Friends vs. lovers...
Puppy love: the stage where everything revolves around you and him. Then, your girlfriends scream, "What about us?!" Juggling relationships is not an easy task when you enjoy spending every moment with your new found love. Well, hopefully your girlfriends allow you some time to enjoy that puppy love phase. But remember to come up for some air or you may find your friends have done a disappearing act themselves. All relationships need nurturing; you get what you give. So, how do you make time for everyone in your life?
Friends vs. lovers: who wins?
When Ed and I began dating, we were like partners in crime, we did almost everything together (not anything criminal though). We just happened to have many common interests and we were always up for trying out new things. It wasn't until my girlfriend, Quyen, sat me down to talk about our relationship. Was I neglecting her? Oh my goodness, I didn't think I was. She knows she's always welcome to come out with us…hmm, but who wants to always hang around a "mushy" couple?
What do I do now?
Well, I had to start setting dates with my girlfriends (girls only). "But I want to spend time with Ed too, stop whining," I'd think to myself. So, I took on the task of hanging out with the girls. And, what was I complaining about?! I had a great time. I forgot about how much fun I used to have with them. And, the things I've missed (so, the world does go on without me)! Chatting, relating, advising, shopping…there are just some things that girlfriends are great at. So, this became a regular thing. There are days for just me and the girls.
Another way that I balance out my relationships is by hanging out in groups. Anybody is invited, the more the merrier. It's a great chance to meet your friends' boyfriends or girlfriends, in a fairly relaxed atmosphere. Everyone's just there to have fun. I really enjoy group outings because I can spend time with Ed and catch up with friends. I wouldn't suggest the movies though, who can chat there anyways? Try going for dinner, desserts, and/or drinks. And, activities are more fun when done in groups, like going to amusement parks, bowling, karaoke, etc.
Remember the reasons why you have different relationships. They are all fulfilling in different ways, as long as you put in the effort. Good friends are hard to find, so learn how to keep them. Enjoy! ¤ Phan