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Dear Angry Black Grrl:
The work edition...
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
GOT A QUESTION?
ADVICE OF THE MONTH
Help! Several nights ago, I went out for drinks with some of my co-workers and friends. One of my supervisors showed up, and by the end of the night he was smitten with my friend. It seems like it’s mutual, because she’s already asked me if her dating my superior would bother me. I told her that it would make me uncomfortable and that it would put me in an awkward position, but I can tell that she likes him and wants to see him again. I do want to see my friend happy, especially since she’s going through a hard time with her family, but I’m worried about the long-term repercussions. Am I being too harsh? Too selfish?
N. T.Dear N. T.,
They haven’t even gone on one day yet and you’re already actin’ like they’re about to be married! You need to chill!I’m sure that it might get a little complicated for you if your boss and friend were to date. I for one would not want any of my friends to date my boss or anyone that I work with. Your social life and your work life will unfortunately become intertwined. And I’m sure that’s not appealing to you!
If you feel a little weirded out by the situation, try to not be involved in their budding relationship. You may want to be up front with them both and let them know that if things get serious, they should not discuss their relationship woes with you.
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
I feel like I’m stuck in a dead end job. I’ve been passed up for promotions more times than I can count, even though I’ve been competent enough to pass all my quarterly evaluations. I’ve lost the drive and passion I used to have for my job. I think it’s time for a career change, but I’m scared. Where should I start?
Desperately Seeking Better WorkDear Desperately Seeking Better Work,
Don’t be afraid! It’s better to find out now that you’re not satisfied with your current situation than investing ten years into a job and then finding out that that you hate it.The first thing that you need to do is figure out what you really want to do. Are you looking for a career or a job? A career is something that is long term and a job may be something just to pay the bills. You should also take into consideration the skills that you possess. Perhaps you might need to go back to school to achieve your goals.
If you need a little more guidance and help, I suggest that you visit an employment resource centre. They have tons of resources that can help you on your job search. Good luck!
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
I’m very peeved at one of my co-workers. I threw a party last month, and since my place is small, I wanted to keep it intimate. I selected a few friends to invite, and sent out a mass e-mail. This is why I’m upset: first, my co-worker never gave me a concrete RSVP, and when I asked him if he was coming, he said that he’d “think about it.” Because of his beating around the bush, I took it as a no and prepared enough food and stocked enough drinks in the bar for the people that had RSVPed. My co-worker did end up coming, but he was two hours late and showed up with a ten-person entourage. I took him aside and mentioned that he should have called to let me know, and he apologized and explained that he had a prior engagement that fell through, and then couldn’t call to let me know that he was coming because he conveniently left my number in his other jacket pocket. Well, it turns out that there were enough provisions for everyone, and the night turned out to be a lot of fun, but I’m still very upset. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? Should I talk to him again and let him know how I feel? I don’t want to beat a dead horse since I accepted his apology, but then again, I don’t want people stepping all over my feelings.
Hassled HostessDear Hassled Hostess,
I do think that you were a little too nice to the guy. Not only was he late, but he brought a herd of people? I wouldn’t have let him or his friends up in my place!However, I wouldn’t chastise him for the millionth time for not RSVPIng. You already took him aside and let him know how you felt. You didn’t have to let him in if you were that upset. Next time, look through the peephole!
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
I have a sneaking suspicion that my co-worker is stealing stuff from my desk. Though I can’t prove it, I’ve noticed her stalling after work hours, almost as if she’s waiting for me to leave. The first time she stayed “overtime,” my watch went missing the next day. On other occasions, it’s been a chocolate bar, petty change, a hair clip. I’ve taken to leaving nothing of value at my desk, but I can’t shake the violated feeling that after work, someone is pawing through my stuff. What should I do?
Creepin’ Co-Worker WoesDear Creepin’ Co-Worker Woes,
You can solve your problem in one of two ways: 1. you can jack her and get all your stuff back; or 2. you can use a more professional approach. You can tell your superiors that a few things from your workstation have gone missing. You don’t necessarily have to point the finger at anyone in particular, but it’s good that you’ve alerted your boss to the five-finger discount going on at work. If I were you, I would choose my first suggestion! Kidding!Dear Angry Black Grrl,
My stupid co-workers won’t return my stapler to my desk when they’re done. It’s been going on for six months, and my annoyance has reached its peak. What can I do to make them understand that they have no common courtesy and personal regard for other people’s things?
I’m Going To Beat Someone With My StaplerDear I’m Going To Beat Someone With My Stapler,
This is easy. When your co-workers borrow your things, politely tell them that you would like them returned ASAP. If they don’t comply with your request, go over to their desk and retrieve your belongings. Problem solved! ¤ Michelle