| |
Dear Angry Black Grrl:
Cheating deadbeats, unsightly body odor, making the first move...
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
GOT A QUESTION?
ADVICE OF THE MONTH
I am a 27-year-old, RN, with a good head on my shoulders and a big soft heart....10 months ago, I met a guy who swept me off my feet, despite lying about his age, occupation and level of education. Although we had a lot in common, he's always had problems with lying and stealing....why would I even want to be with someone like that? I've helped him through legal problems, supported him financially, and bought him all kinds of expensive gifts. Despite his serious flaws, he's made me very happy by catering to me and proclaiming his undying devoted love for me. WELL, I found out that three weeks ago, he cheated on me with a 17-year-old girl. The girl has no job, no car, no money, and to be honest, she's not even the slightest bit attractive. I have my own car, place, money, horses, and I'm pretty! He said he cheated because he didn't know where I was all day and was starting to feel insecure...come on! (Needless to say, I beat the living hell out of him when I found out. I used anything I could get my hands on to hurt him, and I took back everything I ever gave him, even all of his boots and shoes, all he has is a pair of slippers...and now he looks like he's been run over by a train....but I still feel like what he did was worse.) Why would he downgrade cheat? I would have thought at least she'd be prettier than me or something....but she was a loser like him. So now he wants me to take him back and is crying and begging for forgiveness. I miss him, but I don't want to be hurt like that ever again. I don't know what to do. Should I give him another chance to hurt me all over again? Should I get revenge? What would you do? Thanks.
Too Damn NiceDear Too Damn Nice,
Grrl, I gotta give you props. I don’t know anyone who put the beat down on her cheatin’ man. Not that I condone violence towards anyone, but it’s kinda funny that you went Ike Turner on his ass! There are a couple of men that I would like to put the smack down on, too!All I have to ask you is, do you really want a man that has a history of lying and stealing? Do you really think you deserve to be with a guy that cheated on you? Do you want a man that hurt you so bad that your were forced to physically harm him? I think that answer is clear. But just in case it isn’t, I think that you need to stay the hell away from that guy! Grrl, you don’t need him!
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
I used to be very good friends with Tom, but with work and new boyfriends/girlfriends, we’ve drifted in the past couple of years. However, I always make an effort to see him at least once a year, which usually happens to be on his birthday. We used to trade gifts as good friends, but since our friendship has cooled, I usually get him something small, like a gift certificate. This year, I didn’t get him anything, and I heard from a mutual friend that he was offended, even though I wasn’t the only person that showed up empty-handed. I don’t think that I should be made to feel guilty, especially since he has completely forgotten my birthday on several occasions, let alone given me something for my birthday. Should I be indignant, or should I suck it up and apologize?
Hypocrisy SucksDear Hypocrisy Sucks,
Do not apologize! I’m not saying that you should be a big baby about the situation and hold a grudge over a birthday gift, but why should you apologize for not buying him a gift? He didn’t buy you one either! Nor did he remember your birthday!If you want to hold on to this fading friendship, then you should ask him if he is upset with you. If he is, then ya’ll need to discuss why. If he says it’s because he didn’t receive a gift, then forget him. He’s a little too childish and selfish to be considered a good friend.
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
I think my co-worker has a body odour problem. Should I say something?
I Sit Next To Pepe LepieuDear I Sit Next To Pepe Lepieu,
I don’t think it’s a good idea to say something directly to your co-worker. You don’t want to cause a scene or offend them. You might want to mention something to the Human Resources Manager and let them deal with it (this happened to someone at one of my previous jobs, and the HR manager spoke to the employee).This is delicate situation, so try to be sensitive. If all else fails, plug your nose!
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
I’ve had a crush on someone for a long time, but I don’t know how to turn this crush into something more. Here’s the deal: we met through mutual friends, and got along so well that traded numbers that same night. Since then, we’ve talked on the phone at least once a week, and instant message during work. I feel like we have a great rapport, and we share so many laughs. But he hasn’t made any suggestions about going out! I would have done this myself by now, had I not been too shy to propose something. I’m almost positive there’s something there, but when it comes to being forward, I just can’t seem to find the right words. What should I do?
Crazy in CrushDear Crazy in Crush,
Even though I consider myself to be a timid grrl, when it comes to someone that I like, I have no problems going after him!If you are talking on a weekly basis and have a great rapport, it’s safe to assume that there is something there. Perhaps he’s shy too? That could be why he hasn’t asked you out. I think you should ask him out! Start small by asking him to go for coffee after work (going for coffee isn’t as scary as going out for a “typical date” like dinner and a movie). I know that you are shy, but it’s better to find out now if he likes you, instead of waiting in vain. Don’t worry grrl, you can do it! ¤ Michelle