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Dear Angry Black Grrl:
The relationship edition...
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
GOT A QUESTION?
ADVICE OF THE MONTH
I’m not usually a jealous person, but I think my boyfriend is cheating on me. He’s constantly out at all hours and our sex life has dwindled. I’ve caught him in outright lies a couple of times, like he’ll say he’s out with a friend who will then call the house looking for him. I can’t prove anything, it’s just a feeling I have. How do I know for sure?
His Cheatin’ HeartDear His Cheatin’ Heart,
Girl, even if he isn’t cheating on you, you definitely know that he is lying to you! Exhibit A: If the person that he said he would be with calls you to find out where your man is, you already know that he is up to no good!True, there is a (slight) possibility that he is loyal, but his actions are showing otherwise. The next time he breaks plans with you, ask him what he’s up to. If he is scrambling to come up with an answer, it’s safe to say that you caught him in yet another lie.
Girl, you need to toss his sorry ass to the curb!
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
I met this guy at a party about a month ago, and we hit it off. We spent the whole night talking and laughing, and he even ditched his friends to spend more time with me. Everything was going great, but when it came time to go home, he said it was nice meeting me and took off. I was dumbfounded. I got his e-mail address from the host throwing the party, but I was too shy to contact him. About two weeks later, we met up at another party and he seemed so happy to see me. We talked for hours again, and he even put his arms around me at one point. But at the end of the night, he left without so much as a backward glance. I’ve been debating whether I should contact him. We seemed to hit off so well and I know he’s unattached, but I’m not sure if he feels the same way. Should I go for it anyway?
Dazed and ConfusedDear Dazed and Confused,
Okay, this dude is extremely and painfully shy. I can’t believe that he didn’t even get his mack on when it was obvious that you were feelin’ him!When I first read your question I was going to tell you to forget him and look for another guy — hopefully with more experience and confidence. But I gave it some thought and I think that you should contact him. Send him a harmless e-mail. Feel him out to see how he feels about you. Hopefully he’s not too shy and actually replies back. Good luck!
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
I met this great guy in one of my college courses, and he asked me out on the first day of class. I really like him a lot, but I’m not sure where it’s going. We’ve gone out on a couple of dates, but when we’re in class, he won’t so much as talk to me. After class, when he’s away from his friends, it’s a different story. He’s all over me, bringing me flowers and writing cute poems and telling me how much he likes me. I’ve confronted him about his behaviour, but he just says that he doesn’t want to be teased by his friends, but that he will soon tell them about us. It’s already been a month! I want to stick it out and believe him, but I can’t take it at times. Help me!
Hot’n’ColdDear Hot’n’Cold,
You need to find out what’s really going on with this guy. His behavior seems pretty juvenile. He’s nice to you in private but when his friends around he makes you feel invisible. You know I’d be angry if a guy did that to me!If I were you, I’d confront him again and let him know that you really don’t appreciate his childish behavior. (BTW, I still don’t understand why he’d be teased by his friends. What, is he in high school?) Think about it, if he’s pretending that he doesn’t even know you when he’s with his friends, what else is he keeping from you???
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
I did something horrible to someone I really care about. I have a boyfriend, but when an old fling came into town, we got drunk and had a one-night stand. It really didn’t mean anything, and I’ll never do it again. He’s since left and I haven’t mentioned anything to my boyfriend, but the guilt is too much to bear. Every time my boyfriend looks at me and says something sweet, I know I don’t deserve it. But I don’t want to break his heart, either. Tell me what to do!
I’m A CreepDear I’m A Creep,
Girl, I ain’t gonna lie, your situation is a little hard to fix.I can tell that the night shared with your ex is weighing down on you. The only thing that I feel will clear your conscious is if you 'fess up. I know that it sounds scary, but it seems like the only thing to rid yourself of the guilt.
Be ware that you might lose your boyfriend. At least you will be true to yourself and to your boo. Hopefully he will forgive you and you will be able to start over. Good luck!
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
Help me! I never thought I’d say this, but I think I’m caught in a love triangle. I was dating this girl, but things weren’t really working out, so I broke it off after a couple of dates. After we broke up, we remained friends and spent a lot of time together, more than when we were dating. She helped me through an especially rough time, and I started to see her in a different light. Unfortunately, while we remained friends, she started dating a girlfriend of mine. After a night of too much wine, I told her how I felt, and she said she felt the same way. She said she needed time from both of us, which means that we’ve both been trying to win her back, though my friend doesn’t know that I’m the other woman. I love her so much, but sometimes it feels like she loves the attention and drama more than she cares about me. Am I wasting my time?
Hopelessly DevotedDear Hopelessly Devoted,
Whoa, this sounds like some Jerry Springer ish! Y’all are freaky! Kidding!From the looks of it, it sounds like your feelings for your friend are true, so maybe you should respect her wishes and stay away from her a bit. She is involved with someone else and probably needs time to sort out her feelings for you and her girlfriend. Just give her some time. ¤ Michelle