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Online Dating:
A Happygrrls experiment...
Posted below are the actual profiles I used for each website. Please read with discretion - they're all quite cheesy.Lavalife
Is everybody looking for something? Then tell me what you're looking for. It may be me, it may not. But we'll never know until we try.When people try to describe me, I always hear a different answer. And it's not because I have a multiple personality disorder. It's hard to encompass a person in so many words...words can paint a picture, and a picture can paint words, but nothing can quite capture the essence of a person. But if you want me to make it simple, I've heard "quirky" many times before, so I'll stick to that. I was very tempted to check off "cat person" in the how friends describe you section, but seeing as how I don't own any cats, that would be a lie.
I've always said that Homer Simpson would be my ideal husband. He has a heart of gold, and his love of food gives us something in common right off the bat. I also think walks on the beach are over-rated. No one ever talks about the rocks in the sand or the multitudes of dirt flying in your eyes or the weird smell coming from the water.
Send a smile my way. Life is nothing without a little smile.
Two Weeks Later...
After two weeks on Lavalife, I feel I should clear up some things:#1 - My hair does not usually look that full and vibrant. I was just having a good hair day.
#2 - Homer Simpson is my ideal husband. I will admit that with a straight face.
#3 - I am in no way related to Lucy Liu, Jackie Chan, or your local convenience store manager.
#4 - I am very open-minded, except when it comes to wearing socks with sandals.
#5 - Contrary to popular belief, I am not attracted to people who like to tell me that they're well hung, can go all night, or starred in porn. Well, not on the first date, anyway.Send a smile my way. Life is nothing without a little smile.
And if you have even more time, drop me an e-mail and tell me how your day is going.
PS: My computer was built in the 1600's and so does not support the chat function. If you message me, chances are I won't see it - send me an e-mail instead.
Spark
What they say about themselves: I'm quirky, funny, and a little adventurous. I enjoy the simpler things in life and believe that you once live once. I'm currently in school and working, and in my off-time I like to relax, write, and crochet socks for my 25 cats. Just kidding about the last part.What they say about their Match: My ideal match is funny, intelligent, and outgoing. I'm not into the superficialities of dating, nor do I actively seek out people who talk like me, look like me, or agree to everything I have to say. A little spark is always nice.
Date
I think it's a little weird that this section is called "Essay," seeing as how no one here really wants to hear how I spent my summer vacation. Since I'm not allowed to write my address in this section, I'll just stick to the basics and tell you that I like walks on the beach and candlelit dinners. And, oh yes, kittens and rainbows make me cry. I'm looking for someone who is smart, funny, ambitious, off-beat, independent, sensitive and loves food as much as I do. Please don't tell me you can go all night or that you're hung like a horse...while that may be all good and true, it's not going to make my heart beat any faster.Matchopolis
It's extremely difficult to post something in this space without trying to sell myself to you. As I have no sales skills to speak of, I would probably end up writing something about how I have a weird phobia of flying squirrels, and you'd shake your head in shame and skip to the next profile.And if I started describing my ideal partner, I would probably ramble on and on about men who wear socks with sandals or leave the toilet seat up or think that telling me they're hung like a horse is witty and enticing.
I think I'll skip all that and just say that I'm a simple girl looking for a simple guy. Kind of like Jack and Jill. Yeah, that's right, Jack and Jill. I'm looking for someone to fetch a pail of water with. If you think you can handle it, drop me a note.
So, which one got the best response? Lavalife Ad #2.
[ Christine tries to sound well-rounded and fun-loving. Part I of the article. ]