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Dear Angry Black Grrl:
Keeping the passion alive, cheaters, first date ideas...
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
GOT A QUESTION?
ADVICE OF THE MONTH
My boyfriend and I have been together for a long time, and although we love each other very much, I find that it's hard to be as passionate as we used to be. When we're intimate, he does the deed, and then rolls over and goes to sleep. I don't want to hurt his ego, but I'm afraid that if things don't get better I won't find him sexually attractive anymore. What can I do to rekindle the flames?
H.T.Have a romantic evening to yourselves. Get dressed up and go out on the town. Have sex in the middle of the day. Tell him all your wild fantasies. Ravage him like you've never ravaged anyone before. Basically, do all the things that you used to do at the beginning of the relationship, when you couldn't keep your hands off each other. Hopefully he'll get the hint and reciprocate. But remember, you can't do it alone. If he's still a lump in bed after all that, then it's time to have a talk. Don't accuse him of anything; gently tell him how you're feeling and how you'd like things to be. If he cares about the relationship, he'll try.
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
I recently found out that my ex-boyfriend had been cheating on me. We're obviously not together anymore, and I could care less about what he's doing now, but I'm really upset about it and out for some blood. Should I call him on it, or should I just scratch up his car?
Bitter Asian GrrlDamn girl, you are really bitter, aren't ya??? I know that you are hurt and upset about what he did, but think about it - there is a reason why you guys aren't together. So forget his cheating ass and find a new man!!
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
I'm really attracted to this guy, but the thing is that he's totally wrong for me. All my friends tell me that I shouldn't pursue this because I'll end up getting hurt in the end. I don't want to get hurt, but I do like him and I think he feels the same way. Should I be sensible about this or should I give in to my feelings? And why do good girls always fall for bad guys?
W.C.Good girls fall for bad guys because they have this unattainable quality that attracts us to them. It's a challenge to change that bad boy into a choir boy, but sometimes it's hard to try to reform their deviant way, especially if they're not ready. You seem like you know that he isn't the one for you, so ask yourself if you're willing to take such a chance with your heart. If the answer is yes, then go for it. But if you want someone who can give you what you want, the best bet is to look elsewhere.
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
I recently hooked up with an ex for a night out. I'm currently involved, and so is he. Well, one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together. We swore we'd never do this again, and I certainly don't want to. Should I come clean to my boyfriend?
L.P.Sounds like someone has been creepin'!!! No offence L.P., but if you did it once, I know for damn sure that you will do it again. Either you tell your man the truth or you live with it on your conscious.
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
What's a nice activity to do on a first date? I kind of want to stay away from the usual dinner-and-a-movie deal.
B.D.Look through your local paper for some ideas, such as gallery openings, jazz concerts, and off-Broadway plays. The best thing to do on a first date is an activity where you'll have time to talk and get to know each other better. Skip the movie, as sitting next to him in the dark for two hours not saying a word is like sleeping next to him, and you don't want to do that until a couple of dates later. Kidding aside, if you're into outdoor sports, you can also go rollerblading, jogging, or hiking. The best first date is one that is not "traditional." Shake things up a little and give him an unforgettable time. ¤ Michelle