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This & That:
Bizarro e-mails, I Got Coffee Breath, ninth grade diaries, and more...
Bizarro E-mails
BIRTHDAY ROLL CALL
Come on. We were bound to get some. After all, we are on the Internet. Here are a few of the bizarre e-mails that Michelle's received (she gets the bulk of them, ha ha!):
I said that Pharrell Williams was my man of the year (December 2002) and this girl wrote me to tell me that she agreed with me. Oh, she also took the opportunity to dis me:
I think you are dumb because Pharell Williams has been the man every year he's been making music. Shit, he was the man when he was still in band! So that "award" should go to him every year!Can you tell me if there are gonna be any auditions for a 3rd american idol in the tx. area and when? Thanks.
I don't even know what to say about this e-mail:
I am a 3rd grade teacher and 2 of my students have written a letter to Ashanti, as she is their favorite singer. Could you give us an address to which they can mail their letter? Thank you so much.
My cousin Dwayne said this. Thanks, Dwayne!!??!
Your website reminds me of the powerpuff girls.I haven't received as many bizarre e-mails as Michelle has, but I thought this e-mail was worth mentioning, just because it's sweet and yet scary that someone would actually want to date me:
Hi Christine! Love the site! My best friend was wondering if you have a boyfriend yet? Cause he thinks you sound cute!I Got Coffee Breath
Michelle gets deep…Is It The Heat?
(The Noir Issue, Issue #16)
I love the way of life in Trinidad. You don't need a big house, an expensive car, or anything materialistic to make you happy.It is a less stressful society because they are not caught up in the rat race like us. We are constantly killing ourselves over our jobs. Trinis concentrate on their personal happiness rather than their financial gain. I admire that.
Why I Write
(3rd Anniversary Issue, Issue #21)
Some think that I am a little crazy for pouring my heart and soul into something that doesn't provide any monetary gain. I beg to differ.Writing has to be one of my life's greatest pleasures. It makes me feel good to know that I can affect someone in a positive way. My biggest joys are listening to someone laugh when they read my 'zine, and also listening to someone discuss articles that I wrote. I believe everyone has a passion and it is up to them to fulfill it.
Ninth Grade Diaries
I kept a journal from the ninth grade to the tenth grade. I was philosophical, I was poetic, I was hilarious. Okay, maybe not. But I am waiting for someone to snatch up the rights to the movie.Excerpt from Diary: April 2, 1995.
TOO NAIVE: L--- called me up and asked me if I wanted to go to this Karaoke Bar with her and a bunch of friends that belonged to this Asian Organization. I was reluctant, but then I thought, cool, I get to hang out with kids that belong to a Chinese Club or something. (Later I was to find out that it was NOT a club, but "organization" as in organized crime. Hence the title of this post.) There was a lot of smoking, and I wondered if I was going to get asthma or lung cancer. Some people drank, and this guy got so high he was DEPRESSED.Except from Diary: April 31, 1995.
TEEN ANGST: This guy L--- did a rap for the [talent] show. I didn't understand a word, but he did look adorable. I wouldn't mind getting to know him...yeah, right. He's got a girlfriend, he's popular, and I'm just a niner. He probably doesn't even know I'm alive. How clichéd.Excerpt from Diary: May 19, 1995.
CRUSHES: As I went up the escalator, that guy I ADORE came up the stairs. He reached the door before me, but held it open. I was ecstatic. A little gesture means SO much. How sweet, to wait for me, then hold the door like a gentleman. He didn't exactly HOLD it open, but kept it open until I got there. I mean, he could've just let go, I would've. I was STEPS behind him, not RIGHT behind him. And he held it! Either he's really, really, really polite or had nothing better to do. I realize I'm babbling.Excerpt from Diary: May 25, 1995.
BEING SPIRITUAL: Life is so confusing, eh? I wish it were so easy. I wish someone would tell me the meaning of our existence of Earth. I wonder if there's a Heaven and Hell. I wonder if dogs can talk. I wish dogs could talk....Full House is over! I'll miss it, but not Michelle.E-mail Forward of the Month
You may have received a foward in your inbox telling you to type "weapons of mass destruction" into the Google search bar. Once you hit the "I'm feeling lucky" button, the search engine will take you to an error page. But this isn't an ordinary error page; in fact, it is a satirical webpage created by British pharmacist Anthony Cox. It was created for fun, but has since grown into something of a phenomenon.The top of the page reads, "These Weapons of Mass Destruction cannot be displayed. The weapons you are looking for are currently unavailable. The country might be experiencing technical difficulties, or you may need to adjust your weapons inspectors mandate." It goes on to spoof George Bush, the CIA, and Old European countries.
It may seem like a hack job, but no hacking was involved. The reason why this particular page is displayed is because Google ranks pages by hits; the more hits and links a page receives, the better the result. Cox's page became so popular among friends that it is one of the top ranked pages for a "weapons of mass destruction" search. When you hit the "I'm feeling lucky button" on Google, it will take you to the most popular page.
Try it. I know you want to. ¤ C.Ho.