Happygrrls :. To Do List Part II

Christine's To Do List:
I'll do him! Again!

It's been one long year since I compiled my To Do List, and in that year I have managed to cross off zero people from that list. Still, there's nothing wrong with daydreaming and hoping that one day I may cross paths with someone from the list who will find me so utterly desirable that they must have me at that very moment…

My taste hasn't changed much, but some of my to-doers didn't make the cut this time around. I should add another disclaimer in addition to my first (where I basically stated that I will not stalk any of these people nor will I sleep with more than one at a time) - although some people will not be returning this time around, it doesn't mean that they aren't good people or any less desirable - and if any of them are reading this, our server was down and you were inexplicable erased from the list. Call me! ¤ C.Ho.

Dave Foley
Last Year's Position: #1
Who? "Kids in the Hall," "Newsradio"
The Moment: Seeing him live at their reunion show last year.
The Date: We'd sunbathe nude off the coast of Acapulco, and then I'd do him.
Eminem
Last Year's Position: -
Who? Rapper, actor, all-around badass
The Moment: Reviewing The Eminem Show and feeling his soul.
The Date: We'd make fun of people all day long, drink Crystal, hang out with 50 Cent and Dr. Dre, collapse in a fit of giggles, and then I'd do him.
Hugh Grant
Last Year's Position: #5
Who? Notting Hill, Two Week's Notice
The Moment: Sitting through Mickey Blue Eyes and thinking, "This is devotion, baby."
The Date: We'd sit at a small café in Paris, reading poetry to each other. Being consumed with passion, we'd run back to the hotel room, where, after catching my breath, I'd proceed to do him.
Scott Speedman
Last Year's Position: -
Who? "Felicity," Duets, Underworld
The Moment: Watching the last season of "Felicity" and wishing Ben was my boyfriend.
The Date: We'd fight wordlessly, he'd brood in the corner as he's prone to do, and after making up, I'd do him.
Seth Green
Last Year's Position: #12
Who? Austin Powers, The Italian Job
The Moment: Watching him woo Willow as Oz the werewolf on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (no, I don't watch the show, and I so did not cry during the series finale).
The Date: We'd lounge in bed all day, watching television and poking fun of each other (in a lighthearted, not at all mean way), and then I'd roll over and do him.
Owen Wilson
Last Year's Position: -
Who? Behind Enemy Lines, Shanghai Knights
The Moment: Seeing him spoof Harry Potter on The Academy Awards.
The Date: We'd go for a romantic, candlelit dinner, where he'd regale me with wonderful and hilarious stories about working with Jackie Chan and Ben Stiller, I'd tell him that I never liked his brother, then we'd go back to his place and I'd do him.
Orlando Bloom
Last Year's Position: #15
Who? Lord of the Rings II, Pirates of the Caribbean
The Moment: Is there ever a moment needed for Mr. Bloom? He had me at "do me."
The Date: A midnight rendezvous that involved lots of champagne and maybe a little skinny-dipping, followed by a game of chess, followed by I'd do him.
Gary Dourdan
Last Year's Position: -
Who? Soul Food, "CSI"
The Moment: Watching "CSI" and drooling over his pretty, pretty eyes. Oh, and his brain, of course.
The Date: We'd take a stroll though the science museum, where he would impress me with all he's learned from "CSI" and grade 10 biology, we'd eat a hot dog in the park (and I'd proceed to ungracefully get a glob of ketchup on my lip, and he'd wipe it away with a smile and a lingering hand), and then I'd do him. But no, not in the park.
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
Last Year's Position: #8
Who? The Scorpion King, WWE wrestler, and all-around hunk
The Moment: Watching him on "Saturday Night Live" and thinking, "This man isn't the best actor, but he sure is sweet."
The Date: We'd take a stroll by the ocean, where I'd try to take him down with one of my patented wrestling moves. After that fails, I'd do him.
Homer Simpson
Last Year's Position: #7
Who? "The Simpsons"
The Moment: When Lisa envisions her wedding to a Hugh Grant clone, and Homer gives him the pig cufflinks as a wedding present, and Hugh Grant is all snobby and doesn't want to wear them, and Homer pretends it's okay because he wants to see his daughter happy, but Lisa calls off the wedding anyway.
The Date: All-you-can-eat buffet, of course. No thoughts of doing him as he is a cartoon, though.
Kevin James
Last Year's Position: #2
Who? "The King of Queens"
The Moment: Laughing at his sarcasm and thinking, "Hey, this is the man I want to marry."
The Date: We'd laugh and laugh and laugh, share an ice cream sundae, and then I'd do him.
Tobey MacGuire
Last Year's Position: #13
Who? Spider-man, Seabiscuit
The Moment: Watching Pleasantville and drooling over his bedroom eyes.
The Date: We'd spend the weekend at a bed-and-breakfast, where we would alternate between hanging out, eating, and me doing him.
Topher Grace/Danny Masterson
Last Year's Position: #11/ -
Who? "That 70's Show"
The Moment: When Eric was a dumbass and then he was really sweet. When Hyde showed that he really, really cared about Jackie.
The Date: We'd catch a game and drink beers on a lazy Sunday afternoon, and after awaking from my sports-induced coma, I'd do him.
Jude Law
Last Year's Position: -
Who? Road to Perdition, Cold Mountain
The Moment: When I saw him in Enemy at the Gates and finally succumbed to the power of his beauty.
The Date: I'd tell him to sit still so I could stare at him, and then I'd jump him and do him.
Shane West
Last Year's Position: #4
Who? A Walk to Remember, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
The Moment: It's been a while since Mr. West has appeared in anything, so I'll stick to my original answer and say it's when I saw A Walk to Remember.
The Date: We'd dance all night, and then go back to his place, where we'd fall in a heap of exhaustion, but not enough to prevent me from doing him.
Timbaland
Last Year's Position: -
Who? Rapper, producer, Missy Elliott's right-hand man
The Moment: When "Luv to Luv You" came out. Okay, maybe not that long ago. When he started popping up in everyone's songs, like a modern-day P. Diddy.
The Date: I'd freestyle for him (my name is Christine/and I do not like to clean…), he'd laugh at me and tell me that I stink but I'm still cute, we'd frolic in the fields for a while, and then I'd do him.
Ewan McGregor
Last Year's Position: -
Who? Star Wars Episode II, Down With Love
The Moment: Definitely not in Star Wars as the little ponytail did nothing for him. Hmm, probably as love-struck Christian in Moulin Rouge!.
The Date: We'd take in a Broadway show, sing love songs (on the street, very loudly) to each other, and then I'd do him.
Conan O'Brien/Andy Richter
Last Year's Position: - / -
Who? "The Late Show with Conan O'Brien," the defunct "Andy Richter Controls the Universe"
The Moment: Fighting a bout of insomnia and laughing my butt off at 1:00 AM.
The Date: We'd make up silly stories to tell each other, often involving one-eyed dogs, and then I'd do him.