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This & That:
Career SOS, retro rewind, TV moment of the month…
Career S.O.S.
Living the Hollywood dream is no easy feat, and it’s even harder to maintain the status once it’s there. Let’s take a look at some A-list celebrities that have faltered from their glory days, and why they’re in dire need of a career rescue.
Russell Crowe: L.A. Confidential, The Insider, Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind, Cinderella Man – what do all these films have in common? Well, for starters, they don’t suck. And most importantly, they all star Russell Crowe, who used to be one of the hottest actors in Hollywood. Now what do Proof of Life and A Good Year have in common? They are really, really sucky films. Maybe Crowe’s recent bouts of throwing phones and engaging in brawls have kept him distracted from picking good film roles, or maybe his career missteps are a sign that his hey-days of Gladiator have come to an end. But all hope is not lost yet: with upcoming roles in 3:10 to Yuma, American Gangster (with Common, T.I., and RZA – so maybe not so much), and Scott Ridley’s Nottingham, Crowe’s career may rise out of the ashes like the mythical phoenix. But in order to maintain his A-list status, Crowe needs to keep away from romantic films (or any films that require him to fall in love with someone) and tackle roles where he’s the tragic hero.
That was then: Cuba Gooding, Jr. is just one example of a Hollywood actor that rose to fame (Jerry McGuire, left), only to have it ripped from his hands with one bad move (Snow Dogs, right).
Jennifer Garner: The woman who made “Alias” a household name is probably at home, dusting off her various Golden Globes and SAG Awards, reminiscing of a time when her work wasn’t regaled to such box office disappointments as Elektra and Catch and Release. Admittedly, she did take a much-deserved break to have Ben Affleck’s babies, but her return to acting has been met with lukewarm results at best. She’ll be next appearing in The Kingdom, an ensemble piece about FBI agents investigating a bombing in Saudi Arabia, which may serve to be a smart move considering that she’s yet to become a major solo box office draw. Garner is better off keeping her screen time to a minimum, and choosing roles that provide quality, rather than quantity.
Cuba Gooding, Jr.: Remember 1996? The New York Yankees take the World Series, the rap world loses Tupac Shakur, Janet Jackson is still relevant, scientists discover a meteorite that could prove that there once was life on Mars, and Cuba Gooding, Jr. wins an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. But life after an Oscar is pretty rough (just ask Helen Hunt or Halle Berry), and the pressure of choosing a good – or even passable – role may prove to be downright impossible for some. So what do you do when you win an Oscar for Jerry McGuire? For starters, you don’t follow that up with Rat Race, Snow Dogs, The Fighting Temptations, or Home on the Range. And you certainly don’t follow those up with Norbit and Daddy Day Camp. Gooding needs to lay off the family-friendly comedies and stick to smart comedies or satires helmed by capable directors.
Julianne Moore: There’s no denying that despite how crappy or boring her film roles may be, Julianne Moore has staying power. In a career riddled with both hits (Boogie Nights, The Big Lebowski, Magnolia, The Hours, Children of Men) and misses (The Ladies Man, Laws of Attraction, Freedomland, Next), Moore has managed to stay afloat with a solid project every few years. But as of late, it seems that the good movie roles are few and far apart. Sure, Trust the Man looked good on paper, and Next seemed like an obvious box office choice (without the power of hindsight, of course) – but they’re hardly anything to be proud of. Moore fares well in large ensemble pieces or moody dramas as an oppressed housewife; anything else just looks like The Forgotten.
John Travolta: Don’t call it a comeback, because Travolta’s short-lived glory in the 90s has come to a quick halt. A career that saw Look Who's Talking, Look Who's Talking Too, and Look Who's Talking Now as the only highlights in five years was in need of a vital resurgence. Luckily, the Pulp Fiction script came around, and the rest is history. As Vic Vega, the fast-talking assassin with a fondness for dance contests, Travolta became a cult icon for the next generation of moviegoers. Unfortunately, this only allowed room for Battlefield Earth, Swordfish, and Be Cool to enter our film lexicon as well. With Wild Hogs as his latest entry, Travolta’s career seems to be dying a slow death all over again – and we’re not even counting the upcoming campy Hairspray and ill-conceived Dallas movie. What Travolta needs is to shed his safe choices and pick roles that provide edge, as well as substance. Only then will we finally start to heal from Battlefield Earth.
Retro Rewind
Schemes, double-crossings, steamy hook-ups, and a whole lot of hanging out at the soda shop abound in the classic "Swans Crossing."
Before there was “Hidden Palms” there was “Dawson’s Creek.” And before “Dawson’s Creek” there was “Beverly Hills, 90210.” And even before “Beverly Hills, 90210,” there was a little show called “Swans Crossing.” Teen dramas have become a hot commodity for networks, but back in 1992, the market was fresh, new, and ready to be molded. “Swans Crossing” was by no means an innovator in television writing, or even an example of passable high school drama acting, but its so-bad-it’s-good charm made for a riveting half hour of viewing every weekday afternoon. The teen soap was everything that you’d expect to find on syndicated television, but what made it so much fun was the fact that it never took itself too seriously (for example, the sets were so minimal that they might as well have filmed the whole series on the “Saved by the Bell” soundstage).So what actually happens in the wealthy fictional town of Swans Crossing? The question is, what doesn’t happen in Swans Crossing? There were love triangles, switched birth certificates, scary bald men in black turtlenecks, blackmail plots, unrequited love, kidnap attempts, and people living in submarines; or, in other words, just your basic everyday stuff.
The central (and most fascinating) character of the series is Sydney Rutledge (Sarah Michelle Gellar, showing us that where you get your start doesn’t necessarily facilitate where you’re going to be), the mayor’s spoiled daughter. At the beginning of the series, Sydney is involved in a secret relationship with Garrett Booth (Shane McDermott), the son of an unscrupulous politician. To keep their relationship going, Sydney convinces Garrett to publicly start dating the new girl in town, Mila Rosnovsky (Brittany Daniel). When Garrett actually starts falling for Mila, all hell breaks loose. Supporting characters with their own inter-group dramas include J.T. Adams (Tom Carroll) and his naïve girlfriend, Glory Booth (Carisa Dahlbo), rebel-without-a-cause Jimmy Clayton (Devin Doherty), bad girl Callie Walker (Stacey Moseley), and sycophant Nancy Robbins (Kristy Barbera).
Because of poor ratings, the show lasted a mere sixty-five episodes (roughly two months' worth), but it was one of the best summers of my prepubescent life. The teen actors – although some of the worst to ever graze the small screen – were completely relatable. Some of the plots were beyond ridiculous, as is the norm with most soap operas, but even if the execution wasn’t always the best, the heart was still there. Just watching Sydney plot her way out of lies, double-crossings and deceit was almost as delicious as watching Glenn Close in Dangerous Liaisons, but without murder or sophisticated language. And I’d never lived so vicariously as I did watching Glory receive her first kiss from J. T.
Even if “Swans Crossing” no longer lives on the air, it does live on YouTube, where a kind soul looking to share a bit of television history has posted the whole season (note: the quality of the videos are poor, but when you try to resurrect a fifteen-year-old show, a little give is in order). If you’re looking for nostalgia, absurd plots that will bring a smile to your lips, and a bunch of fifteen-year-olds overdramatizing every little thing, then “Swans Crossing” is where you want to be.
Weird Couple Hook-Ups
Josh Duhamel and Fergie: He’s a former teen heartthrob (ahem, Win A Date With Tad Hamilton!) starring in this summer’s blockbuster, The Transformers; she’s the feisty lead singer of The Black Eyed Peas and has landed on the Worst Dressed List more times than we care to count – not exactly a hook-up that anyone could predict. Now going strong for over a year (and engaged), this bizarre couple has managed to lay low despite their high profiles, although we suspect that Fergie is the one that wears the pants in this relationship.Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis: He’s the little Home Alone kid that’s all grown up now (albeit not in the most graceful post-puberty way possible); she’s air-headed Jackie from “That 70’s Show.” The diminutive couple (she’s 5’3”, he’s 5’7”) shares a love for voice work (they’ve both appeared on “Robot Chicken,” and Kunis voices Meg on “The Family Guy”) that may have very well led to their engagement. This will be the second marriage for Culkin, who previously shed his boy-next-door persona by marrying eighteen-year-old Rachel Miner in 1998.
Michael Bublé and Emily Blunt: He’s a Canadian crooner who scores well with the 45 to 65 age range; she’s the British ingénue who’s already worked with Miranda Richardson, Susan Sarandon, Meryl Streep, and Tom Hanks. A strange love affair, yes, but this couple seems the most down-to-earth compared to their Hollywood peers. Plus, Blunt can enjoy unlimited access to such hits as "Home," "Save The Last Dance For Me," and "Everything.”
John Mayer and Jessica Simpson: He’s the shy, folksy musician who made geeky cool again (as exhibited by the title of his first album, No Room For Squares); she’s the vapid blonde with a defunct reality show and an equally obsolete marriage to a boy band outcast. The strangest hook-up to happen since Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett (we can say, at least, that the latter couple had a total of two brains), this random coupling seems to be as compatible as a banana and two thumbtacks. They say opposites attract, but in this case, it seems that unkempt hair and an ample bosom is just as good.
Mark Burnett and Roma Downey: He’s the creator of such reality shows as “Survivor,” “The Apprentice,” and “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?” (or, in other words, the devil incarnate); she’s the angel on “Touched by an Angel.” The kookiness in the pairing is self-explanatory.
TV Moment of the Month
"Canada's Next Top Model" contestant, Mo, has a minor breakdown when she's cut from the show, while the judges look on, stricken.
No one ever said that reality shows needed to have a soul to survive, and nothing could be further from the truth, especially if you take “Hell’s Kitchen” or “Age of Love” into account. Reality television has carved its place in pop culture by providing television watchers with glorious dramatic tidbits edited into an “entertaining” hour in the hopes that, when it’s all put together post-production, viewers will tune in week after week to see their reality friend or foe succeed or falter. And the more Shakespearian the tragedy, the better.A show that has thrived on harmless drama is “America’s Next Top Model,” which eventually found its way (or spread like an evil virus, depending on your take) to various countries, including Canada. Now in its second season, the cousin to “America’s Next Top Model” is hoping to fill the summer void by running its own version of the show, complete with ten hopeful, naïve girls that seldom have the so-called potential to excel in the competitive world of modeling.
But even though watching these girls self-destruct without the slightest hint of self-awareness may lull away those summer nights, there often comes a time when the reality gets a little too painful.
Contestant Morayo "Mo" Ninalowo was eliminated on the show’s fifth episode, but she didn’t go quietly. In the bottom two, Mo began to weep even before host Jay Manuel could finish delivering his painfully slow, Tyra Banks-inspired elimination monologue. When he presented Tara Winspur with her picture, Mo, overwrought with tears, fell to the ground in a display of tremendous heartache most Hollywood actresses would kill to nail. Wracked with uncontrollable sobs, she let Jay Manuel console her before making her gracious exit, which included thanking the judges and saying good-bye to the remaining contestants. Although Mo was a mediocre model, she acted much classier than most girls who find their dreams shattered by a reality show. Seeing the pain on Mo’s face as she realized that she was being eliminated gave viewers a jarring glimpse of how grim reality can be – especially for those who are living in it.
Somewhere in the distance, you can hear Tyra Banks shake her fist in regret, wishing that she had been the one to console Mo with her best Oprah impression. ¤ C.Ho.