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Relationship Resolutions:
A little resolution goes a long way...
Everyone makes New Year's Resolutions (even we've been known to on occasion) but does anyone ever take the time to make resolutions to better their relationships? Here are ten things you can do to make 2004 a sociable one.
This may sound silly and nagging, but it's true. Studies have proven that the more close relationships you have, the healthier you will be. Also, what are friends for? So always make a point, no matter how hectic your schedule may be, to drop an e-mail or a make a phone call and keep in touch.
Whatever the situation may be, it's always better to stay calm than to blow up. An old trick, counting to ten is supposed to de-stress you so that you can make rational decisions (and for kicks, you can count backwards, in French, standing on your head, etc.). Boyfriend pissed you off again? Friend was over an hour late and didn't call? Don't get into an argument unless it's necessary. Oftentimes, simply stating your feelings will open up the communication lines and possibly avoid a no-holds barred death match.
Now, I'm not saying that you should use your college tuition to buy your friends Palm Pilots. Giving can also be applied to a person - as in, always give 100% of yourself. (Where do I come up with these inspirational clichés? Too much Dr. Phil.) Don't ever take a friend for granted, and never try not to be yourself. If you find that you're uncomfortable admitting that you watch "Degrassi: The Next Generation" (ahem), then maybe the friendship is better left alone. Giving can also be applied to gifts, as in small, inexpensive tokens of appreciation that go a long way. For instance, if it's a friend's birthday, knit her a scarf or cook her dinner if that's your thing. Remember, relationships are built around affection, not money. And if you have a feeling it's all about the latter, it's time to go.
Don't keep it all in, or as studies have proven, you will have a heart attack. In the very least, your face will become all wrinkly from the constant frowning. If something bothers you, tell the person. Sometimes you have to brace yourself for an argument, but if the relationship survives, it will be that much stronger.
Humans are social creatures, but only to a certain extent. Don't run yourself ragged trying to be Miss Congeniality. Strong relationships can certainly survive a hiatus, and if you start to feel like you're being pulled in five different directions, maybe you're due for a break. Taking time out will also improve things, as you'll be refreshed and ready for your friends.
Yes, it's time for the monthly PDA - if you've been sexually active or are over the age of 18, it's imperative that you do yourself and those around you a favour and get checked up.
Again, I know you've heard this before, but it really works. Because you'll still wake up angry, there's really no point to going to sleep angry. Save some time and talk things through before hitting the sheets. It doesn't guarantee that you still won't be upset or hurt, but at least your mind will be more at ease, and in the morning, things will look a lot brighter.
Talking wasn't invented so people could hold things in. Communicate, communicate, and when you can't communicate anymore, draw a picture. Remember, it's therapeutic and it's good for your health. If you're feeling blue, don't push your friends away. Tell someone about it. Chances are, they know what you're going through and, if they're valuable friends, can offer you the support that you need. You don't have to tell everyone in the phone book, of course, but even one person goes a long way.
Friendships are like riding a bike - they say that even if you haven't done it in a while, you'll still remember how. Lost touch with your college friend? Haven't heard from your ex co-worker in a while? Give them a call, write them a letter, send a smoke signal. The point is, it's never too late to get in contact again. It takes minimal effort and will yield great results. Obviously, things may be awkward at first, but with time things can go back to the way they were. And even if you end up not being as close to the person as you once were (or simply don't want to be), the gesture will mean a lot.
Most falling outs occur because there's a lack of understanding or communication. Don't be so quick to throw away something until you're aware of the situation. If things still seem shady to you after this, it could mean that the friendship is dead. But when you try to understand the other person, you might be able to see why they did what they did, and get over the relationship hurdle instead of tripping over it and falling flat on your face (as I once did during gym class, but I digress). Also, don't be so quick to judge your friends. Again, understanding is key to figuring out motivation and needs. When you judge too much you miss the whole point of what friendships are supposed to be about.
Resolve to karaoke. Nothing brings people closer together than a microphone and a synthesized Whitney Houston song. And if your bond can endure the renditions of "Staying Alive" and "Dancing Queen," then you know your friends are keepers. ¤ C.Ho.
What does karaoke have to do with relationships? Scroll to the bottom to find out.