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Michelle's Dating Diary:
Break ups to make ups...to break up again
Once I think I'm out, it always pulls me back in.
PART I
That's how I feel about every single one of my relationships, especially my most recent one. In my last entry, I stated that my year-long love affair had ended, and I was livin' the single life. I also said that my ex and I didn't have any major problems, we just chose to call it quits.
Just one month after the break up, my ex and I had "reconciliation." We had dinner, talked and joked around, and before we knew it, we were acting like a couple again. (Please note that I said "acting like a couple," but we were definitely not a couple. Which means that we called each other infrequently and we lacked the emotional intimacy that most couples have.)
Thinking that our temporary reunion was a one shot deal, we met up again and had a beautiful evening. Again, we parted ways at the end of the date.
As much as I liked seeing my ex again, I was starting to feel confused. Do I still want him? Does he still want me? Could we possible be a couple again? If we do in fact become a couple, is it going to be the same as before or are we going to make an effort to make it work?
Feeling the anxiety of having to face the situation, I decided that we needed to have the dreaded talk. I wanted to see him and review whatever the hell we were doing.
We met up, and after a "semi-enlightening" conversation at dinner, we decided to continue the conversation and examine "us."
We told each other that we both liked one another and unfortunately we were still very attracted to one another, but we knew that couplehood was not for us. We kind left it up in the air if we would get back together, but we knew that it was not going to happen. I took his hand, said goodbye and drove off into the night.
It didn't hit me until the next day that we broke up for the second time. It was a little weird this time around because we broke up after telling each other how much we liked each other and that we still think about each other. As nice as it sounds, it's still pretty bizarre and painful.
As much as I miss the times that we had, I know that the break up happened for a reason. It was a good thing for both of us, but I am also glad that I met him. I wish him the best and I look forward to actually livin' the single life.
Take it easy, giggles! ¤ Michelle