| |
Dear Angry Black Grrl:
Slutty friends, clothes thieves, burned by a birthday...
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
SOUND OFF!
ADVICE OF THE MONTH
I'm in a bit of a pickle. I have two mutual friends who are starting to see each other. It came as a bit of a shock and quite unexpectedly, but I'm glad for both parties. I inadvertently found out that one of the friends is actually dating several people at the moment. This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that I strongly suspect the other friend is none the wiser. I don't want to see anyone get hurt. I've stayed out of it so far because I know it's none of my business, but I'm just wondering if my silence is unwarranted. What do you think?
Withholding InformationFirst things first, do you know for a fact that your friend is unaware that your other friend is dating other people? Maybe they agreed to have a "no-strings attached" relationship. Since the relationship is fairly new, perhaps they decided to see other people until things get serious.
Seeing as you don't know all of the details, I wouldn't advise you to say anything as of yet. If your friend describes his/her relationship as a monogamous one, then you might want to add your two cents and tell them what's really going on. But be careful. Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth!
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
I have a really slutty friend. I mean, she throws herself at any guy who gives her even the slightest attention. That's all well and good, but then she gets depressed and can't understand why they won't return her calls. I keep telling her that she's better than this, but since I'm not a man she won't listen. It gets worse, though. I started dating a new guy, and he's a very sweet and kind man. He's met my friend, and agrees that she acts a certain way to get attention from guys. Well, a bunch of my friends, including the slutty girl and my boyfriend, went out to a club last weekend while I stayed home nursing a very nasty cold. My boyfriend came over after the club and told me that he was consoling her after she got turned down by some guy, and she tried to come on to him - even suggesting that they go to a private corner for some alone time. He swears that he didn't do anything, and a trustworthy friend who was at the club confirms his story. I just don't know what to do with my slutty friend. I understand that she doesn't really want my man, that she only wants him because he gave her a little bit of attention. But part of me really wants to punch her. What should I do?
A. J.Yo A.J., I say that you beat the stank ho down! The girl tried to mack on your man? You know that ain't right! At least your man had the decency to turn her down and tell you.
Clearly, your "slutty friend" has issues (lack of self confidence, low self esteem, etc.), which makes her feel the need to hit on every man that she sees. If I were you, I would confront her (I know that I told you to beat her down, but don't) and let her know that you do not appreciate what she has done. Hitting on a friend's man is not acceptable. It's up to you if you still want to maintain a friendship with her. Be warned, if she disrespected you once, she will probably do it again.
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
I have a roommate that can't stay out of my closet. She's always borrowing clothes without asking, and leaving my room a mess. I wouldn't mind so much if she were courteous enough to ask first. I moved out of my parents' place because my sister was the exact same way; I don't need this now. What's an effective way to get this across to my roommate?
Courtesy Is a MustGirl, you need to put a lock on your door! That might sound a bit drastic, but it will get the point across that you are not her personal stylist.
Okay, if that is a little too harsh for you, you can do something that is a less blunt. How about telling her that she should let you know when she wants to borrow something. Soften the blow by explaining to her that you may have had plans to wear the outfit. I'm sure that she will understand. If not, look into getting that lock!
Dear Angry Black Grrl,
I'm expected to chip in for a gift for an acquaintance's birthday. I agreed before finding out the gift was actually going to be quite pricey. I'm the only one going in who isn't a close friend. I don't want to shell out so much cash for someone I don't know that well, but backing out now might cause bad feelings and be in bad taste. What should I do?
I Work Hard For My MoneyFirstly, it's kinda tacky to agree to chip in for a gift and then turn around and not pay because the amount was higher than you expected. You should have found out beforehand how much you were supposed to contribute.
If you are financially unable to contribute, then you might want to let the rest of the group know and then pay what you can. If you are able to come up with your portion, then I say just pay it. I know that it might put a dent in your pocket, but consider it a very expensive lesson to learn. ¤ Michelle