Sometimes ex-boyfriends suck...
WHERE WERE WE?
A big shout-out goes to Cosmo's Dating Diary, which is a heck of a lot more interesting than mine.
After proclaiming to the world wide net that my mojo was missing, I received an outpour of mail from people who supported me and sympathized with me.
Just kidding. No one really cared.
But regardless, I became a woman clearly bent on making it my destiny to find it again. Unfortunately, that plan disintegrated even before it was implemented, and I retreated to my haven (the couch) to have me some deep soul-searching (aided with a little mint chocolate chip, of course). The problem, I soon discovered, was that everyone in the friggin' universe - besides me - is not single. That is, every new person I meet seems to be involved in a relationship, so immediately they are in no-macking territory. I present you with exhibit A: within any group of close-knit friends, I am always the single, quirky "gal pal." Which isn't so bad, but it has its drawbacks. I am usually delegated the "surrogate" girlfriend for the night, someone to fill the seat when the girlfriend can't make it. On top of that, I don't even get free dinner.
I guess I must explain how I found myself in this predicament. I wasn't always the Asian "bitter grrl." There was a time when I enjoyed puppies and flowers and all that rosy stuff.
You see, I dated someone for about a year. The relationship ended on, what I presumed at the time, a bittersweet note. We parted ways, promising that we would remain friends. Unfortunately, the friendship died when the relationship did, and we haven't really spoken since. This is someone that I would have trusted my life with, but now I see that I was very naïve about certain things.
I was ready to put it all behind me, when karma came and bit me on the ass. What's worse than finding out your boyfriend is cheating on you? How about finding out about it six months after you've broken up, the infidelity having gone on right under your nose the whole time? In retrospect, I was probably too blinded by my faith in him to see that there were warning signs. Incidentally, a big shout-out goes to the person who informed me of this betrayal, a year and a half too late. You can bet her motto is, "Better late than never."
People lie, and people cheat. I'm not that naïve, I've come to except that things like this happen. Sometimes it's easier to lie than to tell the truth, or better yet, not say anything at all. I may be a lot of things, but a cheater I am not. This experience has opened my eyes to many things, but I can't say it's all positive. Have I lost my faith? Being in a self-destructive relationship can do that to you.
Although I am disappointed in him beyond words (okay, not beyond words, but I don't think I should print these certain words on our site), I am not as devastated as I thought I would be. I kind of feel relieved, actually, that the feelings of hostility towards him have a newfound meaning now. Forgive and forget, right? It's a hard thing to do when the other person hasn't asked for your forgiveness. Things like this have just reminded me of how far behind I have left the past, and how, for the first time in a long time, I'm ready to dream about the future. That doesn't mean that I haven't contemplated writing his full name and address here so that everyone can go to his house and tell him what a big jackass he is.
What's with this new attitude? I reckon it's because spring is finally here, and lovin' is in the air. There's just something about the warm weather and endless nights that can thaw even the most frigid mojo. (Cue the Grease music here, which, by the way, is not one of my favourite movies, but I quite enjoyed it nonetheless.) For me, the summer is a time of endless possibilities, where you let your imagination do all the talking. The true test of a summer romance is keeping the passions alive as the weather cools off. I've had my share of summer flings, and although they can't beat a long-term relationship, sometimes it's the perfect remedy for any girl's mending heart. As a friend noted about my Saharan social life, "It's almost summer now…I'm sure you're going to meet someone." Of course, that's what all involved friends tell their single friends to make them feel better. ¤ C.Ho.
You think that I'm just a little bitter? Yes, and it did make me feel a heck of a lot better. And no, I am not naked in this picture.
Next month: With a vocabulary that includes such words as "reckon" and "mack," is Christine outdated or just getting set to make a comeback??? Stay tuned.