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Dear Angry Black Grrl:
From crush to date, my mom got her groove back, catty friends...
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
GOT A QUESTION?
ADVICE OF THE MONTH
My aunt recently passed away. We were close, and I am devastated. I'm in the process of healing after my loss, and my close friends have been great and supportive and let me know that they're thinking about me. Except for one friend, who hasn't called. In fact, when I told him about it, he told me he was sorry and then switched the subject. I know it shouldn't bother me, but it kind of does. I guess I'm just disappointed in him. Should I let this affect our friendship?
LaurenI'm sorry for your loss, Lauren.
I don't think that you should let your friend's silence bother you. Everyone deals with tragedy in different ways. Maybe your friend doesn't know what to say to you, so he'd rather not say anything. Don't be angry with him. It is such a small matter that should not affect your friendship. Keep your head up, girl.
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
My friend has dumped her boyfriend for another guy. I am fiercely loyal to her, but I think she treated her ex like crap and I don't like it - namely the cheating, but there are other things I thought she was very insensitive about. Should I say something to her? It's her life, but still...you don't treat people like that, right?
K. R.Getting in someone's personal business, especially in his or her relationship, is very tricky. It's good to give advice, but I would steer clear of telling anyone that it was all their fault. They might see it as a personal attack, and retaliate.
When she decides to talk about her past relationships and asks you for your opinion, then you can tell her to think back to how she treated her past boyfriends. I would ask her how she would feel if someone treated her the way that she treated her exes. Hopefully towards the end of the conversation, she will analyze her past choices and see where she might have gone wrong.
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
I have been crushing on this guy for months. It's hard for me to flirt since I'm so shy, but I've been putting as much effort as I can considering I'm not the most outgoing person in the world. I think he likes me too. He's always given me positive signals, and invited me out with his friends a couple of times. I'm just not sure how to push this flirtation into a relationship. Should I wait for him to make a move (if he ever does)? What's a shy grrl like me to do?
Timid About LoveGirl, your shyness is cute and sweet, but that ain't gonna help you get that man! You need to let him know that you are interested. He's already asked you to go out with him and his friends, so why don't YOU try asking him out with just the two of you. If he says yes, then you're good to go; if he says no, then he probably just sees you as one of the boys. Good luck girl!
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
My parents are divorced, and I live with my mom. She's recently started to date. Since my dad was a deadbeat and treated her horribly, I'm very happy for her second chance at happiness. What I'm not happy about is that her current boyfriend is twenty years younger than she is, making him two years older than me. I just feel weird about the whole thing, considering that he could potentially be my future stepfather. Should I brood quietly, or be more vocal?
Grossed OutOh, your mom got her groove back!! Get your freak on, mama!
First thing is first, is your mom happy? Does this man treat her right? If the answer for both is yes, then I think that YOU have the problem. If he is not mistreating her or hurting her, why are you angry? Like R. Kelly said, "age ain't nothing but a number (bad example, but you know what I mean), so let your mom enjoy herself.
I know that it might be a little embarrassing to know that your mom is dating someone so young, but it is her relationship, not yours. If it is a casual thing or even if they in fact get married, their happiness is all that matters. Stop hatin'!
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
I recently got a promotion at work, which comes with a hefty paycheck. I took some friends out for celebratory drinks, and we all had a good time. The next day, my friend tells me that another friend, Paula, was talking about me the whole night and said she was tired of me bragging about my salary and acting like a show-off. Huh?!? We went out to celebrate once, and that has been the extent of my talking about my promotion. We had a lot to drink that night, so maybe Paula was drunk and didn't really mean it. Or maybe she's a bitch. Which one would you pick?
Not Showing Off At AllI choose the second option. Kidding! I don't think your friend is a bitch, I think that she might feel a little jealous of your success. You're doing well, making money and being praised at your job for your accomplishments. Maybe Paula just feels a little inferior. If she continues to talk smack about you, then you need to put her in her place. ¤ Michelle