1: The Lord of the Rings
You can breathe a sigh of relief that come 2004, you will never have to see another reference to hobbits or Middle Earth - that is, until the final Lord of the Rings is released on DVD. But admittedly, 2003 was the year of The Ring. It may have seemed like an ambitious project at first, what with the studio green lighting back-to-back filming, but it all worked out in the end. And no one could be better off than the moviegoers who happily shelled out the money and the time to see this trilogy come to life.Top Performers of the Year, #10: Uma Thurman You loved her in Kill Bill: Volume I, and so did the magazine's writers. It's not exactly Shakespeare, but Uma Thurman breathed new life into Quentin Tarantino's career, and did it gracefully, effortlessly, and without breaking a sweat. Now we can all understand why Tarantino called her his muse.
Great Performances (Memorable Moments from 2003): OutKast's Andre 3000 in the "Hey Ya!" Video
The video is just as fun to watch as it is to dance to. A revival of The Beatles' 1964 Ed Sullivan Show performance featured eight Andres shaking it like a Polaroid on stage while fans screamed. This is how all videos should be like - engaging and cool. Are you listening, Jennifer Lopez and Britney Spears?Record of the Year, #1: The White Stripes, Elephant
Guitarist/vocalist Jack White and drummer (and ex-wife...or sister, depending on the version) Meg come together to bring one of the most edgy releases of 2003. Even if you're not a rock fan, "Seven Nation Army" will have you tapping your foot.Worst Record of the Year, #3: Lisa Marie Presley, To Whom It May Concern See, even the title sucks. And if anyone knows what the heck she's mumbling about, give me a call.
Let's Agree to Disagree
Clay and Ruben stare deeply into each others' eyes. Yay for me! they also say...but really shouldn't.
Top Performers of the Year, #2: Ruben Studdard and Clay Aiken
If you want entertainment, then watch means, not the end. "American Idol" is enjoyable enough, but its product, which happened to be Ruben and Clay this year, could not be farther from what music listeners need. And Clay is just getting more and more creepy.Great Performances (Memorable Moments from 2003): Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, "Newlyweds"
You can tune in each week to see Nick reach for another beer (new drinking game! Take a gulp whenever Nick does!) while Jessica blathers on about chickens of the sea, or you can read a good book. This isn't exactly "Law & Order." It's not even "The Osbournes." "I know I'm a ditz," Jessica confesses. "So I'm the first one to laugh when someone calls me dumb." But after watching "Newlyweds," you get the feeling that the joke's on you.Great Performances (Memorable Moments from 2003): Bennifer…in just about anything
The only thing we you'll want to know is, who really wears the pants? And then you'll want them to go away forever.Worst Effects of an Elephantiasis Epidemic: Black Eyed Peas, Elephunk
I actually liked Elephunk, and you can read all about it here. For a magazine that celebrates innovation, they're really being harsh on a group that has proven they were one of its leaders in 2003.Is That A Promise? The Last Samurai
I liked The Last Samurai as well, and here's the proof. Tom Cruise and the principal cast gave an affected performance, and if you're looking for an epic of great proportions, then look no further than The Last Samurai.Worst Fake Lesbian Act: Madonna and Britney / Best Fake Lesbian Act: t.A.T.u. While there's no argument about the Madonna and Britney kiss, one has to wonder why another fake lesbian act, clearly designed to draw horny teenaged boys to buy records, would garner a best nod. Is there even such a thing as a good or bad lesbian act? What's that smell? you ask. Why, it's the stench of hypocrisy.
And The Aaron Carter Award for Siblings Who Shouldn't Be In Show Business Goes To…
Jamie Lynn Spears rides on big sis' coattails.
Jamie Lynn Spears, Britney Spears' twelve-year-old sister, who is as annoying as her older sister is a jezebel. Jamie Lynn is apparently in talks to star in her own Nickelodeon show, although the network declined to comment. And she currently stars on "All That," a kids' variety show on the same network. Jamie Lynn is the spitting image of Britney, pre-vamp, pre-boob job, and rode on her coattails long before launching her own career. Case in point: she played young Britney on her atrocious movie, Crossroads, had a cameo in one of her now-defunct Pepsi commercials, and appeared alongside her older sister in numerous award shows. Several forums pose the question, "Do you think she looks up to dear old sis?" Talent-wise, we can ascertain that the answer is yes. (And to all those perverts that say she's hot, for crying out loud, she's twelve.) The world needs another Spears as much as it needs another Bennifer.Where Were You?
We will all remember 2003 in our own ways. Maybe it was the year that you graduated, or gave birth, or made that long-overdue career change. But there are some things that we will always remember collectively, things that happened to us as a city, country, nation, or world. So when you recount the stories to your grandchildren, will you remember where you were?The SARS Outbreak: In the spring, the first case was announced and, by mid-summer, the U.N. was blacklisting Toronto. It seemed like something out of a movie, but for many Torontonians, hospital masks became a part of their lives. Images in the media, all around the world, depicted overcrowded hospital waiting rooms and overworked hospital workers. Hundreds of people underwent the quarantine routine, and even "Law & Order" aired an episode centered around the outbreak. Our economy suffered the more for it, and as the higher powers started pointing the finger at each other and laying the blame, Toronto came together to bring itself out of its rut - thanks to the hard work and dedication of its city workers. We even had a sense of humour about it…remember the "I Survived Toronto" t-shirts?
The Blackout: On August 15, 2003, at approximately 3:00 PM, Toronto stood still for the first time in decades. As the electricity went out, you could almost feel the eerie silence in your bones. Again, it was like something out of a movie, but this time it wasn't sci-fi, it was like one of those I'm-the-last-person-on-Earth deals. By the time the sun set, the city was basked in the glow of never-seen-before stars, and people were out - actually outside! After rubbing their bleary eyes, they discovered a life beyond television sets and computer screens. It was primitive, it was chaotic, and for almost ten hours it disrupted our lives. But it also showed us what altruism was - or in some cases, wasn't, and united us under a star-lit night.
The sun sets on an eerily dark and abandoned City Hall.
Farewell to a Leader: Whether or not you're into politics (and psst: I'm not), mark this date in your calendar: December 12, 2003. Prime Minister Jean Chrétien, who first presided over Canada in 1993, announced that he would not seek a fourth re-election and stepped down two months earlier than anticipated. Now, there's much debate over how the Liberals rock and how they suck, but you have to admit that his resume is pretty impressive. And his firm stance on the war, despite pressure from the States, was patriotic and brave. He stood up for a nation he believed in, and said, "We will not be bullied!" He made us proud to be Canadian, and for that, Chrétien will always be remembered. ¤ C.Ho.