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2004 Readers' Poll:
The best and worst in television and pop culture...
BEST TV SHOW
Who knew geeky forensic science would be so much fun? Our readers did, as CSI is voted Best Television Show.
"CSI" 29.5%
"The Simpsons" 27.3%
"Sex and the City" 18.2%
"Alias" / "The Apprentice" 9.1%
"The Sopranos" 4.5%
"Without a Trace" 2.3%Phan's Pick: "The Apprentice"
Michelle's Pick: "Sex and the City"
Christine's Pick: "The Simpsons"2003 Winner: "Alias" and "The Simpsons" - tie
2002 Winner: "Alias" and "CSI" - tie
Etc.: 2002's winner, "CSI," miraculously comes back to take first place, while last year's winner, "The Simpsons," lands a close second. "Sex and the City" ended its run in 2004, and despite a shortened finale season, still touched 18% of our voters. And what's this? Last year's winner, "Alias," who took home 22% of the votes, only comes up with a measly 9% in 2004, landing it, and egotistic-fantastic Donald Trump, in third place. Someone remind Jennifer Garner that she's dating Ben Affleck, stat! Not that we're saying that he's the kiss of death for anyone's career but…yeah, that's what we're saying after all. And last place "Without a Trace" really lives up to its name.BEST NEW TV SHOW
"Desperate Housewives" 55.3%
"CSI: NY" 21.1%
"Lost" 15.8%
"Joey" 5.3%
"Jack & Bobby" 2.6%Phan's Pick: "Desperate Housewives"
Michelle's Pick: "Desperate Housewives"
Christine's Pick: "Desperate Housewives"2003 Winner: "The O.C."
2002 Winner: "The Osbournes"
Etc.: "Desperate Housewives" woos over half our voters with their sex! Lies! And unhappy housewives with dark secrets! "CSI: NY" is not the same as "CSI" (2003's Best Show honouree), if their distant second place is any indication. "Lost," another media darling, only managed to snag 15% of votes, while the WB's "Jack and Bobby," a drama about the future president's childhood, lands in last place. NBC's shaky sitcom "Joey" edges it out by a mere 3%, which is still better than "House" and "Veronica Mars," who got 0% of votes.BEST TV ACTOR
Marcia Cross, "Desperate Housewives" 23.7%
Jennifer Garner, "Alias" 18.4%
Adam Brody, "The O.C." / James Gandolfini, "The Sopranos" / Lauren Graham, "Gilmore Girls" 13.2%
Jason Bateman, "Arrested Development" 10.5%
Marg Helgenberger, "CSI" 7.9%Phan's Pick: Adam Brody, "The O.C."
Michelle's Pick: Jennifer Garner, "Alias"
Christine's Pick: Jason Bateman, "Arrested Development"2003 Winner: Jennifer "don't judge me by the men I date, although all the men I date are co-stars that I soon tire of and dump" Garner, "Alias"
2002 Winner: N/A
Etc.: Hurray for Marcia Cross, who is one of the best things about "Desperate Housewives," and who sorely lost out to her co-star, Terri Hatcher, at the Golden Globes. Hey Marcia, here at Happygrrls, we simply lurve you! And it's not only because you were wickedly evil in "Melrose Place," although no one will soon forget the wig-ripping-off scene. Jennifer Garner sits comfortably in second place, although over at the Best TV Show category, "Alias" was far from favourite. And even though "CSI" wins for Best TV Show, Marg Helgenberger will have to settle for last place.
WORST TV SHOW
And the winner is..."The Swan," for possibly being the worst show on network television, ever.
"The Swan" 44.7%
"My Big Fat Obnoxious (insert title here)" 26.3%
"For Love or Money" 18.4%
"Quintuplets" 5.7%
"Listen Up" / "The Savages" 2.6%Phan's Pick: "For Love or Money"
Michelle's Pick: "The Swan"
Christine's Pick: "The Swan"2003 Winner: "Paradise Hotel"
2002 Winner: "The Bachelor"
Etc.: As much as "The Swan" continues to air, 44% of our readers simply despise it. FOX's "My Big Fat Obnoxious…" series is a distant second, while NBC's "For Love or Money" comes in third. Is it a coincidence that the top three are comprised of reality shows, of which 2/3 can be seen on FOX? Is it a coincidence that our previous winners, "Paradise Hotel" and "The Bachelor," are also reality shows? Our comedy shows offerings land on the bottom of the list, possibly because no one has ever heard of them and therefore do not know to what extent they suck. And our yearly offering of a David E. Kelley show, this year being "Boston Legal" (and in previous years being "The Practice" and "Boston Public"), got 0% of the votes.TV SHOW THEY SHOULD JUST END NOW
"Survivor" 28.6%
"The Bachelor" 21.4%
"7th Heaven" 16.7%
"Charmed" 11.9%
"Fear Factor" 9.5%
"The (insert celebrity name here) Show" 7.1%
"E.R." 4.8%Phan's Pick: "The Bachelor"
Michelle's Pick: "Survivor"
Christine's Pick: "7th Heaven" ("The (insert celebrity name here) Show" came a close second, and will probably become first when Jennifer Lopez gets her own reality show)2003 Winner: "Joe Millionaire"
2002 Winner: "The Bachelor" and all shows like it
Etc.: We knew that if we kept adding "7th Heaven" to the poll, it would eventually prompt our readers to vote for it. In 2002, the WB show was offered up as Worst TV Show, and received 0% of the votes. In 2003, "7th Heaven" received 4% of the votes for TV Show They Should Just End Now, and this year we are proud to say that 16% of respondents thought it was due for the axe. "The Bachelor" was voted second, and coincidentally also received about 20% of votes last year. But the biggest winner (or loser, depending on which way the coin is facing) is "Survivor," which starts its tenth season in 2005. "Fear Factor" also doubled its votes from last year, and "E.R." can breathe a little easier in its last place (although this still doesn't necessarily mean that people watch it), while "The (insert celebrity name here) Show" barely beats it for sixth place.BEST REAL-LIFE COUPLE
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith 39.0%
Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston 26.8%
Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz 12.2%
Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow / Jake Gyllenhaal and Kirsten Dunst 7.3%
Jay-Z and Beyonce 4.9%
Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore 2.4%Phan's Pick: Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith
Michelle's Pick: Jay-Z and Beyoncé
Christine's Pick: Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz2003 Winner: Brad "I was always the better looking one" Pitt and Jennifer "please, bitch" Aniston
2002 Winner: Ozzy "mumble, mumble, swear word" Osbourne and Sharon "I can't believe they cancelled my daytime talk show…Americans have no taste, and also smell" Osbourne
Etc.: Now that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston have split, for reasons not clearly known, it's time to reflect on Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith, whose marriage seems to be the strongest in Hollywood, despite Smith's overblown ego and Pinkett-Smith's smothering nature. Having appeared on all of our previous polls, the couple went from second place in 2002, to third in 2003, to first in 2004. And May/November relationships, like that of Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz, and Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, might still squick out some of our readers. Readers don't seem impressed with music power-couple Jay-Z and Beyoncé, who failed to place last year and come in second last in 2004. Jake Gyllenhaal (who strangely looks like ex-boyfriend Tobey McGuire) and Kirsten Dunst, who had a much-publicized break-up and reconciliation in 2004, only managed to make 7% of our readers care.BEST GOSSIP
Ashlee Simpons "losing her voice" on "SNL" 30.2%
Britney Spears got married...and had to buy her own rock! 20.9%
Wardrobe malfuctions as experienced by Janet Jackson 13.9%
CBS's forged documents re: George Bush's military service / Tara Reid exposing her breast to the world 11.6%
Michael Jackson's ongoing child molestation charges 7.0%
Mary-Kate...or Ashley - whichever one had anorexia 4.7%Phan's Pick: Ashlee Simpson "losing" her voice on "Saturday Night Live"
Michelle's Pick: Ashlee Simpson "losing" her voice on "Saturday Night Live"
Christine's Pick: Ashlee Simpson "losing" her voice on "Saturday Night Live"2003 Winner: Michael "I really want to knock that Eminem kid upside the head" Jackson's child molestation charges
2002 Winner: R. "I swear, 15 is the youngest I'll go" Kelly's statutory rape charges
Etc.: 2004 was plagued with rumours, gossip, and scandals. But none was greater than Ashlee Simpon's "most embarrassing moment, like ever" outing on "Saturday Night Live," and who seems to have a long road ahead for recovery. A close second was Britney Spears, who apparently has stinky feet and a deadbeat husband. Journalistic scandals tie with Tara Reid's breasts, while last year's winner, and the Olsen twins, fall in last places. Hey, did the FCC have it wrong? Only 13% of respondents think that Janet Jackson's breast is gossip-worthy.
WORST CELEBRITY STYLE
Is Paris Hilton hot? Our readers say...no. What kind of bet do you have to lose to wearing something like that?
Paris Hilton, just because 27.9%
Ashlee Simpson, because she unsuccessfully revived the "I am a rocker/drag queen" look of yesteryear punk 25.6%
Shania Twain, for redefining country as corny 14.0%
Courtney Love, for the heroin-chic look 11.6%
Beyoncé, because she wears fur 9.3%
Britney Spears, for not wearing any clothes 7.0%
Christina Aguilera, for her Marylin Monroe rip-off 4.7%Phan's Pick: Shania Twain, for redefining country as corny
Michelle's Pick: All of the above
Christine's Pick: Ashlee Simpson, because she unsuccessfully revived the "I am a rocker/drag queen" look of yesteryear punk2003 Winner: Kelly "papa don't preach - especially about my look" Osbourne's trying-too-hard-to-be-punk retro look
2002 Winner: Britney "I really wanted to start a fashion revolution, but all I got was this lousy piece of underwear" Spears' underwear over outerwear combo
Etc.: 2002's winner, Britney Spears, will have to settle for a sixth place, while her sworn enemy, Christina Aguilera, apparently off the drugs and all cleaned up now, leaves relatively unscathed (down from 2003's second place). We didn't think Paris Hilton needed a particular reason to appear on this list, and 27.9% of readers agreed. Ashlee Simpson edges out Shania Twain to land in second, while Courtney Love gets no love from fourth place.MOST OVERRATED CELEBRITY
Lindsay Lohan 27.9%
Britney Spears 23.3%
Colin Farrell 11.6%
Ashton Kutcher / Ben Affleck / the FCC 9.3%
Eminem / Madonna 4.7%Phan's Pick: Britney Spears
Michelle's Pick: Paris Hilton
Christine's Pick: Colin Farrell2003 Winner: Bennifer
2002 Winner: Jennifer "if you had my love, I'd divorce you in three seconds" Lopez
Etc.: Isn't it strange how we always offer up the same celebrities on the Most Overrated list? Makes you wonder, and yet, newcomer Lindsay Lohan got top votes for being all over the media despite the fact that she appeared in a total of one film in 2004 (that being Mean Girls - does Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen count if no one has seen it?). Britney Spears, always a staple of such lists, lands in second, up one spot from last year's poll. Colin Farrell, who has never had a hit film despite being the "It Boy," comes in third with 11% of votes (up from 7% last year), and beats out Eminem and Madonna, who had the highest-grossing tour of 2004 and wowed audiences with her scary flexible yoga moves. The FCC, Ben Affleck, and "Punk'd"'s Ashton Kutcher tie for fourth place.BEST ATHLETE
Kyle Shewfelt, Canadian Olympic Gymnast 24.4%
Perdita Felicien, Canadian Olympic Women's Hurdler 22.0%
Jalen Rose, Chris Bosh, and Rafer Alston, Toronto Raptors / Vijay Singh, PGA 17.1%
The NHL Player Agent (since there's a lock-out in the NHL, the hardest working "athletes" are the agents) 12.2%
Damon Allen, Toronto Argonauts 4.9%
Vince Carter, Toronto Raptors 2.4%Phan's Pick: Rose, Bosh, and Alston, Toronto Raptors
Michelle's Pick: Rose, Bosh, and Alston, Toronto Raptors
Christine's Pick: Vijay Singh, PGA2003 Winner: Tiger "I wish I were still humble, but come on, would you be if you slept on a pile of money every night?" Woods, PGA
2002 Winner: Allen "I can't believe you excluded me from this list" Iverson, Philadelphia 76ers
Etc.: The summer Olympics made us proud of Kyle Shewfelt and Perdita Felicien, proving that preempting all of our shows for two weeks straight doesn't matter. The Raptors, as a collective force, manage to swoop 17% of votes, while Vince Carter, ex-Raptor player, and most overrated, if you ask us, comes in last with a paltry 2.4%, a very distant number considering that he placed second in 2002's Best Athlete category. In other news, a whole bunch of other people also place on our list.Ah, so now we come to the portion where we wrap up 2004 and head into 2005. Thank you for continuing to let us know what you loved and hated about the year! Stay tuned for 2005. It's going to be a trip!
[ From best song to worst artist. Part I of our Readers' Poll. ]